


Made for each other

by ChocoNut



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Banter, Deviates from 4x02 onwards, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Marriage of Convenience, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-08 20:48:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 81,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15251751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: What if Jaime went on with his deal with Tywin to leave the Kingsguard and settle down with a "suitable woman"? Deviates from 4x02. He doesn't send Brienne after Sansa, he has different plans for her-he makes her a request. But things don't quite work as per his plan. Really slow burn (I love these)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rating might go up later, and character tags would have additions as we move on with the story.  
> The first chapter is a real big huge ball of fluff - I just had to get it off my system!  
> Jaime does something really really sweet for his favourite wench ;)

“Are you sure, we’re not related?”

Brienne threw him a penetrating stare, but knew better than to react. She was accustomed to his barrage of insults, and this was classic Jaime mockery, as usual.

“Maybe you’re a Lannister too, You’ve got the hair for it, if not the looks.”

He had flippantly tossed the comment at her, and swaggered away. She stood there for a few seconds, reflecting on what he had just so casually said. Did he really taunt her, _or did he_ \--she didn’t know the exact word for it--but that’s how men tried to woo women they wanted to court, right?  That’s what she had read in her books, and that’s what she had overheard the other girls giggling about, when she was younger. The very idea, that he would do something like that with _her_ , was enough to make her blush. On second thoughts, better sense prevailed, and she felt foolish. The notion that Jaime would have any such ideas about a woman like her, or for that matter, the idea of Jaime courting anyone seemed ridiculously far-fetched, especially when he had always been blatant about his love for Cersei. She brushed the thought away, and followed him, as they made their way out of the Godswood.

Jaime Lannister confused her. He could be both sincere, and sarcastic at the same time. He had assured her that he would return the Stark girls to their family, but a while ago, he seemed to lack the same sincerity towards the promise that he had made to her in Harrenhal. She had to admit, she couldn’t blame him entirely, considering the situation too had changed drastically. Sansa was part of his family now, and his hesitation in smuggling her out of King’s Landing was understandable. But they had to find a solution to the Sansa problem, and they had to do it soon. With Jaime’s growing disinterest, this seemed more and more daunting.

Brienne was treated with courtesy by the Lannisters-though, she suspected, it would’ve been solely at Jaime’s insistence. She was given comfortable chambers, new sets of clothes, and anything else that she might need. Despite all that, she felt uncomfortable, and severely out of place among the other noblewomen. Bluntly put, she stuck out like a sore thumb. Life was boring here. She had nothing worthwhile to do, and she was expected to present herself like a proper lady. She couldn’t knit and sew, like the other women, and the men didn’t want to train with her. She knew no one, and spoke to no one, except Jaime. Today was her name-day, and that made her feel all the more depressed. Lonely, and no one to share her day with, like every other year, she was filled with the same familiar emptiness. She had not told anyone about it-who would she tell? And who cared?

“What’s the matter, wench?” Jaime peered at her “Upset with the Lannister joke?”

Not wanting to reply, Brienne just shook her head, and continued walking silently by his side. He stopped, and scrutinised her with a frown on his face.

“I didn’t mean to insult you, Brienne” he said, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“It’s not that, Ser Jaime…” she began, then checked herself “It’s nothing, let’s go.” He didn’t need to know every little detail about her, particularly when it was of no relevance to him, and he definitely wouldn’t be interested in her silly problems.

“No,” he was adamant “You’re upset. What is it?”

She didn’t relent, but Jaime seemed to have no intention of giving up easily, either. He firmly stood his ground, refusing to budge an inch. _Gods, he could be as stubborn as a mule, at times._

“I’ve told you, and _only you_ , my deepest, darkest secret,” he sighed softly “Is it not fair, that I expect some reciprocity?”

“It’s nothing important.” Brienne shrugged off his question.

“It seems important enough to bother you,” he observed “Don’t you think, you can trust me enough to share your problems with me?”

How could he even doubt that? He was the only person she trusted in this whole damn city. _He was the only person she trusted in the whole damn world._

“It’s my name-day!” she finally confessed, embarrassed, that she should be upset over a matter as trivial as this. She felt like a ten year old girl.

“That calls for a celebration, then!” Jaime exclaimed, breaking into a wide grin. “Why so sad about it?"

“I’ve always been alone on my name-day,” Brienne admitted glumly “And here’s one more, it just keeps getting worse--” she stopped. _Why was she telling him all this?_

Jaime put a comforting hand on her arm, which caused her to break into a sudden shiver, despite the warmth of the sun. He said nothing for the reminder of their walk, and was engrossed in his thoughts.

“I should be going.” Brienne said, as they stepped indoors. They parted company, as she turned to leave for her chambers, while he made his way towards the White Sword Tower.

“Be ready by dusk.” she heard Jaime call out abruptly, without context.

“What--” Brienne spun around, surprised.

“I’m taking you out, wench.” he said “I can’t let you be all alone today, can I?”

“But--”

“For a change, will you listen to me without arguing?” he admonished her.

“But, I can’t go with you!”

Jaime stared at her, bewildered.

“I mean…I can’t go out _alone_ with you,” Brienne stuttered, her face burning “People will talk.”

“You have a point,” he agreed, frowning “We can take Bronn along. If anyone asks, we’re going to the city to procure weapons.”

“And why would the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard take _me_ with him?”

“Do you always have to ask so many questions?” he snapped  “Just do as I say, and meet me here.”

+++++

Brienne didn’t have much of dressing-up to do, she wore the same blue dress that she had worn that morning. She made sure her hair was neatly combed and in-order, nervously looking at herself in the mirror repeatedly to make sure she looked presentable. She couldn’t explain her strange urge to look nice today, it was almost... _girlish_. When she reached the castle gates, Jaime and Bronn were already waiting for her. She looked around nervously to see if anyone was watching them.

“What are you so worried about?” Jaime teased “You won’t be executed for spending an evening with me. Besides,” he continued, in the same playful vein “You certainly did _enjoy_ my company all these days.”

Bronn made an odd noise, which sounded like a snigger that had suddenly decided to turn into a cough. Much to her chagrin, Brienne felt herself blush. Jaime’s remarks always had this stupid effect on her, and made her feel like a shy maid of sixteen.

“Here,“ Bronn handed her a cloak, hiding his amusement at her discomfort “Wear this, my lady, it will help conceal your identity.”

Trying not to dwell too much on Jaime’s words, she draped the cloak around her, and they set off into the city. They made their way to Tobho Mott’s shop. There was only an assistant manning the place, who recognised Jaime and ushered them inside.

“The one I had ordered,” Jaime told him “Show it to the lady.” The assistant took them into the workshop, and unveiled a suit of armour.

“I meant to give it to you later,” Jaime said, as he searched her face for a reaction “But today being a special occasion…”

The armour was stunning, and she guessed, custom-made to her fitting. Brienne was overwhelmed: no one had ever done anything kind for her, let alone gift her something. She looked at Jaime, her eyes wordlessly conveying her thanks and appreciation for his gesture. Nodding in acknowledgement, he blushed slightly and lowered his eyes, as he said “I hope, I got your measurements right.”

Once Jaime had instructed the armourer to deliver Brienne’s new armour to the Red Keep, they made their way out, and the men led her to a fancy-looking inn. It was completely devoid of customers, except them. Jaime went over to one of the tables in a corner, and pulled out a stool for her.

Bronn walked to the innkeeper. “Make sure, they’re not disturbed for the rest of the evening, and remember, we pay for any customer that you lose tonight.” she heard him say, and leave, giving Jaime a nod.

An array of emotions flooded Brienne’s heart. She was _touched_ that Jaime had done all he could to make her day a memorable one, _alarmed_ that she had started thinking about him increasingly these days-ever since he had jumped into that pit for her-and what he had done for her today was not helping her get rid of those thoughts. She was _worried_ that someone might see her in his company, though he had gone out of his way to make sure that they were not spotted together, to avoid the prying eyes of gossip-mongers and wagging tongues.

“I don’t know much about your family,” Jaime attempted to make conversation, while the food and ale arrived “Except that you are Lord Selwyn’s daughter, and heiress to the _Sapphire_ mines of Westeros,” he grinned mischievously, as he mentioned _Sapphires_.

She winced “ _Really?_ Did you have to mention _sapphires_? I’m sure, the word doesn’t evoke pleasant memories for either of us.”

“Let’s accept the truth, Brienne,” Jaime instantly became serious “If I had not lost my hand, we wouldn’t be sitting together, sharing a meal and a civil conversation.” he sighed “And I wouldn’t have told you...all that, and we wouldn’t have trusted each other, as much as we do now.”

He was right. His lie to save her honour, his confession about Aerys, his promise to keep the Stark girls safe, his jumping into the pit to put himself in front of the bear to save her; if it were not for all of that, she would still have despised the Kingslayer. She couldn’t really pinpoint the exact moment of her change of heart towards him, but now, her feelings about him were definitely far from hate. That last thought brought a smile to her face.

“What are you smiling for?” Jaime was quick to notice everything. She groaned at his question, bracing herself to ward off a mocking comment, or a scathing taunt.

“Let me guess...thinking about me?” he seemed to enjoy watching her blush and squirm with discomfort.

“Is everything a joke to you? Aren’t you ever serious?” she asked wearily “Honestly, the only time I found you _tolerable_ was in that bath, when you confessed about the mad king.”

Jaime raised his eyebrows “You found me _tolerable_ ?” he repeated in disbelief “That, coming from you, sounds like _I love you_!” he said dramatically, clutching his heart.

Brienne felt heat flood her entire body, but she decided, that this time she wouldn’t flinch, she wouldn’t succumb to this ridiculous teasing that was getting painfully out of hand.

“When I said, I found you tolerable,” she said, gritting her teeth, trying to mask her embarrassment with anger “tolerable was _precisely_ what I meant.”

“You _like_ me, wench” he gave her his most charming smile “Don’t deny it.”

“I certainly don’t…” she started, feeling her face flush again. _Gods, she would die of facial burns if this continued all evening!_

“Alright, alright, it was a joke,” Jaime raised his hands “And a terrible one, but just one question…”

Brienne waited in apprehension, wondering what he would throw at her next.

“Were you _staring_ at me in that bath?” he asked her carefully “Given, that we were both naked and--”

“What? _No!_ ” she shouted, forcing herself to calm down “ _No!_ Now can we please--” she stopped, at a loss for words. The vivid memory of him, stepping into that tub naked was not helping her at all.

“Sorry!” he said quickly “Before you chop my head off, let’s go back to where we started. Tell me about your family.”

Brienne sighed, the burden of her childhood was too heavy to bear. “I’m afraid, my story is not very interesting.”

“I’d like to know more about my favourite travelling companion,” Jaime smiled “Interesting, or not.”

“My mother died when I was a child, my older brother Galladon drowned when I was eight,” she said, recalling those painful memories “And my sisters died in infancy.”

“I heard about that,” he said solemnly “It must have been a big loss for your family.” He put his arm around her, giving her shoulder a slight squeeze, and pulled her closer to him in an attempt to comfort her. She drew a sharp breath at his touch, and he immediately pulled away,  realising the impropriety of what he had done.

She decided to pretend this never happened, and proceeded to tell him about Septa Roelle.

“I’m sure, you must have given her a piece of your mind.” Jaime was amused “Imagine the poor woman’s plight when she tried to teach you to be a lady.”

“Oh, she doesn’t deserve any pity,” Brienne retorted “She was a monster.”

She told him about how the Septa kept going on and on about how she would never find a suitor, her father’s attempt to find her a match, and her three unsuccessful betrothals.

Jaime frowned “You were to be married to an old man?” he exclaimed, disgusted when he heard about Ser Humphrey Wagstaff.

Brienne nodded, telling him about how she insisted that she would wed Ser Wagstaff only if he could beat her in combat, and described to him in detail, and with utmost relish, the miserable outcome of that fight.

“That poor old man,” Jaime snorted with laughter “I can picture you duelling him, and breaking his bones. Setting your father a condition, that you would only marry a man who would beat you in a fight,” he said, still laughing “Not many ladies would do that.”

“I’m the one to be pitied here,” Brienne snapped.

“ _I_ could beat you,” Jaime had stopped laughing now, and his bright green eyes pierced hers “I’m strong enough.”

“Hah!” she scoffed “When you had two good hands, you couldn’t beat me, remember?”

He leaned closer, his eyes still locked on to hers “Oh, don’t underestimate me, wench” he whispered “I am training to fight with my other hand, and Bronn’s a good teacher. Who knows? I might beat you one day.”

“Even if you do manage to beat me,” she argued, trying to ignore the effect his proximity was having on her “How does it matter?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he said, his voice getting softer “You might have to keep the promise you made to your father.”

As the possible implication of his statement hit her, Brienne suddenly felt shy. Her discomfort might have been obvious, as Jaime broke into a laugh again. “Relax, Brienne,” he said “ I have no intention of fighting you again.”

When she kept quiet, he urged her to go on.

She told him about how she learnt her skills from Ser Goodwin, and the first time she met Renly Baratheon, the way he treated her with courtesy and respect, and how she fell in love with him.

“Are you still in love with Renly?” Jaime asked her bluntly. Brienne was taken aback by his candidness.

“That’s a very personal question, I--”

“Yes, or no?” he pressed.

“I am not going to answer that.” Brienne said angrily “I don’t have to tell you everything...”

“My apologies, if I’ve offended you,” Jaime said “I just wanted to know because…”

“What?”

There was a hint of longing in his eyes when he spoke “At times I feel, your love for Renly is similar to mine for Cersei.” he sighed “I love Cersei with all my heart, and she is the only woman I have ever loved--” he hesitated “--But sometimes, I feel she doesn’t love me as much as I love her.” he finished sadly.

“She loves you, and she’s glad to have you back.” Brienne countered  “Renly never even knew of my feelings for him, there’s no comparison.”

Jaime shook his head “She would’ve been happier, if I had come back with my hand intact,” he said sarcastically “She, and the rest of my family, except my brother. Tyrion was the only one who was glad to have me back.”

Brienne didn’t know how to respond to this revelation. She felt a pang of guilt-he had lost his hand trying to save her.

“I love Cersei,” he declared, the ale clearly getting to his head now “I don’t really care if she loves me more, or less, it just frustrates me that I cannot marry her.”

_Cersei_ \--It all had to boil down to her-Jaime’s entire life. As he had been quick to point out at every available opportunity, she was the only woman he ever had loved-the only woman he had ever been with, and will ever be with. Oddly, this was the first time he had opened up about his sister to her.

“Enough of our sad stories,” Jaime said all of a sudden, in a cheery voice “Let’s drink to you, on this special day,” he raised his mug “To Brienne of Tarth, may she have a great life ahead!”

+++++

It was quite late by the time they reached home. Bronn had left, leaving Brienne alone with Jaime at the entrance.

“Thank you,” she said, her eyes shining “No one has ever done anything like this for me before, no one ever found me worth doing anything for--” she broke off, her voice choked.

Jaime smiled “You deserve it, my lady” he said sincerely “It’s just that you haven’t been around people who _value_ you. Their loss, not yours.”

“I’m training with Bronn,” he said, changing the subject “Why don’t you come tomorrow? At dawn, by the bay, I’d like your opinion.”

She nodded.

“After all, there’s a fight I have to beat you in.” he smiled and left, waving a little goodbye.

Walking back to her chambers, Brienne replayed the entire evening in her mind, and felt a comfortable warmth fill her heart. She had not known in a long time, what it felt to be happy and contented, to be cared for, and to be _valued_ -yes that was the word he had used. She smiled to herself.

When she got back to her chambers, there was a servant waiting for her with a message from Cersei. The queen mother wished to see her in her chambers, now. Slightly apprehensive, Brienne made her way to Cersei’s chambers.

+++++

“Lady Brienne,” Cersei invited her in with a smile that miserably failed to reach her eyes “I just wanted to convey my best wishes to you on your name-day.”

Brienne bowed “Thank you, Your Grace.” she said, wondering how Cersei would've known “My apologies, I’m quite bad with the curtsy.”

Cersei gestured to her to sit down “Nothing in this castle happens without my knowledge.” she said, as if reading Brienne’s mind, her voice dangerously soft. “You are a guest here, Lady Brienne, and you are as welcome as a guest would be.”

Brienne tried not to imagine where this was going.

“I would appreciate it, if you could curtail your late night pursuits with my--” Brienne almost expected her to say _‘my brother’_ , but instead she said “--my family.”

“There is a certain code of conduct which noblewomen must adhere to,” Cersei continued advising her “And sneaking away for a meal _alone_ , with a man who is not your husband...” she paused for effect “...is the first step to disgrace. I hope you would bear that in mind for the future,” she said smoothly.

Brienne nodded “Your Grace, My apologies for any inappropriate behaviour on my part.” she said hastily, and rushed out of there, wishing she’d rather die, than be accused of inappropriate behavior. She felt angry, and humiliated, never had she felt such embarrassment before.

 

 

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime confronts Cersei for threatening Brienne.

“This is the fifth time I’ve knocked you down in the last few minutes,” Bronn chided him “At this rate, you’ll be needing a lot more gold.”

“I’ve already paid you.” Jaime said sourly. How did Tyrion ever tolerate this man?

“New rates,” Bronn quipped “I charge by the hour.”

Every few minutes, Jaime kept glancing towards the steps marking the entrance to the place they had picked for training. It has been a while since they had started, but there was no sign of Brienne. She had said she would come, and he had been looking forward to her company. He had even hoped to spar with her, to know what she thought of his progress. _Why wasn’t she here?_

“What you lookin’ there for?” Bronn’s gaze followed his, as his eyes darted towards the stairs again.

“Nothing.” he grumbled, and picked up his sword again. And this time as well, he was flat on his back, with Bronn’s sword at his throat. He got up, rubbing his aching butt, and grimaced in pain.

“Your mind seems to be elsewhere.” Bronn observed “Waitin’ for her?”

“Yes.” Jaime answered absentmindedly, paying no attention to what Bronn had just asked him.

A second later, his brain had fully comprehended Bronn’s question “What? _No!_ ” he hastily corrected himself “I’m not waiting for anyone.” _Gods, could this man read his mind?_

“It’s good, you know,” Bronn said, smirking “You finally found someone who could get your mind off your sister.” He quickly raised his hands in defence, when he saw Jaime’s angry look “No offence, though.”

“Whatever you meant by that,” Jaime clenched his teeth “Just keep it to yourself. I don’t want to know.”

“Ofcourse you know what I meant,” Bronn teased “ _Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth_ , the only woman who’s managed to get Jaime fookin’ Lannister distracted during a swordfight.”

“I was not distracted,” Jaime said defensively “I was just...thinking.”

“About?”

“Things,” he replied lamely “Various things, important things, Kingsguard business.” realizing how comic his justification sounded.

“Never thought, I’d see this day.” Bronn chuckled “The greatest swordsman in Westeros losing concentration in a fight, because of a woman.”

Jaime glared at him.

“Look at you,” Bronn laughed “Acting like a shy little lad of fifteen, who’s just met his first maiden.”

“We’re done for today,” Jaime declared, making his way to the stairs. He had put up with Bronn enough for the day.

“So, how did it go last night?” the sellsword’s face was full of curiosity, as he caught up with him.

“You were there all the time,” Jaime retorted “What more do you want to know?”

“I’ll be specific then,” Bronn said, articulating each word, as if explaining to a child “What happened, when I was _not_ there with you?”

“Nothing.” Jaime replied, trying to sound casual.

“At dinner? Or after?” Bronn prompted “Did you escort her to her chambers?”

“I did no such thing,” Jaime started, but Bronn was busy, running away with his imagination.

“Did you kiss her goodnight? And did you fu--”

“Shut up, Bronn!”

“What the fuck did I say wrong? That’s how it usually ends, doesn’t it?” Bronn put on an innocent expression “And, if nothing happened, then why are you _blushing_?”

“I’m not blushing,” Jaime countered, his face growing hotter as he spoke “I _never_ blush. It’s because of the heat...and the exercise.” Could he have had a sillier reasoning than this? Hitting his head on a wall was better than facing Bronn’s snide remarks.

“It’s anything but hot, the sun’s just risen,” Bronn had an answer to everything. “And if you call falling to the ground a dozen times ‘ _exercise’_ , then I get your point.” he said wisely.

“Not exactly a _dozen_ times.” Jaime replied sheepishly. It had been more than a dozen times, but who was keeping count?

“You were holding your sword like a ten year old, and staring in the exact opposite direction!” Bronn exclaimed “I’m your tutor. I’m being paid to correct you.”

“To correct me.” Jaime snapped back “Not to gossip about the women in my life.”

“Ohh, she is _the woman in your life_ now.” Bronn said gleefully “Well, that explains a lot of things.”

“It only explains your imagination, which is now threatening to run out of control.” Jaime responded. He was tempted to offer Bronn an extra bag of gold, just to shut his mouth.

“You were the one who mentioned the women in your life,” Bronn refused to relent “So Lady Brienne is now one of the women in your life.”

“Yes,” Jaime agreed, and quickly added “But not in the perverted sense that your imagination perceives it.”

“What’s perverted in fancying a woman?” Bronn sounded offended. Jaime wondered if he was really offended, or was just putting up a show.

“I don’t fancy her,” he replied “She’s just…” he paused, struggling to describe what Brienne was to him.

“Go on,” Bronn led him on “She’s just…?”

“She’s special.” Jaime couldn’t help smiling, despite his vexation “She saved me in ways no one else could have.”

Bronn was listening to him in rapt attention now. Jaime continued, lost in memories of Harrenhal.

“She was ready to risk her life for me, when there was nothing in it for her, except a vow-that too an unselfish one. No one has ever done that for me.” he said wistfully “And she’s the only person in this world, who accepted me, and trusted me for who I was.”

“And…?” Bronn seemed genuinely interested now. “You never told anyone, what really happened at Harrenhal.” he sounded serious now, and the snarky edge to his tone had disappeared.

“I saved her from getting raped--”

“--And you lost your hand for her.” Bronn chimed in.

Jaime nodded “And I saved her from a bear,” he said, telling him about the bearpit adventure.

“And yet, you say you don’t fancy her,” Bronn gave him an appraising look “Do you really expect me to believe you?”

Jaime shrugged “Believe what you want.” he said firmly “I don’t love her, or fancy her. I respect her, and I care for her. She’s important to me. And that’s all there is, or will be, between us.”

“If you say so.” Bronn agreed, albeit in a tone indicating that he was completely unconvinced, as they returned to the castle. Jaime had the uncomfortable feeling, that he was yet to see the end of Bronn’s mockery.

Though provoked by Bronn’s teasing, Jaime had actually been thinking about Brienne all through the morning. Why hadn’t she come? What had happened, that prompted her to change her mind? He knew her. If she said something, she kept her word. He resolved to ask her as soon as he was back at the castle. This was usually the time for her walk with Margaery. If he was in luck, he could still catch her. As he turned towards the gardens, Bronn called out to him.

“The Kingsguard tower’s here,” he said, pointing in the opposite direction “You’re going the wrong way.”

“I’m heading to the gardens.”

“Ahh,” Bronn flashed him a wicked smile “So you’ve started stalking her now. I’m sure, she’ll find that very romantic.”

Jaime swore loudly, making sure Bronn had heard him, and went his way.

+++++

He maintained a safe distance, staying out of sight, as he watched Brienne chatting with the Margaery Tyrell. How did women manage to talk so much? He waited impatiently, and wondered when he could have her to himself for a few minutes. At last, she had finally finished, and was walking back alone, when he cornered her in one of the corridors. Making sure that they were the only ones there, he approached her.

“Lady Brienne,”

She halted, hearing his voice.

“Good morning, Ser Jaime” he noted that her voice lacked the usual warmth, and the musical note to it, that he had always found so appealing was missing. Her eyes were cold and indifferent.

“You never came,” he complained “I waited for you.”

Brienne looked away “I wasn’t well, so decided to stay back.”

Jaime gave her a sharp look “But you just came back from your walk. Why didn’t you rest if you aren’t well?” he asked her suspiciously.

“Do you have to question everything I do?” She looked angry “I’m not answerable to you.”

“No, you’re not.” Jaime agreed “I was just concerned that you didn’t turn up this morning, worried that something might have happened.”

“There’s nothing you need to worry about, Ser Jaime” she said curtly.

“But Brienne,” Jaime was perplexed “What have I done?”

She was not ready to listen to him. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She walked away, before he could say or do anything.

+++++

Jaime had just finished a meeting with the brothers. He sat in the tower, carelessly flipping through the pages of the Book of Brothers, his mind still replaying the morning’s conversation with Brienne. Something was wrong, and she wasn’t telling him. Had he done something to offend her? He would be restless until he found out. He had to speak to her again, but he hesitated for fear of being attacked for stalking her. He had a fleeting vision of Brienne knocking him to the ground for following her. It was then that Bronn entered.

“I have some information for you,” he said “I know why your lady didn’t turn up this morning.”

Jaime waited for him to go on.

“Your sister,” Bronn said, looking disgusted “had us followed last night.”

“What do you mean?” Jaime started, ready to pounce on him.

“She had her spies tailing you, when you took Lady Brienne out for dinner.”

“Do you realize, what you are accusing Cersei of?” Jaime knew that his sister was well capable of it, but Cersei being his biggest weakness, he refused to believe that she could stoop to that extent “And how do you know for sure?”

“I have more friends on the streets than you can imagine,” Bronn said confidently “I’m sure, your sister might have confronted your lady about it. That explains why Lady Brienne didn’t meet you today.”

“I don’t believe you.” Jaime snapped.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Bronn challenged him “I can bet on it.”

+++++

That night, after a lot of internal conflict and deliberation, Jaime finally decided to confront Cersei. He needed to know the truth, he had to get it out of his mind, one way or the other. He approached her bedchamber, knocked once, and then barged in without waiting for a reply. She was sitting in front of the mirror, combing her hair, and seeing him enter she got to her feet.

“What a pleasant surprise,” she smiled, and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck “You didn’t tell me you would come tonight,” she whispered seductively, running her fingers over his cheek “If you had, I would’ve been ready for you.”

He wriggled free from her hold, and took a step backwards, putting some distance between them.

“What’s the matter with you?” Cersei frowned “You seemed desperate to get inside me, just a few days back.” Jaime said nothing, but gave her a bitter look.

Her expression soured “It’s that big cow, isn’t it?” her voice became low and vicious, as it always did when she was angry “You’ve returned, a changed man. What has she done to you?” she hissed.

“What have _you_ done to her?” Jaime barked “Obviously you’ve said something, and she’s upset.”

“Why are you so concerned about some stupid wench?” Cersei lashed out.

“Shut up!” Jaime shouted “Don’t call her wench, and she is not stupid.”

“Gone soft on her, have you?” she spat bitterly “Tell me, did you bed her?”

“Cersei, you know I’ve never been with anyone but you--“ he tried to explain, but his sister was blinded by rage and jealousy, and rambled on.

“--Is she any good? Better than me? Has your taste changed? Have you started liking big beastly women--”

“Cersei!” he shouted, unable to control his rage anymore “That’s enough. She has done nothing to deserve your venom.” he was shaking “Quite the contrary, if it were not for her, I wouldn’t be standing in front of you today.”

Jaime paused for breath. He decided to get to the point. “Why did you have us followed?”

“Why did you sneak out with that bitch?”

“What did you tell her?” Jaime asked her angrily “And watch your language when you talk about her!”

“I told her to act like a lady, to make sure she stays within her limits,” she said smugly “To put an end to her immoral and inappropriate liaisons with the men of my family.”

Jaime was appalled “Did you actually tell her all that?”

Cersei nodded with a smile, with no sign of any remorse for what she had done.

“How could you?” Jaime was filled with revulsion for what she had done “It was my idea, not hers, and what gives you the notion that she and I--” he stopped, unable to proceed “And of all the people, _you_ advised an honourable woman about morality and proper conduct? Imagine the woman who fucks her brother, lecturing others about morals. Talking about morals and propriety doesn’t become you--”

“So you do care for her…” Cersei said softly, glaring at him “I was right. That bitch is trying to steal you from me.”

“I love no one, but you, Cersei” Jaime desperately reassured her “I could’ve had any woman I wanted, but whatever I have done, I’ve done for you. How could you ever doubt my loyalty to  you?”

Cersei’s expression softened, and she moved closer and kissed him. Despite his rage, he found himself kissing her back. She always had the knack of covering up her mistakes by trying to seduce him, and each time she did that, she succeeded. _Why was he so vulnerable when it came to her?_

Jaime went back to his chambers late that night, filled with remorse. He had been to Cersei, to confront her about the way she treated Brienne, but eventually he had succumbed to her, and ended up fucking her. Fucking Cersei usually felt fantastic, a triumph over society and its taboos, a defiance of laws, but today, it felt _awful_ , and he almost felt _guilty_ about it. It gave him the feeling that he had failed Brienne, the only person who had unconditionally put her trust in him. She had been humiliated for no fault of hers, and he could do nothing about it.

+++++

Unable to sleep all night, he was up early next morning. He went to the gardens, waiting for Brienne to finish her morning walk. And once she was alone, he caught up with her.

“Brienne--”

“Ser Jaime,” she quickened her pace, attempting to get away from him as fast as she could “I am in a hurry, so unless it is really important...”

Jaime grabbed her arm, causing her to stop in surprise. Instantly realizing what he had done, he dropped his hand.

“I apologize for my sister’s behaviour,” he said regretfully “I am disgusted, and extremely ashamed of the allegations that she made against you.” he spoke to her feet, unable to meet her eyes “It was my idea, and if anyone should take the blame, it should be me. Forgive me...if you can.”

The familiar warmth was gradually returning to her bright blue eyes. She shook her head “You tried to do something nice for me, so how is it your fault?” she hesitated “I’m sorry, I was harsh with you. You cannot be held responsible for your sister’s actions.”

Jaime heaved a sigh of relief, glad that things were back to normal between them, but Brienne was not yet done with what she had to say.

“Your sister was right.” Brienne let out a sigh “I should not have gone with you like that. It does look _inappropriate_.”

“Come on, Brienne,” Jaime was frustrated with her diplomatic response “You can be honest with me. What she did was unpardonable, stalking us like that--”

“Ser Jaime,” she interrupted “Don’t get me wrong, while your sister’s actions are definitely questionable, she is right in one aspect. We should refrain from meeting like this, alone.”

Jaime cursed under his breath “We are doing nothing inappropriate, wench--”

“No, not according to us,” Brienne cut in again “But in the eyes of the world, it does look suspicious. So it’s better we stop meeting, or having conversations in private, except for reasons absolutely unavoidable.”

Jaime opened his mouth to vehemently object, but he was cut off again.

“You love your sister,” she said brusquely “And my honour has been questioned. So it’s better, we stay away from each other.”

Jaime sighed “If that’s what you want…” he said slowly “Good day, my lady.” he turned to leave, when she called out.

“Ser Jaime, I would like to take Sansa with me, and leave as soon as I can.”

He had been dreading the subject, but it had to come up someday. He had to think of something now, and he sincerely wanted to help Brienne. She had placed her trust in him, and the last thing he wanted, was to let her down.

“Give me time until Joffrey’s wedding. Once that’s over, we will do something to get her out of here.” he assured her.

+++++

“And neither will you.” Loras answered him smugly. As Jaime tried to work out what Loras really implied, he raised his head, and saw Brienne walk past him. She was wearing an elegant blue dress, quite the opposite of the hideous pink one that she was forced into in Harrenhal. He only happened to notice now, that blue was a colour that suited her. It called attention to her beautiful eyes. He was distracted for a moment from the thoughts of marrying Cersei, and Loras’ taunt about it. He tore his eyes away from Brienne, and continued patrolling the wedding.

Off and on, he found himself stealing glances at Brienne. He wanted to make sure no one mocked her, or pointed fingers at her. He saw her wish the newly-weds, and then to his dismay, noticed Cersei going over to speak to her. _Gods, no!_ Won’t she leave the poor woman alone? He couldn’t catch the conversation between them from where he was standing, but by the look on Cersei’s face, he could gauge that it wasn’t going well. He couldn’t fathom why Cersei was so jealous of her, when he had made it as clear as daylight, that she was the only one he loved. What could he do to convince her, that there was nothing except respect and friendship between Brienne and him?

His eyes met Brienne’s for a brief second, as she turned away from Cersei. He attempted to follow her, trying to catch a glimpse of her face, to make out what had traversed between them. He wanted to seek her out and ask her, but held back, since she had so categorically told him, that she didn’t want to speak to him unless necessary. It was then that he heard a high pitched scream. _Cersei._

Their son was dying, and Cersei was kneeling over him, in tears and hysterical, pointing her finger at Tyrion.

+++++

Tywin Lannister was sitting in the Tower of the Hand, absorbed in a book, when Jaime entered. Even after all these years, the imposing figure of his father never failed to intimidate him.

“Father,” he said tentatively “I wish to speak to you.”

Tywin motioned to him to go ahead.

“You know, Tyrion didn’t kill Joffrey, and so does Cersei” Jaime said desperately “Why has he been arrested? And why is there a trial?”

“Your brother and his wife have been accused of murder, and they will be punished.”

“But father--”

“You will not interrupt while I’m speaking!” Despite being forty, Jaime felt like a little boy in front of his father.

“There will be a trial for Tyrion, and he will be punished, if found guilty.” Tywin declared.

“He will be found guilty and executed!” Jaime exclaimed. He took a deep breath and continued, his voice calmer now “And what happens to your dynasty if Tyrion dies? I’m Kingsguard, forbidden by oath to carry on the family line--”

“I’m well aware of your oath.” his father said dismissively.

“Who carries the lion banner in family battles? Your nephews? Lancel Lannister? Others that I don’t even know the names of?”

“What happens to my dynasty, if I spare the life of my grandson’s killer?” _He had his father’s attention now._

“It survives,” Jaime said softly “Through me. I’ll leave the Kingsguard, I’ll take my place as your son and heir, if you let Tyrion live.”

“Done.” Tywin agreed at once. Jaime was surprised at the instant success of his plan. “When the testimony is concluded, and the guilty verdict rendered--”

“But why a trial?” Jaime objected “Any trial conducted will be a farce, a sham. Cersei will make sure Tyrion is executed.”

“The trial will be conducted a week from now, and there is no way out of it,” Tywin said firmly “Tyrion will be given the chance to speak. He’ll plead for mercy, I’ll allow him to join the Night’s Watch.”

Jaime sighed, realizing there was no more room for negotiation with his father. Tywin Lannister always got what he wanted.

“You’ll remove your white cloak immediately. You will leave King’s Landing to assume your rightful place at Casterly Rock.” Tywin commanded “You will marry a suitable woman, and father children named Lannister.”

Jaime nodded “You have my word.”

“And you have mine.” his father assured him.

That was a hint that he was dismissed, and there was nothing more to discussed. He turned to leave when his father called out to him.

“I have a suitable girl in mind for you.” Tywin announced.

Jaime turned around, surprised.

“You will wed Margaery Tyrell in the next two days,” he declared “If you do, Tyrion will be safe.”

“Margaery?” Jaime exclaimed, finding the very idea of marrying her preposterous “She’s Joffrey’s widow, she’s too young for me. It’s highly inappropriate--”

“She’s old enough to bear your children,” Tywin said in a tone indicating that the matter was closed “And that’s good enough for me. Now are you willing to marry her, or not?”

“I accept,” Jaime conceded, knowing he had no other choice, but to give his consent if he wanted Tyrion alive “I will wed Margaery Tyrell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost hated myself for writing the JC sex scene, but it had to be done :(


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olenna Tyrell interferes.

Olenna Tyrell was pacing her chambers, fuming with rage. How could Tywin Lannister decide the fate of her granddaughter without her consent? The man had the nerve to _inform_ her, after he had made the decision. Her Margaery, marry the disreputable Kingslayer, the man with the un-washable stain of sister-fucker to his name? The man, whose proclivities were some of the world’s worst-kept secrets? The fallen knight, who had lost his hand, and along with that, his shining reputation as a swordsman. She had her granddaughter marry Renly Baratheon, who was another abomination, with a penchant for men. While that was for obvious political reasons, she couldn’t allow such a thing to happen again. And certainly not with the incestuous oathbreaker. She couldn’t let her best laid plans be ruined, and it was time to do something drastic about it. For that, she needed Margaery to do her bit.

Margaery came into her chambers. “You called for me, grandmother?”

“How can you be so calm, when your fate has been doomed?” Olenna scolded her.

Margaery smiled. “I can rest assured, you have something in mind, grandmother.” she said, trying to pacify her grandmother “I’m confident, you will get me out of this.”

“We cannot afford to contest Tywin’s decision directly. Not unless...” Olenna said thoughtfully “There is only one way out of this predicament.”

Margaery looked at her questioningly.

“Tommen.” the old woman declared.

“But, Lord Tywin would never agree--”

“Oh, I’ll make sure he agrees,” Olenna had a crafty glint in her eyes “I have thought of something to convince Tywin, so that, he agrees for you to marry Tommen.”

“But grandmother, Ser Jaime is his priority now,” Margaery argued “For him, Tommen is just a boy whose marriage can wait.”

“Do you want to be Lady of Casterly Rock?” Olenna asked irritably “Or Queen of the Seven Kingdoms?”

“Are you sure, you want me to answer that?” Margaery asked quietly “So what’s your plan, what do we do now?”

“Tonight, you will go to Tommen’s chambers--”

“I can’t do that!” Margaery exclaimed, scandalized “He’s just a boy.”

“He won’t be for long, not after tonight.” Olenna chuckled, winking at her “Not when you have convinced him to marry you.”

Seeing that Margaery was still hesitant, she decided to make instructions clear. “You will go, and do whatever it takes to make sure, you are the only one he desires.”

Margaery nodded reluctantly “But how does that ensure Lord Tywin agrees?” she asked doubtfully “Tommen will do as his grandfather says, after all, his grandfather is Hand of the King. How do we know, that Tywin won’t convince Tommen against it?”

“I have a way out of that too,” Olenna smiled “I will speak to Tywin. I know how to deal with him. After all, I do have a score to settle with him, after he blackmailed me into agreeing for Loras’ marriage to Cersei.”

Margaery’s eyes widened “And, how do you propose to do that?”

“That’s where, your new friend will help us.” Olenna replied cryptically.

“New friend?” Margaery was surprised “I don’t quite understand what you--”

“You must learn to keep up, girl,” Olenna rolled her eyes. Margaery was not going to like this, but this was the only way it could be done. “I’m talking about Brienne of Tarth.”

Margaery still looked confused. “And how is Brienne going to aid us in this pursuit?”

“Where has Brienne of Tarth been all these months?” Olenna asked, her eyebrows raised “If I am right, _with the Kingslayer_?”

“Yes, she was the one to bring him back from Riverrun,” Margaery said “They’ve been together a good part of the last year--” she suddenly gave her grandmother a look of comprehension “I know what you plan to do, grandmother,” she objected, looking displeased with the idea “I can’t allow you to--”

“It has to be this way, my dear. I like the girl too, and I’m sad I have to do this.” Olenna tried to convince her. “Now you go and do your bit, while I do mine. Let me have a word with Lord Tywin.”

+++++

Olenna wasn’t too happy to use Brienne as a pawn in her game, she liked the girl, but she had no other choice. She had to sacrifice her for greater good-her granddaughter’s ascent to the throne. She had not taken all the effort to get rid of Joffrey for it to end like this. And, this new turn of affairs called for another malicious plan of hers.

Margaery came in smiling “Grandmother,” she called out happily “Your plan worked. I went to Tommen last night and...”

“And..?”

“He succumbed to my charms.” she said mischievously “He asked me to marry him, and he has declared, that he will marry no one but me. He said he’ll fight his grandfather, if need be.” she laughed.

Olenna patted her on the back “Good, that’s the first phase of the plan. Now it’s time for me to execute the second.”

She made her way to the Tower of the Hand to speak to Tywin. He had announced the wedding to be conducted in two days. It was a race against time, and any action needed, had to be taken now. Tywin was at his desk, writing a letter. He got to his feet, as soon as he saw her.

“Lady Olenna,” his authoritative voice rang out “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” He beckoned to her to take a seat. Then taking his place, he poured out two glasses of wine, and offered her one. Olenna decided to waste no time, and came directly to the point.

“I am here to discuss the alliance of your son and my granddaughter.” she said “Why was I not consulted on the matter?”

“Do you have any objection to it, my lady?” Tywin asked, fixing her with his usual piercing gaze.

“I want to know, why my consent was not taken,” she repeated “And why was I informed after the decision was made?”

“I am asking for your consent now,” Tywin replied in a matter-of-fact tone “You will agree, that it is a good match. My son is a renowned knight, rich, handsome, and heir to the Rock. He will make a good husband for Lady Margaery, unless you have an objection--”

“I do.” Olenna interrupted him.

“May I ask why?”

“Two reasons,” Olenna had come well prepared with her argument. “His Grace, King Tommen, has expressed interest to marry Margaery.” she said, firing her first weapon “I have been informed by my granddaughter, that he has asked her for her hand in marriage last night.”

If Tywin was surprised or shocked by this revelation, he did not show it.

“I am Hand of the King,” his commanding tone did not falter “My grandson will do as he is advised. It is my responsibility to counsel him. When he is of age, I am sure I will be the first person to worry about his marriage.”

“Your grandson will listen to you, yes,” Olenna agreed “But surely, you wouldn’t want to displease your _king_ , especially, when he insists on marrying the girl he loves.”

“ _The girl he loves?_ ” Tywin repeated mockingly “He’s too young to even know what love means, let alone experience it.” he looked at her sharply “I’m sure, you would have had a part to play in this.”

“Oh I did nothing, Tywin,” Olenna sighed “Young love at times, goes beyond our control. Coming back to the point, I have another reason to object to this ill-matched alliance.”

“Please do continue.” Tywin said sarcastically.

“Now, where do I start,” Olenna began dramatically “I’ve heard people talk about your son, Lord Tywin.”

“Jaime? What about him?”

“Aren’t you aware of the rumours floating around about him?” Olenna asked, looking at him carefully “Though, I wouldn’t call them rumours, as I have substantial evidence to prove them--”

“About my son and my daughter?” Tywin waved a hand dismissively “That’s old news, I’m afraid. The whole country is well aware of it. What about it now?”

“I’m afraid, you are mistaken, my lord,” Olenna said smugly “It’s about Ser Jaime, alright, but not related to your daughter.”

“I know of no other rumour concerning my son.” Tywin said impatiently.

“Your son, and the Maid of Tarth.” Olenna announced triumphantly.

“ _What?_ ”

She was pleased to see the effect of this declaration on him.

“Haven’t you heard?” Olenna asked, wearing an expression of mock surprise “It’s been the talk of Harrenhal, and from the information I have, the news has already reached King’s Landing.”

“What do you mean? What news?”

“Your son spent the best part of the last year in Lady Brienne’s company,” Olenna explained “Didn’t it ever strike you, that they could’ve been _more than_ travelling companions?”

“What are you trying to imply?” Tywin looked unnerved. Olenna was satisfied, whether he believed her or not, she had definitely managed to sow the seed she wanted to. It was now time to water it, and watch it grow.

“Let me speak plainly then.” she said “Your son has been having a clandestine affair with the Maid of Tarth, and the talk of the town is that…”

She gave a long pause.

“...The Maid, is a maiden no more.” she finished theatrically.

“Stop spreading disgusting rumours about my son!” Tywin exclaimed in anger “Jaime would do no such thing.”

“Come now, Lord Tywin,” Olenna chuckled “We both know the extent to which your son can go, where it concerns matters of his heart. I don’t think I need to remind you of his--”

“My lady,” Tywin roared “What evidence do you have, to substantiate your claim?”

“Roose Bolton,” Oleanna declared “Why don’t you ask him, or any of his men? Locke, the man who cut off your son’s hand can tell you what went on between them.”

“And, how do _you_ know of all this?”

“That, I’m afraid, is information privy only to me.” Olenna said, shaking her head “All I can tell you, is that my source is reliable. After all, the Kingslayer and his Maid were Lord Bolton’s captives for a while. There are eye-witnesses at Harrenhal, who can tell you that your son...how shall I put it… “

“You may put it, as it exactly happened.” Tywin snapped.

“Your son shared a bath...with the lady, _just the two of them_.” she said dramatically “Your son himself can vouch for this. Why not ask him directly?”

Tywin looked as if he had been slapped in the face.

“I’m afraid, there’s more,” Olenna was enjoying his embarrassment “Shall I go on?”

Without waiting for an answer, she continued “Did you ever wonder, why your son lost his hand? It happened, when he saved the honour of the lady. And it doesn’t end at that.”

“Oh, there’s more?” Tywin asked sarcastically.

“Oh yes, there is,” Olenna said cheerfully “Your son refused to abandon her at Harrenhal. He was desperate to pay her ransom as well, and jumped in front of a bear risking his life for her, when the Boltons refused to let her go with them.”

Tywin took a deep breath, the fury in his face was now unmistakable.

“A couple of days back, Ser Jaime took Lady Brienne out to the city, and had dinner with her,” she lowered her voice “ _Alone!_ By that I mean, just the two of them--”

“I know, what _alone_ means.” Tywin snapped.

“They were seen together, well past midnight.” she said disapprovingly “But that’s not all, the latest news surpasses everything...”

“...They say, that Brienne of Tarth is with child,” Olenna whispered “Jaime Lannister’s child.”

“Enough!” Tywin bellowed “You have gone too far now.”

“Lord Tywin, you may choose to believe what you want to believe.” she said confidently “I can’t prove this last rumour, and I could be wrong, _but what if I am right?_ ”

Tywin’s eyes were fixed on hers.

“You have your sources at Harrenhal, feel free to verify whatever I told you. And what if,” she challenged him “Brienne is really pregnant with the Kingslayer’s child? Would you want another of your son’s bastards out in the world? Would you risk not believing me?”

“What has all this got to do with Jaime’s wedding with Margaery?”

“Your son’s already tarnished reputation could be ruined further, if you choose to go ahead with this alliance.” Olenna said ominously “He has already fathered bastards with one woman, how will Westeros take to another illicit affair of his? He is your son and heir. What happens to the reputation of House Lannister, if this was out in the open?”

Tywin was not yet prepared to give in to her. “What if Lady Brienne is not pregnant? What if you are wrong?”

Olenna nodded in agreement “I may be wrong with the pregnancy bit. But what happened at Harrenhal, I have evidence for. Your son has spent days and nights alone with her. I don’t find it surprising at all, that he may have bedded her at least once…”

“IFs and MAYs,” Tywin interjected “do not make for defining statements.”

“The fact is, some in Harrenhal refer to her as the _‘Kingslayer’s Whore’_. They wouldn’t do that without reason, would they?” she paused “After all, which gentleman goes about sharing bathtubs with a noblewoman, unless he has a specific interest towards her? And what happens when this news happens to reach every corner of Westeros?”

“Are you threatening me?” Tywin’s tone was menacing.

“Why would I threaten you?” Olenna was unperturbed “I just came to give you facts, as they are, before you hear them from gossip-mongers.”

“You will regret this.” he growled.

‘Oh, let’s stop fighting, Tywin.” Olenna said impatiently “Take my advice, let Tommen marry Margaery, and none of this will come to light. Your son is a knight, I’m sure you will have no difficulty finding another bride for him. Women will line up to marry him.”

She got up to leave “Think about it carefully, and let me know your decision.”

 

*****

  
Brienne had heard about Margaery’s betrothal with Jaime, and oddly, that led to a strange sense of heaviness in her chest. She had to admit, the news had taken her by surprise, since Jaime had always claimed Cersei to be his only love. _What had made him change his mind?_

There was a knock on the door, and a servant entered with a message for her from Cersei.

“My lady, Her Grace wishes to see you.” she left, conveying the message.

Brienne groaned. What did Cersei want with her now? She had made it clear to Jaime, that she didn’t want to have anything to do with him, although the decision had left her with an emptiness that she couldn’t quite explain. Expecting the worst, she left to meet Cersei.

“Your Grace,” she bowed, as soon as she was ushered into Cersei’s chambers.

“Lady Brienne,” Cersei smiled “I am going to ask you a few questions, and I want honest answers.”

“I’ll try my best, Your Grace.”

“What is my brother to you?” Cersei’s question shot her like an arrow through the heart.

“As I said that day, your brother rescued me, Your Grace,” Brienne said, unable to suppress the little smile on her lips “More than once. He is my saviour.”

“Do you serve him?” Cersei spat.

“I don’t serve your brother, Your Grace.” Brienne tried to be calm “Or anyone else.”

“Do you love him?” Cersei asked, fixing her with a stare that could kill.

“I respect him,” Brienne said, her voice choked “And I trust him with my life, more than I trust anyone else. He’s the most honourable man, I’ve ever met.”

“My brother?” Cersei let out a bitter laugh “Honourable? Now that’s something I’ve never heard of. What happened between you two at Harrenhal?”

Brienne was taken aback. What had made her ask that? “Nothing, Your Grace.” she replied, not knowing what to say.

“You lie!” Cersei shouted “You shared a bath with my brother, _naked_ , do you deny that?”

 _Seven hells! How did she know?_ “I don’t deny it, but it’s not the way you think--”

“Jaime lost his hand, because of you, trying to save your bloody honour. Do you deny it?”

“No, Your Grace.”

“My brother refused to leave you at Harrenhal, he stupidly risked his life to fight a bear for you.” Cersei continued tormenting her “Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Brienne admitted.

Cersei paced the room, breathing heavily. “You whore!” she cried out “All the rumours are true then. And do you deny that you are about to bear his child?”

“ _What? No!_ ” Brienne shouted, losing her composure “That’s a lie!”

“If I can believe that you bathed together,” Cersei said spitefully “Then the idea of you being his whore, and bearing his child is definitely believable. Do you deny that he bedded you?”

“Ofcourse, I deny it,” Brienne cried “Ser Jaime is an honourable man. He would never do anything to cause disrepute to my honour.”

“I don’t believe you. I heard my father mention this to one of his men, giving orders for--” Cersei was about to continue, but checked herself.

“If it’s a lie, then prove it.” she challenged Brienne “I’ll have Qyburn examine you to make sure you are still a virgin--”

“I will consent to no such thing,” Brienne was besides herself with rage now. “With all due respect, Your Grace, I can only request you, not to believe these foul rumours, but beyond that, I can say nothing. _I am under no obligation to prove anything to anyone_.” she paused “I don’t belong here, and I wish that you let me leave as soon as possible. I don’t intend staying in this city a minute longer. Now if you will please excuse me...”

Brienne bowed, and rushed out of there as fast as she could, without looking back at Cersei’s reaction to her outburst. She had to meet Jaime, and talk to him. But if she went to him now, it would only help fuel the rumours further. _But rumours be damned, this was more important_. Making her way to the Kingsguard tower, she knocked on his door, and entered.

“Brienne,” he got to his feet immediately.

“Ser Jaime,” she said, unable to contain her agitation “I need to leave. I can’t stay here in King’s Landing anymore. I--”

“Brienne, what’s the matter?” Jaime asked, concerned “You look disturbed. Has anyone said--”

“Are you even aware of the horrible rumours that they are spreading about us?” she shouted “Or are you content sitting here, oblivious to what is happening around you?”

“What do you mean?” Jaime looked confused. _Gods, he really didn’t know._

“Your sister,” Brienne said “She had called me. Do you know what she--”

“What did Cersei say this time?”

“It wasn’t entirely Cersei this time.” Brienne was agitated, and spoke very fast “She just told me all that she overheard your father tell someone--”

“What did she say, Brienne?” Jaime repeated, his expression a mix of worry and anger.

“Your father knows everything about Harrenhal,” Brienne flushed “How we...shared a bath, and how you saved me.”

“Yes.. so?” Jaime looked perplexed “That bath was nothing indecent, we both know that, and all the rest are facts, nothing to be hidden from anyone.”

“Yes,” Brienne looked away from him now “But--”

“What?”

“It shames me to tell you that... “ she hesitated “They think we…”

A look of understanding flashed across Jaime’s face. “No...we didn’t.” he said angrily “How can they come to conclusions without knowing the facts?”

Brienne shook her head sadly “Ser Jaime, they saw us together two days back, past midnight, and connecting the two they--” she couldn’t bring herself to continue.

“What?” Jaime urged her to finish.

“They think I laid with you, and I am to bear your child.” she said, tears filling her eyes “Your sister called me _your whore_.”

A look of rage that she had never seen before, came over Jaime’s face.

“Did Cersei tell you all this?”

“She overheard your father mention this.”

“Then, it is time I had a word with my father.” he said, his fist clenched in fury.

Brienne had to tell him now. “I’ve made a decision, Ser Jaime.”

Jaime nodded, breathing deeply “Anything that I can do to help, my lady, just say the word...”

He hesitated.

“...I don’t know if an apology would suffice for all these insults that you have had to bear, but nevertheless, I do apologise for all this turmoil that you are having to go through, because of my family.”

“I need to leave,” she said “I am going after Sansa. I have no wish to be here any longer.”

“Then that’s the least I can do for you, Brienne.” he sighed “I will arrange for you to leave King’s Landing tomorrow. I hope you find Sansa, and fulfil your vow.”

“Thank you, Ser Jaime...” she hesitated “And goodbye, since this is the last I’ll be seeing of you. I wish you a happy married life.”

“Goodbye, Lady Brienne!”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime confronts his father

Jaime sat at the White Sword Tower, staring down at the wine in his glass. He was unable to come to terms with the way his family had maligned Brienne, the most honourable woman he had ever come across, subjecting her to the derogatory accusation of being a whore, and that too, the whore of the most dishonourable oathbreaker in Westeros.

Tonight was the last he ever saw of her. He had pictured their farewell in his mind’s eye, and this was definitely not the memory he wanted to retain of their goodbye-embarrassing, painful, awkward and apologetic. He wanted to see her off amicably, he had planned on giving her a parting gift- _something for her to remember him by_ . He wanted to dine with her one more time- _something for him to remember her_. Since when had Brienne become so important to him? Subconsciously, he found himself comparing the two women in his life.

_Cersei craved power, Brienne craved to be loyal_

_Cersei was a beauty, Brienne was beautiful inside_

_Cersei scorned him for losing his hand, Brienne respected him for that very reason_

_His relationship with Cersei was a sin, what he shared with Brienne was pure and innocent_

_Cersei felt familiar and comfortable, Brienne felt like a breath of fresh air_

_Cersei was his candle, Brienne was a bright ray of sunshine_

_He would kill for Cersei, he would die for Brienne_

_Cersei was his weakness, Brienne was his strength_

_He loved Cersei, he cared deeply for Brienne_

Brienne was the reason he was alive today: he had lost the will to live in Harrenhal. But for her, he would be either dead, or consumed by self-pity and withered away uselessly, with all his confidence lost. And this was how he had repaid her-by allowing her to be defamed, and given the reputation of a whore, for no fault of hers.

_Despite all that, Cersei was the one he loved, that was what fate had in store for him, and that was how his life had been, and would be._

The influence of alcohol had perhaps made him poetic, and he could have gone on and on comparing, but it was now time for action: time to speak to his father.

+++++

“What is so important, that you had to disturb me so late in the night?” Tywin asked him irritably “Could it not have waited until morning?”

Jaime had planned, and mentally rehearsed the conversation a million times, but when he actually came face to face with his father, he was tongue tied for a while, his anger morphing into apprehension.

“Well, What is it?” Tywin yawned “I haven’t got all night.” He then peered closely at his son “I think, I know why you are here.”

“Why do you think I’m here?” Jaime wanted to hear him out first.

“You’ve heard about Margaery and Tommen, haven’t you?”

“That’s not what I’m interested in. I don’t care who Margaery marries,” he said, anger slowly beginning to surface again “What scandalous stories are you spreading about Brienne?”

“That is precisely what I was about to ask you!” Tywin glared at him “What’s going on between you and the Tarth woman?”

“Nothing, I respect her.” Jaime said truthfully.

“I don’t think, you are being completely honest with me.” his father looked at him incredulously “If you wanted physical intimacy, I’m sure Littlefinger would have been happy to oblige with one of his girls--“

“Father!”

“Did I say something wrong?” Tywin said coolly “A man gets naked in bathtubs either with his wife, or with whores, and since this Brienne is not your wife--”

“You are the one spreading filth about us,” Jaime hissed “I should’ve guessed. Who gave you all this rubbish?”

“That is none of your concern.” Tywin rebuffed him.

“It becomes _my concern,_ when someone spreads false stories about her,” Jaime fumed “And points fingers at her honour.”

Tywin narrowed his eyes “So, her honour has become more important to you, than your own.” he surmised “Now I see the basis for these stories.”

“My bloody honour is beyond repair, but _she_...” Jaime tried to control his anger “is important to me.”

“Exactly how important, may I ask?” Tywin asked sarcastically “Important enough to share a bath with, or to lose a hand for, or to risk your life for--”

“Yes, I am guilty of all that,” Jaime confessed “And there’s no sin in that, it just felt like the right thing to do then.”

“How about fathering a child with her?” Tywin’s tone was icy now “Was that also the right thing to do?”

“I didn’t touch her.” Jaime stood his ground “she’s chaste, she’s still a maiden.”

“Do you expect me to believe you?” Tywin’s eyes were fixed on his “Should I trust the words of a well-known oathbreaker?”

“I don’t care, if you believe me or not,” Jaime had now given up trying to convince his father “What I share with her is pure, and will be untarnished, no matter how much nonsense you try to spread.”

Tywin gave his son a long hard look.

“You are in love with her.” he concluded “I never thought, I would live to see the day, when my son would fall in love with the ugliest woman ever born.” he smiled bitterly “Ah, the Gods do punish me at times for my sins!”

“I am _not_ in love with her,” Jaime countered “You know, I love--”

“I don’t want to hear about _her_ , either,” Tywin interrupted “If you don’t love this Tarth woman, then why are you bothered about what happens to her?”

“Because…” Jaime let out a long sigh, no matter how much he tried explaining what he shared with Brienne, no one ever understood “She means a lot to me. I care for her, and I owe her a debt.”

“What debt?” Tywin looked suspicious “You risked your life trying to save her. That repays any debt that you ever owed her.”

“I survived the Harrenhal trauma because of her. And I would do anything to make sure she’s safe.”

There was no way, he could tell his father that she was the only one who trusted him, believed his side of the story when he told her about why he killed Aerys, that she was the only one he trusted.

“She wants to leave King’s Landing tomorrow,” Jaime was sure, the information that Brienne would be away from him, would placate his father “I’m making arrangements for her to--” he could not obviously tell his father, that she was going to find Sansa “--go to Tarth, back to her father.” he lied.

“I’m afraid,” Tywin said, in a tone which clearly told Jaime that he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear “There’s a small problem with that. You see, I have my own doubts about this woman.”

What in the Seven Hells could his father mean? What harm did Brienne ever cause him?

“She was sworn to Catelyn Stark, and I had the Starks killed at the Red Wedding,” Tywin said impatiently “Don’t you get the connection? Or are you so slow, that I have to explain?”

Jaime was genuinely clueless, and stared at his father blankly.

Tywin gave him a look of disappointment “It is possible, Brienne of Tarth is here to avenge the Starks.”

“That’s impossible,” Jaime shot back “I know Brienne, she--”

“She is a threat to me,” Tywin didn’t let him complete “And I don’t intend letting her out of my sight. If I allow her to leave King’s Landing, she may go after Sansa, probably even try to find Arya, and regroup the Starks, if she can reach Jon Snow.”

Jaime was horrified by his father’s conclusion. “Father, that’s too far fetched--”

“She is a threat to my life, Jaime,” Tywin said bluntly “And this very minute, she might be plotting my murder, so I have ordered--”

A terrible thought flashed through Jaime’s mind “Ordered what, father?”

”Ordered my men to execute her if she either leaves King’s Landing, or in the event of something happening to me.”

“What do you mean?” Jaime wanted to make sure, he had heard his father right.

“She dies if I come to any harm,” Tywin repeated “Or, if she leaves King’s Landing.”

“You are crazy!” Jaime was shocked “I didn’t know, you could stoop to this extent. She has done you no harm, she saved me--”

“Yet” Tywin snapped “She has done nothing _yet_. If I let her be as she is, there is every chance that she might. And when she saved you, the Starks were alive. If they weren’t, she would’ve killed you--”

“She is the last person who would kill anyone without reason,” Jaime said defensively “She refused to kill a spy when I identified one for her, chose to give him the benefit of doubt, when I advised her not to.”

“Enough of this discussion,” Tywin bellowed “We need to decide what to do with you. You will marry one of the Frey girls. Walder Frey has many of them, I’m sure he’ll let you choose.”

Jaime folded his arms to his chest, and glared at his father, speechless.

“And that is not all,” Tywin continued “To quell these foul rumours about you and this woman, I am planning to get her married to Ser Gregor Clegane, so that she remains here, in King’s Landing, under his watchful eye--”

“The Mountain?” Jaime shouted “So that he can rape, and abuse her? Are you out of your mind?”

“You are talking to your father, you better show some respect!” Tywin commanded “And I decide what happens in this family. If you want to see Tyrion alive, you’ll marry one of the Frey girls, and Brienne of Tarth will wed The Mountain.”

“I can’t let you just hand her over to The Mountain,” Jaime shook his head in disbelief “You won’t let her leave King’s Landing, because you fear she’ll regroup the Starks, you fear she’ll kill you to avenge Catelyn Stark, you have ordered her to be killed in case something happens to you, and you want her to marry _an animal_.” he murmured, his thoughts completely clouded by his father’s shocking revelation “I won’t let that happen. Not while I’m still here.”

“I’ll ask you again, Jaime,” Tywin repeated “You said, you are not in love with her, so how does it matter to you, what happens to her?”

Jaime ignored the question, he was preoccupied with finding a solution to this quandary. He had a way out, and Brienne would probably strangle him for this, but he had no other choice.

“I want to marry her.” he announced, looking his father squarely.

Tywin stared back, as if he had not heard him properly.

“Yes,” Jaime was firm “I will marry Brienne, she’s a noblewoman, Heiress to Tarth, and suitable for me in every possible way a match can be.”

“Do you expect me to approve of that?” So typical of his father to be mocking.

“You already have Walder Frey’s support, so what is in it for you if I marry one of his daughters?” Jaime had his reasons ready “Bad choice, if you ask me. But, if I marry Brienne, we have Tarth on our side too. Why don’t you look at the political benefit in it?”

When Tywin didn’t respond, he took it as a positive sign, and went on.

“That’ll put all your stories to rest as well,” Jaime said confidently “She comes with me to Casterly Rock, so you can rest assured that she won’t attempt to kill you. You’ve had your way in getting me out of the Kingsguard, so the least you can do, is to let me choose my bride.”

“Are you sure?” Tywin was still not over the shock.

“Yes,” Jaime replied smugly “I’ve made my stand clear-if I ever marry, she will be the one, or I won’t marry at all. Do you consent, or not?”

“She’s a freak--”

“She’s going to be your daughter-in-law,” Jaime rebuked him “If I were you, I wouldn’t insult her.”

“So you _have_ made up your mind then.” Tywin muttered, in a resigned tone.

+++++

Jaime was lying on his bed, thinking about the next problem on his hand-how the hell was he supposed to break the news to Brienne? How was he going to convince her to marry him? He had taken a decision without consulting her, and successfully managed to convince his father, but the bigger problem would be getting her to agree. He lay there thinking, when there was a knock on the door, and Cersei entered.

“I came to know, you had been to see father,” she confronted him, before he could say anything “Now that Margaery is to marry Tommen, who is your latest bride?” she mocked.

“I am to marry Brienne of Tarth.” he answered her, bracing himself for her reaction. She had to know the truth, and better from him, than from anyone else.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Cersei said sarcastically “I’m sure, you must be overjoyed.”

“Cersei,” he began “I really don’t feel like--”

“That surely would’ve been your idea. How did father take it?” Cersei taunted “I hope he hasn’t died from the shock.”

Jaime was trying to find a way to put an end to this discussion, but Cersei had other ideas.

“You love her, don’t you?” She was back to the same argument again.

Jaime sighed “Please don’t bring that up again. I’ve already told you there’s nothing between Brienne and me. You know me better, than to believe all these false stories.”

“Harrenhal was not false,” she cried “You were _naked_ with her, why?”

“That did not happen like it has been made to sound.” he was tired of repeatedly explaining the same thing to everyone.

“You said, you killed people to get back to me,” her tone was now accusatory “But you went back for that bitch, you were prepared to die for her. What does that mean, Jaime?”

To that, Jaime had no answer. He himself didn’t know, why he had done that. It just felt like the right thing to do.

“Why, Jaime?” she sounded desperate now “Am I not attractive enough? Or have you lost interest in me?”

“It’s not about you,” Jaime’s tone softened “You know, I’m doing it for Tyrion.”

“That little monster is more important to you than I am,” she said spitefully “The little monster, and your whore!”

“Cersei, Tyrion is my brother, he’s important to me, and so are you,” he said placatingly “You also know, you’re the only one I love.”

Cersei sat next to him on the bed, she moved closer and pressed her lips to his. Jaime pushed her away gently “Not now, Cersei,” he was tired, and not in the mood, and somehow, today it didn’t feel right “I think, you should leave now.”

+++++

The next morning, soon after breakfast, he went to meet Brienne. Never had he been so nervous in his life before.

“Ser Jaime,” Brienne greeted him, as she opened the door “I presume, you have come to let me know about the arrangements of my departure.” she asked hopefully.

Jaime wondered how to broach the subject with her.

“Brienne, I…” he hesitated “I need to talk to you.”

“Yes?” her blue eyes widened with curiosity.

“I’m afraid, I can’t let you leave,” he said, fearing her reaction “I need you to stay in King’s Landing, for a few more days.”

A dark look flashed across her face “And, why would that be?”

“I have a request, my lady,” he was in two minds, whether to tell her the real reason, or not. If he did, she would definitely want to leave King’s Landing. Knowing Brienne, she would rather fight The Mountain, and die, than get married and break her vow to the Starks. He had to try and coax her differently.

“Yes, Ser Jaime?”

“Will you marry me, Brienne?” Jaime blurted out. Looking at her appalled face, he realized how weird that might have sounded to her.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m sorry…” he said, embarrassed “That sounded like a challenge for combat. That’s not how a proposal should be made.” he felt himself blushing.

“Marry you?” she looked confused “I don’t understand--”

“--I should’ve explained,” Jaime said sheepishly. He went on to tell her about Tyrion’s delicate position, and his deal with his father. About how, if he got married and ruled Casterly Rock, Tyrion’s life would be spared. He left out the part about his father’s orders for executing her, and his plans about getting her married to Clegane.

“But why me?” Brienne stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Because I can’t think of anyone else that I would want to marry.” Jaime said earnestly.

“And what about what I want?” she asked, her eyes shining “No one ever cares about what I want. You know, Ser Jaime, that I am bound by a vow. I cannot marry you--”

“Brienne, You have my word, I would never ask you to give up your vows.” Jaime paused “I’m not interested in this marriage as well, but I had to take this decision.”

“You had to,” Brienne snapped “But I’m not bound by any such compulsion. I have loved only once, and it didn’t end well with Renly, I cannot love again or marry--”

“And I too love only Cersei,” Jaime decided to give her the facts “That’s why, I promise you, that this will only be a marriage on paper.”

Brienne was now confused “What do you mean?”

He exhaled deeply “We will be married in the eyes of the Gods, and the people, but I don’t expect anything more than that from you.”

“You mean—“ Brienne began.

“Yes, I will neither expect, nor demand of you, any of my rights as a husband,” he sighed “neither physical, nor emotional. Our relationship will be just the way it is today.”

“But I’m sure your father would expect me to…” she blushed “bear your children, your Lannister heirs.  For that, we will have to...” she looked away from him, her face reddening even more.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Jaime couldn’t help admire her blush. She looked so adorable when her face turned pink, when she was all so...embarrassed. For a moment, the prospect of this marriage didn’t seem as unpleasant as he had thought it would be. _Gods, what was he thinking?_ He quickly brought his mind on track.

“I won’t let that happen,” he reassured her “I’ll think of something. You know, I won’t touch you without your consent.” Not if he feared for his life, he thought, though he didn’t dare tell her that.

“And how do you expect me to fulfill my vows to Lady Catelyn,” Brienne argued “I can’t be bound to you all my life.”

“I don’t expect you to,” Jaime agreed “All I’m asking you is, give me some time, once Tyrion is out, I’m planning to get him somewhere safe, and then I’ll get our marriage annulled--“

“Because you love Cersei, and you cannot marry anyone else.” Brienne concluded.

Jaime nodded. “You only have to tolerate me for a few days,” he tried to persuade her “You’ve put up with me for more than that, and I don’t think I’m that unbearable.” he gave her a teasing smile.

“You have the gift of making even the most serious situation sound trivial, don’t you?” she was clearly displeased with his attitude “Ofcourse it is trivial for you, you are not the one to make the sacrifices. You get what you want. Your brother stays alive, you get the tag of a marriage, and you get to continue your love affair with your sister.” she said bitterly.

Jaime was silent. Brienne suddenly felt ashamed of her outburst “That’s not how it was meant to come out.”

“I know how much freedom means to you,” he said sincerely “And I have absolutely no intention of interfering with that. I know you don’t love me, and you have no interest in marriage either. I respect that. You are free to pursue your life. Once matters with Tyrion are settled, I promise, I’ll help you find Sansa, myself.”

“I’m sworn to the Starks, Ser Jaime. Do you realise, what it means to marry you? I become a Lannister. How do you think, the world would perceive it?”

Jaime had no answer to that. He couldn’t refute her point, the Lannisters had ruined the Stark family-marrying Jaime would make her their enemy.

“I’m sorry, Ser Jaime,” Brienne’s blue eyes were determined “I can’t go ahead with this crazy plan, I cannot marry you. As for your promise to help me find Sansa, I don’t know if I should believe you. You promised to let me go today, and you went back on your word.”

There it was, he had become the Oathbreaker again in her eyes. With a heavy heart, Jaime nodded “As you wish, my lady. You are under no pressure, and your decision is not going to change anything between us. However…”

“...I request, that you don’t leave King’s Landing today. Give me some time, I’ll get you out safely, but not today, please!” he was prepared to do anything just to keep her safe from his father.

Brienne looked at him, her big blue eyes full of hurt “You promised, I could leave today,” she shook her head sadly “You failed to keep your promise.”

+++++

Jaime was desperately thinking about how he could prevent her from leaving, if she even made an attempt to leave, his father’s men would kill her, no questions asked. Never had he felt more helpless and desperate, not even when he had lost his hand, and his will to live. He had Brienne then, to get him back on track, but how would he now get Brienne back to him?

A servant entered, knocking at his door.

“My lord,” he hesitated “There’s bad news.”

Jaime immediately imagined the worst. “What is it?”

“Lady Brienne--“

“What happened to her?” Jaime jumped to his feet.

“She’s been poisoned, my lord”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime takes care of his wench.

Jaime stood outside Brienne’s chambers, watching her as she lay on the bed, pale and motionless. His heart melted at the sight, and he tiptoed into the room, worried that he might wake her. Assuming that she was asleep, he sat down beside her, and gazed at her for a few seconds. She opened her eyes, and he smiled down at her in relief.

“How are you, my lady?” His chest tightened with guilt, as he realized that it was because of him, that she had ended up like this.

“I’ve been better,” she whispered hoarsely “But I’m not in such a bad state either.”

Jaime thanked the Gods, though he had never believed in them, that he had reached her on time and summoned Qyburn. _What might have happened, had the antidote not been administered on time?_ He dared not think about that possibility. He had initially found Qyburn’s reluctance to attend to her, suspicious. It was only after Bronn and Jaime had threatened him with dire consequences, that he did what was required. Now that all was well, and she was fine, though weak, pale and confined to bed for a few days, his heart had started beating normally again, and his brain had resumed functioning. He now realized, that it was obvious that his father was the one behind it-in fact, Qyburn might have been the one to execute his orders. This was not the time to lose his wits, or upset her, so he made a mental note of finding out the truth from his father.

“How did this happen?” he asked her.

“My wine,” she recollected “A maid gave it to me this afternoon, said it was a gift.” she strained to remember “I don’t think she said, who it was from.”

“I think, I know quite well whose gift that was.” Jaime muttered angrily under his breath. Brienne didn’t seem to have heard him.

“Ser Jaime…” she fumbled for words “What I told you earlier--”

“You should rest.” Jaime admonished her softly “Everything else can wait.”

“No, I should not have said all that,” she sounded bashful “I didn’t want to marry you, that’s why--”

“I know,” he gently reassured her “And don’t worry, I won’t ask you again. It was my fault, really, ” he gave her an apologetic look “I know, I cannot hold you back here against your wishes. But I assure you, once you are well, I will get you out of here.”

“I really can’t marry you, Ser Jaime,” her large blue eyes had a hint of sadness in them “I hope you understand.”

He nodded, and tried to sound cheerful “It’s time you stopped talking, and rested, And mind you--” he gave her a teasing smile “--don’t think you can sneak out, I’ll have my personal guards stationed outside your room. They’ll make sure, I know of it.”

At this, a ghost of a smile formed on her lips. She tried to get up to a sitting position, when she started coughing violently. Jaime put an arm around her shoulder. Frustrated that it was his wrong arm, he wrapped his left arm around her waist, and gently propped her up against the pillow. He sat next to her, his stump still around her shoulder, as he felt her lean slightly into him.

“Easy,” he murmured “Don’t strain yourself too much. Side effects of the antidote, it looks like.” He filled water in a glass at her side-table, and gently brought it to her lips, Her fingers brushed against his, as she reached out to take the glass from him. She quickly withdrew her hand, and drank slowly, but his arm was still around her. She turned to face him, to hand the glass back to him, and that was when he realized, that they were huddled together in the narrow width of the bed, with just a few inches of space separating their faces. Their eyes were locked onto each others’ for a few seconds, unblinking. He was so close to her, that he could count the freckles on her face, and study the minute details of the scar over her lip. _He found himself staring at her._ Despite her weak and sickly state, she seemed to register his touch, and he felt her stiffen in his arms. Thinking that he had probably made her awkward, he took his arm off her shoulder, though his gaze was still fixed on her.

She coughed again, and that brought him back to his senses. “I should be going now,” he lowered her gently, back into her supine position “I’m going to assign a full-time maid to you, who would be at your beck and call, and a guard of mine will be stationed outside your door all the time.”

“Ser Jaime,” she called out, as he reached her door, her voice alarmingly feeble “Why me?”

Jaime frowned, _how could he tell her, that his father had a contrived and elaborate plan to have her executed, and that he had almost succeeded today?_

“I don’t know” he lied “But, I’m going to find out.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Brienne shook her head “If you had to marry, you could’ve just picked any woman in the seven kingdoms,” she sighed “I’m sure, many will still line up to marry you. So why did you pick me? I’m an ugly--”

“If I had wanted to marry a pretty woman,” Jaime was irritated “I would’ve done that years back. Besides, who said that beauty is all a man looks for, in a wife?”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” she persisted.

“No one understands me the way you do, Brienne” he said sincerely “Not even Cersei. She loves me, but I don’t think, she really understands me for who I am. You on the other hand--”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Bronn peeped in, signalling to Jaime that he was there to speak to him.

“I should be going, my lady. You take care, and...” Jaime smiled “No exertion, remember, I’ll know, if you’ve been up to something.”

+++++

“You do know your sister was behind this, don’t you?” Bronn asked him bluntly.

“It was my father.”

“Why the hell, would your father want her dead?”

Jaime ended up telling Bronn about his entire exchange with Tywin and Cersei, and about the rumours that were being spread about Brienne and him.

Bronn thought for a while “Aye, could be your father, but,” he pondered “I wouldn’t rule out your sister either.”

“Why would Cersei--”

“Jealousy!” Bronn exclaimed “Isn’t it obvious to you? She’s jealous, that you are in love with Lady Brienne--”

“I am not in love--”

“Alright,” Bronn conceded defeat “ _She thinks_ you are in love with Lady Brienne. And jealousy can drive one to any extreme. Also,” he deduced “Poison is a woman’s weapon. Your father’s men would have put a sword through her, not poisoned her.”

“I don’t think it’s Cersei,” Jaime objected, though he wasn’t completely confident about what he thought. _What if it was indeed Cersei?_ Now, there were two people he had to protect Brienne from.

“Innocent, until proven guilty,” he finally declared “Could be either of them, but, right now my bigger concern is Brienne’s health and safety. And that’s where you come in, Bronn.”

“Me?” he looked surprised.

“Yes,” Jaime frowned “I trust no one, not my father, not my sister, and not even my brothers of the Kingsguard. I want you to guard her personally. I would’ve done it myself, had it not been for--” he stared at his stump angrily “I feel so useless.” he glared at the floor in frustration.

“You really do care for her, don’t you” Bronn asked, his tone neither taunting nor mocking this time.

“She’s my guest,” Jaime said brusquely “And, she’s been attacked under my roof. It’s my responsibility to keep her safe.”

“I didn’t know, you cared for your guests so much,” Bronn looked amused “Prince Oberyn is your guest, I don’t see you fussing over him.”

“Why don’t you take care of Oberyn Martell?” Jaime gave him a sly grin “Since you seem to be interested in him.”

“Nah, Not my type. I like women,” Bronn refused to be diverted “We’re talking about you, and your lady here.”

Jaime opened his mouth to shut him up, but Bronn hadn’t quite finished taunting him yet.

“Running away from the truth, are we?” he observed “I admire you for the way you jumped in chivalrously, volunteering to marry her. That’s killing two birds in one stone--”

“What do you mean?”

“You save her from the Mountain, and you get to marry the woman you love.” Bronn calculated “See, two-in-one--”

“I don’t--”

“Aye,” Bronn said in a resigned tone “I know you don’t love her.  I’m just interested in seeing for how long you keep saying that.”

“Cersei is my only love,” Jaime asserted “And it is with her, that I’m destined to be.”

“Maybe not, if this wedding takes place,” Bronn said optimistically “Your sister tried to kill the woman you love, are you that blind, that you can’t see the obvious?”

“I don’t know yet, if it’s Cersei” Jaime said stubbornly “It could’ve been my father.” he sighed “Honestly, I don’t know who to trust.”

+++++

“Why did you try to kill her?” All his pent up anger and frustration had come out at the sight of his father.

Tywin glared at him in disbelief “Try to kill who?”

“Don’t pretend, father,” Jaime growled “You know quite well, that I’m talking about Brienne.”

“And why would I want to kill her?” Tywin looked at his son as if he had gone mad “When she is to be your bride?”

“She refused to marry me, and you knew that,” Jaime accused him “You knew, she was going to leave King’s Landing, you tried to kill her, have you forgotten your elaborate plan?”

“I didn’t know, that she refused to marry you,” Tywin seemed to be genuinely surprised “Although, now that I do know, I think you ought to focus your energy in convincing her to accept you, otherwise you risk losing both her, and Tyrion.”

“What--”

“I’ll give you one more week, until the trial begins,” Tywin ordered him “Marry her by then, and Tyrion lives, if not, both your brother and your wench are in grave danger.”

“I want an inquiry,” Jaime demanded “I want to know who did this, and I want them punished.”

“And I give you my word, that they will be punished,” Tywin assured him “But it has to wait. The trial is my priority. Once that is over, you will have your inquiry.”

+++++

Could Bronn have been right? Would Cersei stoop to that level? There was only one way to find out.

“Why would I kill anyone?” Cersei said bitterly “Me, jealous of that ugly wench?” she laughed mirthlessly “Have you even looked at her properly? How dare you consider her worthy of my jealousy?”

“You did accuse her of stealing me from you,” Jaime wasn’t entirely sure, that she was being truthful “And you did confront her about the rumours, though it was no fault of hers.”

“Are you accusing me of murder?” she said in a silky, venomous voice “So that you can get rid of me, and live happily with your ugly wife--”

“Cersei!” Jaime snapped “You know, I’d readily marry you right now, if the laws allowed it,” his tone was now soft, but firm “I don’t know who did it, if you did it or not, but I’m beginning to have enough reason to believe that you did.”

She glared at him, unable to believe what she heard.

“Unlike the way you treated Tyrion, I believe in innocent until proven guilty, so you have my benefit of doubt.” he added as an afterthought _“for now.”_ and walked away, leaving her fuming after him.

Cersei could’ve done it, but Jaime was more inclined to believe that it was his father, rather than his sister. Self-preservation was a more compelling reason for attempting to murder someone, than a jealous woman’s possessiveness. He was a Lannister, and he knew better than anyone else, that believing a Lannister was at one’s own risk. Would he believe Tywin, when he said categorically that he had no hand in this? Was he willing to take that risk, believing his father-the most cunning Lannister alive?

For the time being, he decided not to cloud his head with these thoughts, his immediate concern was Brienne’s wellbeing and safety. His primary responsibility now was to nurse her back to health, and make sure she was well protected at all times, and he would leave no stone unturned to ensure that. The culprit would be taken to task eventually, sooner or later.

+++++

As a couple of days passed, Brienne was getting better, and Jaime found himself visiting her multiple times a day. He checked on her after every meal time, personally making sure that she had eaten, and all her needs were being looked after.

“I’m there to check on her,” Bronn assured him one day, as Jaime was about to enter her chambers “You don’t need to find excuses to come and meet her.” he smirked.

“I came to see if she needed anything.”

“At this rate, you might as well shift to her chambers.” Bronn teased “That’ll make things easier, will save you the effort of coming and going every time.”

Jaime flushed at the thought of this suggestion, but couldn’t help agree with Bronn. The man was a real pest, but he had a point. He found himself wanting to be at Brienne’s side as much as possible. Jaime was surprised with himself, he had never imagined, that he would care for someone outside his family this much. But that was all this was, and definitely not the way Bronn had assumed it to be. Brienne was not the sort of woman who would even spare a thought about marriage-and marriage with him, that was way out of bounds for her. Neither was he interested, his life belonged with Cersei. Nevertheless, these strange new developments within him had him confused, and lost in thoughts often.

Entering her room, Jaime was pleased to see that she was almost back to normal now, the colour had returned to her cheeks.

“I’m bored,” she complained “I’m well enough to go out. I want to train.”

“No,” He couldn’t allow that yet “Not until you are completely cleared by Qyburn.”

Seeing that she was about to whine about it again, he made her a suggestion “You can’t train yet, but you can watch.” a grin slowly spread across his face “Why don’t you come watch Bronn and me tomorrow?”

He looked at her eagerly, hoping this time she wouldn’t go back on her word.

“I’d love to,” she nodded, her face brightening.

+++++

Brienne had come to watch them spar, but unfortunately, it wasn’t Jaime’s day. He kept losing to Bronn, ending up on the ground every few minutes.

“You look distracted,” Brienne got up from her perch on the ledge, and walked over to them “You’re not concentrating enough, and your footwork’s all wrong,” she observed.

“He _is_ distracted, my lady,” Bronn smirked “He gets distracted when you’re _not_ around, and he is distracted even when you _are_ around.”

Jaime gave Bronn a look that suggested that there was nothing better he would like to do, than push him into the water below, never to see his stupid smirking face again. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Brienne blush a lovely pink. The colour on her face suited her. Bronn’s comments suddenly seemed worth tolerating.

“I want to have a go,” she announced “Which one of you wants to spar with me?” she  looked at both of them.

“Not me,” Bronn took a step backwards, and sat down, settling himself to watch “I’ve had enough for the day, why don’t you go for it?” he glanced at Jaime, discreetly winking at him when Brienne was not looking.

“I don’t think you are fit enough--” Jaime protested.

“Scared of me?” Brienne egged him on “Worried, that you’ll lose to me again?”

She didn’t give him a chance to reply, and attacked him immediately. He defended her blow, and was readying himself to make the next move, when she stumbled. Wanting to take advantage, he attacked, striking her on the arm. Taking the blow, she staggered backwards, about to fall. Jaime caught her quickly before she could hit the ground, and she slumped in his arms, her face pale and devoid of colour again.

Jaime immediately sensed something was wrong “Are you okay?” he looked into her eyes, concerned “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you--”

“Just a bit weak,” she whispered “Light-headed, nothing else, I’ll be fine.”

“I can carry you back to the castle, my lady,” Bronn offered “Just in case, you feel too tired to walk back.”

“No!” Jaime shouted “I can carry her,” he glared at Bronn “I’m strong enough.”

He saw Bronn hide a smirk, when Brienne rebuked them both “I can walk,” she snapped “I’m not some frail damsel-in-distress, who needs to be carried.”

They let her sit there for a while, waiting for her to gather enough strength to walk back. Jaime had his arm around her, protective and supporting. This was becoming a habit now, though he found himself not minding it at all. She rested her head on his shoulder, involuntarily snuggling close to him, winding her arms around his neck. Jaime’s heart almost came to a standstill. _Let go of her_ , his brain kept telling him, but he only wrapped his other arm around her, holding her closer. A few minutes later, as she slowly came back to normal, she seemed to be suddenly aware of his proximity, and blushed, pulling away from him abruptly.

“I’m fine now, we can move on.” she got up, ready to leave.

As they made their way back, Jaime found himself glancing at her more than once. Bronn followed his gaze, and kept throwing him dirty looks and he was only spared of him when they reached the Red Keep. Jaime was annoyed with his reaction, when Brienne had collapsed in his arms. _What was happening to him, and why was he behaving like a shy lad of fifteen, as Bronn would put it?_

*****

_“I am his, and he is mine,”_

_As Brienne spoke the words, Jaime gazed at her lovingly. He took off the red cloak that he wore, and placed it around her shoulders. His lips brushed against hers, kissing her sweetly, he tasted like heaven--_

Brienne woke up with a start, breaking into a sweat. She was alone, and in her bed. _All that was a dream_ , she blushed, the effect of the events over the last few days. She sat, wide awake, thinking about what it would be like, to marry Jaime, to be his wife. She then remembered that she had refused him, and rather rudely so. She had done nothing wrong, as she was sworn to an oath, and marriage was the last thing on her mind.

But what if, this dream indicated something-what if it was a hint from the gods, that she should’ve accepted Jaime’s proposal. It definitely wouldn’t be a real marriage-she had to go back to her vow, and he to his sister. They both had their commitments, and there was no way that they could be bound to each other for life.

Jaime had lost his hand for her, risked his life for her, and over the last few days, he had cared for her and taken care of her. He had done more for her, than anyone ever had. He had requested one favour, and she had refused him. This was the least she could do for him, and as this would only be a temporary arrangement, what could she lose? Suddenly, the prospect of being married to him, though as a sham, didn’t seem that bad an idea.

She had made up her mind.

+++++

She knew, she could find him at the Kingsguard tower. Knocking at his door, she entered, nervous and jittery at the prospect of broaching the subject.

“Brienne,” Jaime looked surprised to see her there “Something wrong?”

“No,” she said quickly “Everything’s fine, I just came to speak to you.”

He nodded, gesturing to her to go on.

“Ser Jaime, I…” she hesitated “I have decided that--”

Jaime frowned “You’re not yet completely fit,” he said firmly “You collapsed yesterday, I’ll get you out of King’s Landing, only after you are deemed fit to travel.”

“I didn’t come to speak to you about that.” Brienne felt herself blush, and looked down at her hands.

“What, then?” Jaime sounded curious now.

“About what we discussed, the day I was attacked…” _Damn, why couldn’t he take a hint about what she was trying to tell him?_

“What about that?”

Brienne was miffed. _Was he pretending not to understand? Or was he really that thick?_

“Ihavedecidedthatitwouldn’tbesuchabadideatobeyourwife.” she blurted out rapidly.

“Come again?” Jaime stared at her.

_What the hell?_

“I have decided that it would…” she spoke haltingly “...wouldn’t be that bad an idea to be your wife.” She looked down at the floor, focussing her attention on an insect, that was slowly marching away.

“Really?” he asked her in disbelief “I thought you wanted to leave--”

“I do,” she looked up at him “Assuming, all that you told me that day still holds good, and this is just a temporary arrangement. I do want to leave-to look for Sansa.”

“I promise you, my lady” he assured her “Once Tyrion is safe, I will get the marriage annulled, and assist you in finding Sansa.”

Brienne nodded “Then you have my word, Ser Jaime.”

She was about to leave the room, when he called out.

“You had firmly refused.” he said “Why did you change your mind?”

“I dreamed of you.” she said without thinking, and fled from the room, blushing furiously.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the parents day. And Brienne battles her inner conflict.

Brienne dashed to her room, and shut the door behind her. In the safe confines of her privacy, she leaned against the door, breathing heavily-partly because of the strain of running away from Jaime, and partly due to her mortification, when the full impact of their conversation hit her. _I dreamed of you? Seriously?_ Why did she have to go and admit _that_ to him? What would that have sounded like to him? He didn’t know, that she had meant it literally. _Gods, he’d now think, that she was a hopeless romantic-like all the pretty maidens he had always been surrounded by._ Anyway, she couldn’t un-say it now, all she could do was pretend that nothing ever happened.

She lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Sleep wouldn’t come, no matter how hard she tried. It was only now, that it was beginning to sink in- _she was going to be married_ . She had always been averse to the idea of marriage, but more than aversion, it was the silent acceptance, that no man would ever marry an ugly woman like her. Three failed attempts were more than sufficient to firmly implant the belief in her, that she and marriage were not made for each other. The irony of the situation hit her: of all the men in the world, she would be marrying the handsome Jaime Lannister. No doubt, this wasn’t a real marriage: Jaime didn’t love her, and she didn’t love him, but the very idea would’ve seemed incredulous, if someone had suggested it to her, when she had met Jaime for the first time. She couldn’t help recollecting his first reaction on seeing her- _Is that a woman?_ That’s what he had thought of her, and she too had detested him at first sight. They had come a long way, and endured a lot together since then.

It was well past midnight, and she needed to get some sleep. Her loudly thumping heart, that was threatening to burst out of her rib-cage wasn’t helping. She tried to calm down her nerves, but the fact that Jaime occupied her thoughts constantly, only made matters worse. As a last resort, she tried counting: one-two-three… and gradually her ceiling merged into the Sept of Baelor, and she could feel Jaime’s lips on hers, as he kissed his bride...

+++++

Brienne rose late the next morning, and when she got ready and went for breakfast, she got the feeling, that people looked at her in a different light: she was the would-be daughter-in-law of House Lannister, and that had somehow made her the focus of public attention. She felt uncomfortable with all the unwanted glare, and looked around awkwardly, desperately searching for a familiar face to divert her attention to. She felt a light tug on her arm, Jaime was pulling at her sleeve, wanting to get her away to a private corner to talk.

“Father wants to meet you.” he looked outwardly calm, but sounded apprehensive.

Brienne felt self-conscious at once. She was wearing a plain looking skirt and blouse, nothing like anything the other high-born ladies of the castle dressed in. What would her future father-in-law think of her, if she went to meet him, dressed like this?

“Should I wear something more--” she tried to find a suitable word “--appropriate?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jaime dismissed her concern “He has already made his opinion about you.”

“And…?” Brienne looked at him expectedly.

“How does it matter, what he thinks of your attire?” Jaime said in a who-cares-about-others tone “It’s not like we are getting married for real.” he reminded her “You just have to tolerate him for a few days.”

There it was, _the reality that this wasn’t real_ . Brienne sighed, the gods only knew how much, and what she would have to pretend about, in the days to come, until she was free of the marital bond, free of Jaime. _Free of Jaime_ : that sounded strange.

+++++

“Enter.” Tywin’s voice boomed, as they knocked on the door. Brienne walked in, her heart again threatening to beat louder than usual.

“Father, This is Lady Brienne of Tarth.” Jaime introduced her formally.

“Lady Brienne,” Tywin rose to meet her “I trust, that you are completely fine now.”

Despite all the reassurances that Jaime had given her, Brienne felt a bit edgy, the very presence of the commanding patriarch was enough to trigger nervousness, even in a fearsome warrior like her. She felt like a little girl in front of him.

“I’m fine, Lord Tywin,” she replied politely “Thank you.”

Tywin gave her an appraising look “So you are the one, who has managed to capture my son’s heart.” he remarked “I must commend you, no one has been able to do that yet.”

 _Captured his son’s heart?_ She turned awkwardly to Jaime, and judging by his expression, felt that he too shared her discomfiture.

“Father, I told you it’s not--”

“You’ve told me that before, son,” Tywin disregarded him “If you want me to believe that there’s nothing going on between you both, I can pretend to do that.”

From where did Tywin get such an impression? _Hells, from where did everyone get the impression that Jaime was in love with her?_ First it was Cersei, then Bronn, and now Tywin. To her knowledge, Tywin was aware of Jaime’s relationship with his sister. So then, why would he doubt anything like this?

Lannister senior's resounding voice broke into her thoughts again.

“Lady Brienne,” his eyes shot through hers like an arrow “You look like a sensible young woman to me, a bit fierce based on my standards in femininity, but I do hope, you have your head in the right place.”

Brienne gulped, not knowing how to react to the unexpected compliment, _assuming it was one_.

“I’d expect you to knock some sense into my son.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.” Brienne was confused, and looked at Jaime, who seemed to be equally clueless.

“My son has always been against the idea of marriage, and children.” Tywin explained “Fortunately, meeting you has helped cross the first hurdle.” he paused, Brienne held her breath, waiting for whatever was to come next “Now all I expect from you both, is a child, and soon, so that I may see my heir before I die.”

Brienne felt her face burn, but now that she had agreed to play along, she had no choice, but to go with the flow. She nodded, while carefully avoiding Jaime’s eyes.

“I had written to your father some days back,” Tywin said “Informing him of this alliance, and asking for his consent as well.” That took Brienne by surprise, what would her father think of Jaime?

“I presume, he’ll be here soon.” Tywin informed her “I thought, he’d want to be present for his only child’s wedding.”

+++++

“I’ll walk you to your chambers, Brienne” Jaime offered her his arm. _That was something new._

“I’m sure, I can find my way around the castle,” she refused hastily “And don’t worry, I’m not going to swoon again. I’ll be fine. I _am_ fine.”

 _Swoon?_ Where the hell did that come from? Swooning was the prerogative of pretty maidens, and not something that she would associate with herself. _What was wrong with her?_

“I don’t doubt your capability, it’s just that…” Jaime stuttered, looking slightly ruffled “I thought...now that we are officially betrothed…” he hesitated.

“Yes…?”

“I just thought, I’d like to spend some time with you.” he admitted, his face turning scarlet.

“Why would you want to do that?” she asked, her tone unintentionally harsh.

Jaime was taken aback by her bluntness “To get to know each other better,” he said softly “Since we now have to spend time together, under the same roof.”

“We’ve spent the last few months with only each other for company,” Brienne said brusquely “Snapping at each other's throats, insulting each other, and with you trying to kill me at first.” _Why was she reacting like this?_ “What more do you want to know about me?”

Jaime looked abashed “Forget it, that was a bad idea.” he said glumly, and walked away.

Brienne groaned, and immediately regretted being so caustic with him. To be honest with herself, she dreaded spending time with him. All this was a sham-the marriage, the pretence of a relationship with Jaime...everything, and it had to be treated like one. If she spent any more time with him than necessary, she feared that she might...she pushed that thought away and didn’t dare think about it further.

She recalled the way he had nursed her back to health. The lines of concern furrowing his brow, and his handsome face shadowed in worry, when he saw her for the first time after she had been attacked. She remembered those brilliant green eyes gazing at her, with unmistakable warmth in them. She couldn’t forget the safety and comfort of his arm around her shoulder, holding her close, the goosebumps that she had felt, when he wrapped his strong arm around her waist, accidentally brushing against her breast as she breathed, the feather-like touch of his fingers against hers; she blushed at these memories. She dismissed those thoughts quickly: those had been her weak moments, and she had relied on him for physical and emotional support, it had been nothing more than that. This marriage was just a friendly agreement to save a life, and that’s what it would be. _Nothing more_ , she sighed.

+++++

Lord Selwyn arrived that evening, and they went to meet him that night after supper. Brienne was slightly tense, as she would be seeing her father after years.

Selwyn Tarth looked at Jaime for a long time, studying him carefully “Ser Jaime,” he spoke finally “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine, my lord.” Jaime smiled politely. If this were a real marriage, Brienne would’ve been impressed with the effort Jaime was putting in, to impress his future father-in-law.

She waited with bated breath, wondering what her father’s opinion about her future husband would be. _Damn, why was she getting so serious about this stupid lie?_

Selwyn gave a little sigh “Can I ask you a question, Ser Jaime? And I’d appreciate an honest answer.”

“Ofcourse, my lord.”

“You do know that my daughter is--” he seemed to search for the right words “--not the conventional type of woman.” he paused “She has a different viewpoint towards life, which you are aware of, aren’t you?”

Jaime nodded, but said nothing yet.

“Taking all that into account, and your position,” Selwyn came to the point “why did you choose my daughter?”

“Because, I _want_ to marry Brienne.” Jaime gave him a plain answer.

“Why?” Selwyn insisted “You do know, that my daughter has been betrothed thrice in the past, and in each of those instances, things haven’t gone well.”

“I am aware of that, yes.” Jaime said.

“And, I hope _you_ are serious about her, ser?” Selwyn asked, a worried look flashing across his face.

“Lord Selwyn, I understand your concern for your daughter’s welfare, and--” Jaime paused for a bit, and then continued, with an intense look in his eyes “I want to marry your daughter for the simple reason, that _I’m in love with her_.”

Brienne gaped at him, shocked at his declaration. Obviously he was lying, trying to convince her father that their relationship was real, and if she continued to wear her emotions on her face like this, she might risk giving the game away. Trying not to look surprised, she closed her mouth, and attempted to control her reaction.

“The first time I met her, was under unpleasant circumstances,” Jaime went on, a smile lighting up his handsome features, as he recalled their first meeting “She hated me, and I did my best to reciprocate that. I mocked her, insulted her, and made sure that she felt inferior. I taunted her very existence as a woman.”

Selwyn gave him a confused look “You both hated each other, then how…”

“One thing led to another,” Jaime said dreamily “I saved her honour, and a certain _bear_ helped change her opinion of me. She inspired me to live on, when I was maimed. It’s because of your daughter, that I’m alive today.”

Brienne stared at him, thinking to what extent he would go on.

“I fell in love with her,” he continued, his eyes shining with emotion “I don’t know when, but slowly and surely, she did manage to find her way into my heart, and she’s the only woman I’d ever want to spend my life with.” he took a deep breath “I love your daughter, my lord, and I seek your consent to make her my wife.”

_Jaime was good at lying convincingly, she had to give him credit for that._

Selwyn smiled at him “You have my consent, ser, and I wish that you both make each other very happy,” he sounded pleased “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to speak to my daughter alone.”

Brienne was speechless at Jaime’s fake, but compelling declaration of love for her, and wondered what the repercussions of that could be. Why did her father want to speak to her? Wasn’t Jaime’s made-up love story convincing enough?

Jaime nodded, and left the room. Selwyn Tarth turned to his daughter.

“I see sincerity in him,” he observed “And he loves you. I can see it in his eyes, but what about you?” he asked his daughter “You were never for marriage, then why this change of heart? Do you love him?”

“More than my life, Father,” Brienne felt a lump in her throat “And, more than I could ever love anyone.” she found it difficult to speak “He saved me, in ways no one else could ever have.”

“I’ve already given him my consent, but his reputation is questionable, the rumours about his sister...” Selwyn sounded doubtful.

“I don’t care about his reputation, Father,” Brienne said “I love him, that’s all matters to me.”

“I hope he deserves you, my child.”

Brienne felt tears prick the corner of her eyes “Isn’t that a bit inappropriate coming from you? You once wanted to get me married to an old man.” she said accusingly, trying to blink back her tears.

“I did,” her father sighed “And thinking about it now, I regret it, and I’m glad it didn’t work out. Jaime Lannister seems to be a much better match for you. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.”

+++++

“What was all that about?” Brienne demanded, when they were alone, and he was walking her back to her chambers.

“What have I done now?” Jaime said in a surprised tone “And, why are you looking at me like this?”

“That long _story_ that you told my father,” she glowered at him “About how you love me, was all that really required?”

“If we are doing this, we might as well do it properly.” he said “We have to convince people that this is serious, that _we_ ,” he pointed to both of them “are serious about each other.”

“That was a really convincing lie you came up with,” Brienne said sarcastically “I almost believed it myself.”

Jaime let out a low whistle “That was the idea. I’m a Lannister. If there’s one thing we Lannisters are good at, its lying. We do it well.”

He had completely missed the sarcasm in her tone. She mentally chided herself for her reaction. He had done nothing wrong, and he had a point. They had to be convincing, if they had to pass off as a married couple. That long speech that he gave her father--for a moment she believed that he-- _how naive of her!_ She had forgotten, for that one whole minute, that none of this was real.

“I get what you say,” she said brusquely “But the next time you attempt something like this, would you mind downplaying it a bit?”

“What do you mean?”

“I meant, _don’t overact!_ ” she snapped “Who knows, you’ll be reciting love poems to the next person we meet, and singing songs about my beauty!” she fumed.

“Oh, you can rest assured, wench, I’d never sing songs about your _beauty_ ,” Jaime snorted with laughter.

“There you are, the old _you_ again,” she burst out angrily “I know quite well, that I’m the ugliest wench alive, and you’ve done enough in the past to convey that to me, thank you.”

“Brienne, I didn’t mean it that way. I just--” he gave her an exasperated look.

“I know exactly what you meant,” she said, her eyes shooting daggers at him “You _hated_ me then, didn’t you?”

“So did you,” he raised his voice now “You called me an honourless oathbreaker, remember?” he said defensively “And anyway, what has any of this have to do with what I said to your father?”

“You were exaggerating,” Brienne said “About something there isn’t, something that can never happen between us!”

“Yes, I did exaggerate,” Jaime shouted “And it helped the cause, your father believed me. So what’s the harm in that? It’s not as if, any of this is true--”

“Precisely,” she snapped “None of this is true, and could never be!”

“Yes, and I don’t see any problem in a lie that’s harmless.” he sounded impatient “You’re the one making a big issue about it. So, stop over-reacting.”

“There’s a thin line between putting up a show, and playing with someone’s feelings.” she glared at him “And thanks to you, I had to lie to my father as well.”

“And why does that upset you so much?” he studied her for a moment “I just wanted to make sure, your father felt good about our match. That’s the reason I lied. All I wanted to do, was impress him. My intention was never to trifle with _his_ feelings...”

 _Gods, he was such an idiot_ . Brienne didn’t wait for him to finish, she rushed to her room and shut the door behind her. Tears were threatening to fill her eyes again, and she didn’t want him to see them. The only way to tackle this, was to close her heart to this whole damn deal, and keep reminding herself - _none of this was real_ , he loved Cersei, and he was only doing this for his brother, and she had her vow to return to. She wanted her way out of this mess at the earliest. She hoped, that she could get away from Jaime as soon as possible, and carry on with her mission to find Sansa. That’s what she had dedicated her life to, and that’s how her life would be. She couldn’t let minor distractions like Jaime Lannister deter her from her goal.

 

*****

 

Jaime was once again sprawled on hard ground, rubbing his back and grunting in pain.

“I’m beginning to feel guilty,” Bronn said “I’m not justifying the gold you pay me, and if this is the kind of progress you continue showing, you’ll be worse than a nine year old with a sparring sword.”

Jaime wasn’t even listening to him, his mind was elsewhere, thinking about Brienne’s reaction last night. What had he done to upset her so much? All he wanted to do, was play the role of a good fake son-in-law in front of her father. Hence the long winding story about how he fell in love with her.

Bronn had given up on him, and sat down, staring at him.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” he frowned at Jaime “It’s about _her_ again, isn’t it?”

Jaime sighed, he was in no mood to bear the brunt of Bronn’s mockery today. The man however, seemed to read his mind.

“Go on, spit it out,” he urged “You’ll feel better. I promise, I won’t make fun of you.”

Jaime found himself telling Bronn about the entire events of the previous day. When he was done, Bronn have him a long hard look.

“You confessed your _love_ to your father-in-law?” he finally asked Jaime.

“I did not _confess_ anything,” Jaime corrected him “I made up a story, so that I could make this sound authentic, and not like some made-up contract wedding.”

“Story?” Bronn repeated “Seriously? I don’t think, even the world’s best storyteller could come up with such a heartfelt tale, unless there was an element of truth to it.”

Jaime shook his head “A story was all it was,” he insisted “I don’t know why Brienne took it so seriously, and got all upset and teary-eyed about it.”

“You’re such a cunt, aren’t you!” Bronn exclaimed in disbelief “I don’t blame the lady, and unless you…”

“What?”

“Never mind,” Bronn shrugged “Nothing that I say, is going to open your eyes to the truth. So I’ll just sit back, and wait for it to unfold for the world to see, and for you to realize.”

“I don’t understand--” but Bronn had already left, leaving Jaime alone with his conflicting and confusing thoughts.

+++++

There were still three days to go for the wedding, and Brienne seemed to be avoiding him as much as possible. He pondered Bronn’s words, but none of it made any sense to him. Why should Brienne be affected so much by his lies? Was it because, a principled woman like her couldn’t stand the idea of a lie? In his heart of hearts, he wished...but, no, it could never happen, he had Cersei, and Brienne had her vows. Even if she wasn’t bound by any oath, Jaime was beginning to get the feeling these days, that she had started hating him again-just like the good old days of their past, when they couldn’t stand each other. The cold fact: she was just tolerating him for the sake of his brother.

He walked past her room, lost in these thoughts, when he noticed that the door was slightly ajar. He heard an array of female voices coming from in there, and out of curiosity peered through the gap in the door. _The sight made him gasp._

Brienne was trying out her wedding dress-a lovely blue gown, made of rich silk and lace, embellished with tiny sapphire-like stones sewn into the fabric, each of them bringing out her astonishing eyes. The seamstresses were buzzing around her, taking measurements, and making notes for alterations.

Jaime gulped. She looked--he was at a loss for words--not beautiful, but elegant, not perfect, but certainly _desirable_ . He found himself staring, and his eyes fell on her neckline. The gown was a flawless fit, highlighting her curves in all the right places. He had seen her in the Harrenhal bath, but had been too delirious to take note of finer details then. And ever since, she had always hidden herself in ill-fitting clothes and armours. But this was...well, this was now becoming a growing problem for him. He groaned, suddenly hit by an inexplicable ache in his heart, and to his dismay, _in other places_ too. Tearing his eyes off her, he hurried to his bedchamber in embarrassment, ashamed of his reaction, and with the painful realization that this was going to be a long and lonely night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once I finished this chapter, I was like - Gods, what have I written!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding (and what comes after)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is an excuse for me to write fluff and UST (busloads of it). So be warned!

“Ser Jaime, can I have a word?” Varys approached him, the usual aura of enigma surrounding him.

“Yes, Lord Varys,” Jaime said, thinking what the spider could probably want from him.

“I have news,” he whispered “Something that may be of significance to you.”

Jaime had his own reservations about Varys. These days, he was unsure, who to trust and who not to, and Varys had a questionable reputation in this matter. Ned Stark had trusted him, and it was a well known fact how it had ended for him. But there was no harm in hearing him out. He could always decide, if he wanted to believe the eunuch or not.

“Go on,” Jaime prompted him, deciding that he would take the spider’s words with a pinch of salt.

“My birds heard something,” he said dramatically “A conversation between your father and your sister.”

“And?” Jaime was puzzled, how this might be of any relevance. Father and daughter were surely allowed to chat.

“Your sister is desperate to sabotage your marriage,” Varys disclosed “And, she is ready to go to the vilest possible extreme to achieve what she wants.”

Somehow, Jaime wasn’t surprised. He had been anticipating some form of retaliation from Cersei. He gestured to Varys to go on.

“She plans to have her maid spy on you and your bride, on your wedding night, to find out if-how shall I put it,” Varys looked slightly embarrassed “if you consummate your wedding or not.”

Well, that was something Jaime had not expected.

“Presumably, she has enough reason to believe that your marriage is a sham,” Varys went on “No more than an agreement between you and Lady Brienne to save your brother.”

“Why would she need to go to that level?” Jaime wondered aloud “I was myself planning to--” he was about to say ‘annul the wedding and go back to Cersei eventually’, but restrained himself. Revealing too much to this man didn’t seem very  prudent.

“And what if I don’t--” Jaime paused, a little unsettled now “--do it?”

“She has poisoned your father’s mind, that if you don’t comply, he would never have his heirs,” Varys explained “Lord Tywin has started doubting the credibility of this marriage, although you‘ve given him your word. And if I’m right, he knows, that you agreed to marry her only to keep her away from danger. That might make matters worse for you both.”

“Repercussions?” Jaime asked him, wanting to get to the point. He couldn’t have Varys talking in riddles.

“Let’s just say, your Lady Brienne is in danger,” Varys cleared his throat “Unless you do what your father expects you to.”

+++++

Bronn sat down next to him “What’s your excuse today?” he asked, breaking the long silence “Still pining for your woman?”

“Why would I pine for her?” Jaime counter-questioned him in irritation.

“Aye,” Bronn agreed “I forgot, you don’t need to anymore. Tomorrow, she’ll be your wife.”

Jaime looked at the ground, dejected, thinking how to circumvent the problem Varys had highlighted. “It’s a new problem this time,” he mumbled “And no, I’m not pining for her, Not today.”

“Ah, so you’ve been pining for her all these days,” Bronn teased “Except _today_.” When he saw that Jaime was still looking forlorn, he pressed him to speak up.

“What is it this time?”

“Cersei.” Jaime divulged.

“Tell me something new.” Bronn muttered. But looking at Jaime’s face, he became serious.

“She has threatened to expose the marriage.” Jaime said “She wants to prove to my father, that all this is a lie.”

“And, how does she plan to do that?”

“Brienne’s new handmaiden,” Jaime made a sour face “She’s apparently Cersei’s spy.”

“And what harm is that going to cause?” Bronn asked him, sounding confused.

“She’s been instructed to…” Jaime swallowed, his face growing hot.

“ _What?_ ” Bronn was suddenly very interested, and looked at Jaime intently. Uncomfortable Jaime always seemed to have Bronn’s full attention.

“Cersei wants to find out, if I consummate the wedding or not.” Jaime looked away from Bronn in embarrassment.

“Ooh, that’s interesting” Bronn whistled loudly “I don’t see a problem here.”

“That _is_ the problem, Bronn.” Jaime said in exasperation.

“Do it, then.” Bronn sniggered “Simple solution.”

“Do what?” Jaime asked, though he knew what the answer would be.

“Fuck her,” Bronn replied in a matter-of-fact tone “I know for sure, that’s what you want, and if I’m right about her, she feels the same about you.”

Jaime looked scandalized “And, what makes you think so?” Despite the sticky situation, he wanted to know why Bronn thought so.

“It’s obvious,” Bronn shrugged “The way you look at her.”

“I need a solution to my problem, Bronn,” Jaime tried to keep calm “I don’t want to be beaten up by my wife on our wedding night.”

“Ah, so you do _want_ to fuck her,” Bronn smirked “You’re just worried, how she might react.”

“That was not what I meant.” Jaime replied indignantly, unsure, whether he was being completely truthful to Bronn “And that’s not all, there’s one more problem.”

“I don’t think most of your problems are problems at all,” Bronn remarked “It just depends on how you want to look at them.”

“Brienne has been behaving strangely off late,” Jaime sighed “She makes sure, she doesn’t cross paths with me. How am I supposed to make people believe that we’re a couple in love?”

“I don’t think you need to put much effort in that,” Bronn muttered “One look at your face when she’s around, and it’s as clear as the sky above.”

Jaime ignored his jibes “How do I get her to pretend?”

“Woo her,” Bronn advised “Hold her hand, compliment her, and most importantly-be nice to her.”

Jaime burst out laughing “It’s Brienne we’re talking about. Conventions aren’t going to work with her.” he said “If I do all that, there’s a bright chance, I’d end up with my other hand broken as well.”

“Why do you jump into conclusions?” Bronn chided him “I get the feeling that deep down she’s like any other woman. Try it out.”

“Alright,” Jaime agreed “No harm in that, and it’s not as if either of us is serious about it. It’s just an act.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that too. It’s just a matter of time.” Bronn quipped, as Jaime gave him a warning look.

“Coming back to what we were talking about,” Jaime looked uncomfortable again “How do I solve this wedding-night problem?”

“There’s one more way,” Bronn said thoughtfully “Fake it.”

“But that would be,” Jaime made a face “Disgusting.”

“Yeah, but no choice,” Bronn nodded in agreement “Though, I’d go for the real thing if I were you!”

“How do I fake it?” Jaime pushed aside thoughts of what the _real thing_ would be like.

“I don’t think, I need to tell you that, do I?” Bronn said, giving him a pained look.

Jaime groaned. Brienne was going to hate him for this. She already ensured she kept away from him, this would make matters worse for him. But, he still had a day to think about getting around this peculiar problem. He dared not confide in her about this, not just yet.

+++++

The entire day, Jaime did his best to follow Bronn’s advice. He constantly followed Brienne around, and kept throwing her warm and loving glances whenever they were in the midst of people, much to her indignation and embarrassment.

They had gathered at the family table for lunch, and Jaime promptly took the seat to Brienne’s right. He finished his meal, and when no one was watching, he deliberately dropped Brienne’s napkin to the floor. She bent down to pick it up, and he too followed suit, crouching down next to her. He quickly grasped her right hand, taking her by surprise.

Brienne blushed a deep pink as she met his eyes, wordlessly pleading with him to let go of her hand. He winked at her, and got back up to his chair, with her being forced to get up with him, as he still held her hand. She emerged from under the table, her face blazing like the setting sun, and her right hand still in Jaime’s custody.

He realized, that she could’ve easily used her left hand to free herself, but only held back, due to the crowd of people at the table. She sat still for a full two minutes, staring at her plate, embarrassed, her food untouched, wondering what to do.

“Don’t you like the food, Brienne?” Jaime asked her innocently.

“I do,” she mumbled, looking as if she would murder the food. He was reminded of the time they had dined with Roose Bolton, she would have almost killed Bolton in a fit of anger, had he not held her hand like this. The memory made him smile.

“Then, why don’t you eat?” he asked her, with the mischievous smile still on his lips, giving her hand a light squeeze under the table.

With great difficulty, Brienne resumed eating with her left hand, awkward and clumsy. Jaime was torn between amusement, and a fit of attraction for her.

Margaery was quick to note this “Lady Brienne!” she exclaimed “Why are you eating with your left hand?”

Brienne looked uncomfortable, searching for an explanation, but Jaime had decided to come to her rescue.

“She does it for me, my lady,” he said, throwing Brienne a loving gaze “She’s training her left hand too, so that she could keep me company. We train together.”

“Why, that’s so sweet,” Margaery purred “You both are so much in love.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jaime could see Cersei’s death stare targeted at Brienne. Tywin gave his son a look of disapproval at the public display of affection, and Tommen looked disinterested. Margaery was the only one who was enjoying this.

Brienne continued eating clumsily until she was finally done, and a look of relief came over her face. Deciding it was time relieve her of her agony, Jaime finally let go of her hand. Brienne glared at him, and if looks could kill, Jaime would be dead by now.

After lunch, it was time for a walk, and when they were finally alone, Brienne pounced on him.

“What the hell, do you think you were doing earlier?” she clenched her teeth in anger.

“Holding your hand.” Jaime replied, his eyes wide and soulful “Last I knew, holding your intended’s hand wasn’t a crime, was it?”

“Stop taking this seriously.” Brienne lashed out at him.

“We better _start_ taking this seriously,” Jaime said softly “If we want to make these people believe.”

“Why are you so keen on making others believe?” Brienne argued “How does it matter?”

“It matters, because if I don’t, then my father will doubt this to be fake,” Jaime breathed deeply “And if he does, then it poses a big danger to Tyrion--” he was about to say ‘--and you’, but stopped himself.

“Fine!” Brienne threw up her hands in resignation “What do you want me to do? _Kiss you,_ every time someone walks by?”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Jaime blurted out, then immediately regretted his words, looking at Brienne’s eyes widening in shock.

“I mean…” he stammered “Just play along, alright? And when I do _this_ ,” he took her hand, and kissed her knuckles, gazing deeply into her eyes “don’t pull away from me, just go with me.”

Brienne took a deep breath, lowering her lashes at once, averting her eyes from his gaze.

“That’s it, that was perfect.” he said, smiling “That’s the reaction people want to see, a blushing bride. Keep up this act every time.”

“Excuse me,” she pulled her hand away, sounding agitated.

“Brienne--”

She didn’t wait to hear him out, and hurried away, leaving him wondering-what did he do wrong this time?

 

*****

 

The rest of the day had been mostly uneventful for Brienne (if she didn’t count the wedding gown trial again today, which turned out to be a nightmare). She hated dresses, but she couldn’t go to her own wedding wearing her tunics, so she had to endure this torture. But thankfully it was over soon, and she was free to retire for the night. It was only during bedtime, that a million thoughts flashed through her mind, all at once haunting her, depriving her of sleep as usual.

 _What the hell had he been thinking, trivializing her feelings like this?_ Brienne was angry and hurt with the way Jaime had behaved today. For him, making a show of his so-called love for her might be simple, but had it even occurred to him, how much each word of his, and each little touch affected her? As if, that declaration of love in front of her father didn’t suffice! And what was he thinking, kissing her hand like that?

A shiver ran through her - Tomorrow was their wedding, and he would kiss her, he would _actually, and properly kiss her!_ The thought was enough to get her agitated and confused. When she had first agreed to this wedding, little did she know that this would be turn out to be such an emotionally taxing experience for her.

The only solution to this, would be to deal with it rationally, without getting emotionally involved with anything that he said, or did. The trial was just two days away, and once that was over, Tyrion would be free, which meant, she would be free to go her way. She made up her mind, that for the next few days, she would do as Jaime requested. Offering resistance only made things difficult for both of them. Keeping away from him didn’t seem to help either. It only made her think of him more than usual.

_Just a few more days, and then she hoped, she would never see Jaime Lannister again in her life._

+++++

Brienne was up early the next morning, having hardly slept. So this was what pre-wedding jitters were like! A girl knocked on her door, and announced herself as her new handmaiden. Brienne was used to doing things herself, but as Lady Lannister, she would have to get used to all this. _Just a few more days,_ she kept reminding herself, to keep the nervousness away.

The day went by rather quickly, and it was almost evening now. The ceremony was to start in sometime, and Brienne had to get dressed. Stepping out of the bath, she reached out for the towel on her bed, wrapping it around her, and waited for her handmaiden to bring her the gown. There was a knock on the door, thinking it might be her handmaiden, she called out to her to come in.

Brienne froze, as the door opened. It was Jaime, and here she was, clad in nothing but a towel that was barely sufficient to cover even a fraction of her. He stood at the door, staring at her.

“What are you going here?” she shrieked in panic, tightening the towel around her.

“I...um…” he seemed tongue-tied.

“Well, what?” she demanded. If he lingered on for another minute, she’d drop dead in shame.

“I came to talk to you.” he seemed to have finally found his voice.

“Can’t it wait?” she hissed “I’m dressing.”

“I can see that.” he nodded, looking at her from top to toe, which sent a shiver through her body “Why did you let me in, then?”

“I didn’t know, it was _you_ ,” she squeaked, clutching the towel tighter to her chest, desperately wanting to cover herself as much as possible “I thought it was my maid, she was supposed to bring the gown for me. Is it important?”

Jaime didn’t answer her, he was staring at her legs, which unfortunately the towel was unable to cover. Brienne nervously shifted her weight from one foot to another, frantically hoping for him to leave.

“Is it important?” she repeated, this time, her voice louder than before.

“I came to talk to you about the--” he hesitated “--bedding ceremony.”

Brienne’s blood turned cold. _The bedding ceremony!_ The biggest embarrassment a married couple could ever face. She had completely forgotten about the wedding night.

“I’ve decided that there _won’t_ be a bedding ceremony, I don’t approve of this practice...” his tone softened “I can’t have you stripped and embarrassed for no fault of yours. Hells, this is not even a real marriage. And...”

He lowered his eyes.

“...My apologies to have barged in on you, at such an inappropriate moment.” Having said that, he turned towards the door.

“Ser Jaime,” Brienne called out, touched by his gesture “Thank you.”

“Call me Jaime,” he insisted “In front of others at least, you’ll be my wife soon.”

+++++

They had gathered at the Sept of Baelor at dusk, where the ceremony was to begin. Jaime was wearing a doublet of red Lannister velvet adorned with golden embroidery. _He looked more handsome than ever._ Brienne wasn’t staring at all - not at his well defined cheekbones, his chiseled features, his oddly shaped nose, which only made him all the more attractive, his bright green eyes, his stubble - she liked seeing him in a beard. _No, she wasn’t staring_. The demure bride that she was supposed to be, she averted her eyes from her handsome groom.

Her father led her to the altar, and the Septon began saying his words, binding their hands together. Jaime placed his red cloak on her shoulder, though she had to help him with it-managing it one handed was difficult for him. It was finally time for them to take their vows.

“I am hers, and she is mine.” she heard him say his words, as she said hers.

They were married. Jaime was her husband. He leaned into her tentatively, hesitating at first, but when he saw that she didn’t attempt to pull away, he kissed her, a slight brush of his lips against hers. But before she could react or kiss him back, he broke the kiss. That light touch was enough to distract her. Never had she been kissed before, and never had she imagined, that it would be Jaime Lannister who would be her first, and probably her last kiss. She sighed, immediately reminding herself that _this wasn’t real._

+++++

The crowd had dispersed, and the wedding feast was over. It was almost midnight, and Brienne was finally alone with Jaime in his bedchambers-her chambers now. This was the part, that she had dreaded the most, despite his assurances. _Damn, this was going to be awkward._

They both sat in complete silence: he, perched at the edge of his sprawling bed, and she, nervously twiddling her thumbs, sitting on the chair in his room. After a while, Jaime got up and walked to his table. He pulled out his sword, and handed it to her. Brienne forgot her awkwardness, and got up, taking the sword in her hand. His fingers brushed against hers as she took it from him.

“Valyrian steel,” she exclaimed.

“Hmm,” he nodded “It’s yours--”

“I can’t accept it--”

“It was re-forged from Ned Stark’s blade. You’ll use it to defend Ned Stark’s daughter,” he said solemnly, looking into her eyes “Arya’s probably dead, but Sansa might still be alive.”

Overwhelmed, and unable to speak, she accepted the sword. “I’ll find her, for Lady Catelyn...” she looked shyly at him “And for you.”

He nodded, blushing slightly at her response “They say, the best swords have names,” he prompted “Any ideas?”

She looked at him for a second, already having made her decision _“Oathkeeper.”_

He gave her a long lingering look, before he spoke again “There’s one more thing, my lady,” he said “This is going to be uncomfortable for both of us,” he warned, his face flushing with embarrassment.“

_Gods, what was it now?_

“My sister, wants us to…” he began, but was unable to proceed “Your handmaiden is her spy. She’s been sent here by Cersei to find out if we--”

“If we...what?” Brienne dreaded the answer.

“We have to consummate the wedding,” Jaime blurted out “If we don’t, Cersei will make sure that my father knows that this marriage is a fake. The girl will be here early morning to check, under the pretext of changing the sheets. And when she checks the sheets, she’ll come to know if--” Jaime abruptly looked away from her.

Brienne was filled with horror, the prospect of... She didn’t want to even think of it.

Jaime noticed her discomfort “Don’t worry,” he said gently “We have time until dawn. I’ll think of something. We won’t have to…”

She nodded, going back to her perch on the chair, and once again a heavy silence filled the air. For a long time, she sat there, deep in thought, wondering how she had managed to get herself in such a tricky situation, when she heard Jaime cough loudly. He had been trying to attract her attention for quite a while.

She turned to him, and saw that he was struggling madly with his clothes.

“I need a bath,” he mumbled, fumbling with the buttons on his doublet “Can I get some help here?”

“How do you normally manage?” Brienne narrowed her eyes.

“I have a squire to help me,” Jaime said “but tonight, you’re supposed to be one undressing me--” he flushed “Well, no squire or servant to my rescue tonight. No one’s going to knock on our door until morning.” he sighed.

Brienne slowly walked to him and began unbuttoning his jacket. She could feel his eyes on her, and that made her clumsy and fidgety. Wanting to get it over with quickly, she tried to hasten the task, leaning into him, wanting to get the stupid garment off his shoulders, when one of the sapphires on her gown got entangled in the gold threads of his jacket. She fiddled with it frantically, trying to undo the knot, but it only got entangled further. _Damn, these fancy dresses!_ Her frustration made her all the more blundering and ungainly, and when she tried to roughly pull away from him in panic, thinking that it would release the knot, he caught her wrist, and pulled her close to him.

“You’ll end up ruining your gown, as well as my jacket,” he whispered, his mouth close to her ear “Do it carefully,” he released her wrist. She could feel his breath on her face, as she finally succeeded in her mission. She took the doublet off him, and then went on to unbutton his shirt. She gulped, trying not to look at his broad, well toned chest specked with just the right amount of hair, and his flat abdomen. She tried to keep her fingers as far away as possible from his strong muscular arms. Her hands moved towards his trousers, when he caught her wrist again.

“I think, I can manage that.” he said hoarsely, and proceeded to yank his trousers off his legs, as she hastily turned around to look away.

Brienne sat down on the bed, her head in her hands. Her heart was racing, a million beats per second, and she felt an unfamiliar ache in her groin. This was wrong. _Remember Sansa, and remember your oath, and remember he loves Cersei_ , she kept telling herself. She closed her eyes, trying to diffuse the tension within her, but all she could see was a vision of Jaime, bare chested, and achingly handsome.

Jaime walked out of the bath, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. His skin looked fresh and moist, with beads of water droplets still clinging to his arms and his chest. His hair was dripping wet, and she felt a sudden urge to pull that towel off his waist, and wipe his hair dry.

“Can you help me out with a robe?” he asked her, trying to rummage through his shelf. Searching through his clothes, she handed him a robe, and turned her back to him again, as he got into it.

“I’m ready for bed,” he announced “What about you? Don’t you want to change?”

Brienne suddenly realized that her maid had deliberately skipped getting her clothes and other belongings to Jaime’s room, despite having been instructed to do so. She was in a fix.

“I don’t have anything to change into,” she bit her lip “I suppose, I’ll just have to sleep in this.” she looked down at her gown.

“You can take the bed,” Jaime offered “While I’ll just--”

“No,” Brienne said quickly “I trust you.”

 

*****

 

_She was writhing beneath him, as his fingers explored her, deeper and deeper. He devoured her lips, biting and nibbling at her tongue, as she too kissed him back hungrily._

_“Jaime, please,” she moaned, begging him to take her, pleading with him for her release._

_Unable to take it any longer, he thrust into her, two thrusts until he was completely in, his lips crashing into hers again, and his hand running all over her gloriously naked skin, as they moved together, slowly at first, then faster--_

Jaime woke up with a start, breathing heavily, sweat beading his forehead. _Thank the Gods, it was just a dream!_ Brienne was still on the bed, fully clothed, and fast asleep. The image of her, when he had seen her earlier, was etched in his mind. No matter how hard he tried, he was unable to erase that sight-Brienne wearing only a towel, dripping wet, her skin, warm, moist and glowing from the hot bath. He had seen her in much less, in Harrenhal, but this was different. This was pure torture. He attempted to distract himself, trying to think of Cersei, but all he could see was Brienne standing in front of him-wet and almost naked. He found himself growing hard again.

To his embarrassment, he found that his robe was wet, though Brienne was a dream, those thrusts were definitely real. He had relieved himself during his glorious dream, spilling on the bed. What would Brienne think of him? He groaned, and getting off the bed, he plonked himself on the chair, not trusting himself to lie down next to her again.

+++++

When he woke, it was nearly dawn, his stump ached due to the uncomfortable posture of falling asleep on the chair, with his right arm supporting his head. He got up, stretched himself, and went over to Brienne. She looked so peaceful, almost angelic, as she was asleep. But the maid would be in anytime soon, and he had to do something before that.

“Brienne,” he shook her awake “Brienne, get up.”

As she groggily rose, he pulled out a shirt from his closet and threw it to her, getting a blank stare from her in response.

“You need to get undressed quickly,” Jaime instructed her “If the maid sees you, still fully dressed, Cersei’s won, and I can’t let that happen. You can wear my shirt for the time being.”

“I can’t wear that,” she hissed “That’s only one half of clothing.”

Jaime smiled “I’m afraid, that’s all you will have to make do with. A newly _bedded_ bride…” he cleared his throat “is not expected to be fully clothed, when she’s in bed with her husband on her wedding night.”

“Turn around,” she said sharply.

Jaime turned his back to her, allowing her to change. Once she was done, he couldn’t tear his eyes off her. _This was worse than the damn towel._ She was taller than him, so the shirt barely covered her butt, only just. He took in her long and shapely thighs and calf muscles, her smooth skin, and his eyes fell to her chest, the outline of her breasts was visible through the opening in the shirt. He was once again going to be in trouble, if he didn’t stop looking at her like that.

He breathed deeply, trying to bring back his attention to the problem at hand. He took out a dagger from his desk.

“What are you doing?” Brienne asked him in alarm.

“Drawing a few drops of blood,” he said, embarrassed “We need to smear the sheet with it to make it look as if--”

“But my Septa said, not all women bleed the first time.”

Jaime nodded in agreement “But we cannot afford to give them any room for doubt. Better safe than sorry”. He was about to prick his stump, when Brienne snatched the knife from him.

“It should be me,” she said, pricking her finger and smearing the blood on the pristine beige sheets “After all, it’s my blood that’s expected to be here.”

If the maid came for the sheets, she would be more than convinced, that he had fucked his wife.

And his plan worked. The handmaiden took one look at them-Jaime in his robe, and Brienne clad in nothing, but his borrowed shirt, blushing pink all over. The blood stain, and the other dark stain caused by him last night only confirmed her view on the matter, and she left the room, disappointed, and probably worried about Cersei’s reaction.

So far so good. Today was the trial, and if all went well, Tyrion would be free, and Brienne could go her way. That last thought made Jaime’s heart weigh heavier than usual, as it dawned on him that he would never see his wench again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for having the patience to read thru this-this turned out to be a jumbo chapter. I just kept writing and writing, and unfortunately it never ended!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial, and its repercussions on our couple.

It was only when the handmaiden had finally left, satisfied that Brienne was no longer a virgin, that Jaime heaved a huge sigh of relief. Brienne was sitting on the edge of the bed, clutching the left side of her neck in pain. As soon as she saw Jaime look in her direction, she quickly straightened her shirt, and wiped the grimace of her face, clearly attempting to hide something from him.

But he was too quick for her, he sprang to her side, and reached out for her shirt, when she jerked away from him.

“What is it, Brienne?” he asked sternly.

“Nothing, it’s just,” she said, wincing “I’m fine, it’s nothing that I can’t manage.”

He frowned, when he saw that an ugly blood stain had spread across the shirt.

“No, you’re not,” he pried the shirt open slightly to examine her neck. She made a feeble attempt to push him away, but to no avail, there was no way he was going to let her suffer. The wound that the fight with the bear had given her was bleeding again. It looked raw and sore, and she was clearly in pain. “How did this happen?” he inquired, studying the extent of the injury.

“When I was taking off the wedding gown,” she said “One of the stones on the stupid dress cut through it.”

Jaime went to a shelf, and got a bottle of medicine and a cloth. He wet the cloth first and sat down next to her “Take the shirt off,” he ordered her “I’ll clean the wound, and dress it, so that it doesn’t worsen.”

“Will not take the shirt off,” Brienne countered indignantly. She tried to reach out for the bottle in his hand “I can do it myself, or I’ll ask the maid to help me--”

“No you can’t,” Jaime was adamant. _Stupid, stubborn wench_ “Don’t worry, I won’t--” he said, as he tried to guess the probable cause of her reluctance “--Look at you,” he finished lamely.

Brienne didn’t take the shirt off, but only opened the first two buttons-enough for him to push the sleeve off her shoulder, and reach her neck. She sat still, he could sense her body stiffen with tension, and her breaths came out short and sharp- _was it because of his proximity?_ Jaime himself was breathing rapidly, and as much as he wanted to resist, he couldn’t help sneak a furtive glance through the open buttons. He could clearly see her breasts, and once again he felt a stir in his groin. When he had seen her in Harrenhal, he had concluded, that she had meagre breasts. Now, it was evident that he had not observed her properly then. Anything, but _meagre_ , not _ample_ -if he had to put it correctly-but definitely not inadequate either.

Shaking himself up to concentrate on what he was doing, he began cleaning the wound, taking care not to hurt her. When his fingers touched her skin, he couldn’t help noting, that for a big strong woman like her, she had unbelievably soft and delicate skin. _What would his mouth feel like, on her supple neck_?

She flinched at his touch, which jolted him back to reality. These disturbing thoughts were the result of his stupid dream last night, nothing else, and he resolved to consciously get rid of them.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, worried, seeing the expression on her face.

She shook her head, her face and neck colouring crimson at his touch. When had finally finished cleaning the wound, and dabbing a bit of the medicine on it, he let go of her.

“Thank you,” she said, pulling the shirt back up.

+++++

The trial had been a fiasco, Tyrion had refused to plead guilty, and had demanded trial by combat. Jaime went to meet his brother in the dungeon.

“I made a deal for you, to keep your ungrateful head on your ungrateful neck.” Jaime chided his brother in frustration.

Tyrion justified his decision, saying that he was unwilling to accept the punishment to live and die at the wall, for a crime that he did not commit. He rambled on, about Shae, and how much her lie had affected him. His brother had been foolish enough to fall in love with a whore.

“That deal you made, it was everything father wanted,” he told Jaime, his voice dripping with contempt “You do see that, he gets you back as his heir, the future Lord of the Rock.”

Jaime looked at him, silent, allowing him to vent out his feelings.

“He ships me out to Castle Black, out of his sight, at last. It felt good to take that from him.” Tyrion burst out “He knows I’m innocent, and he’s still willing to sacrifice me--”

“He’s willing to sacrifice any of us--”

“Not you,” Tyrion snapped “You’re the golden son. You can kill a king, lose a hand, fuck your own sister--”

“Careful,” Jaime tried not to lose his temper “I’m the last friend you’ve got.”

They sat there for a few minutes in silence, then Tyrion spoke again.

“I survived one trial by combat, even though you weren’t there to save me.” he tried to sound confident “I can survive this time as well.”

“I can’t save you this time, either,” Jaime said sadly.

“Who does Cersei plan on naming as her champion?”

A look of quiet understanding passed between the brothers, which seemed to have answered Tyrion’s question.

+++++

“Congratulations on your new wife,” Cersei said coldly. Jaime was heading back after meeting Tyrion, when she had accosted him. She followed him to his chambers, under the pretext of wanting to talk to him.

“I’m sorry, your pact with father didn’t work as you had intended it to.” she looked smug “Trust our little brother to mess up everything. Had he pleaded guilty, things would’ve been so much simpler. Such a pity isn’t it? You take so much effort for him, and he--”

“Cersei,” Jaime interrupted “I’m beginning to get the feeling, that you would’ve had him killed anyway. I don’t completely blame him for his outburst. And I’ve told you a million times, I don’t believe, that he killed Joffrey.”

“This is your _wife_ speaking, isn’t it?” Cersei said spitefully “One night of passion, and she has already begun to mess with your ideals.”

“Brienne has nothing to do with any of this,” Jaime jumped up defensively “She agreed to marry me, not because she loves me, but because--”

“Wasn’t last night a proof, that she loves you?” her eyes burned with hatred for Brienne “No woman would fuck you, if she didn’t love you.”

“Last night was--” he was about to say ‘a lie’, but checked himself “--necessary, a duty towards father. If I have to fulfil my vows to father, and give him his heir, then you do understand that I have to--”

He paused, fixing his sister with a stare “How do _you_ know, what happened on my wedding night?” he felt a sudden surge of anger “Why don’t you admit, that you sent spies after us? I had never imagined, that you would stoop this low!”

“So you _did_ fuck her,” Cersei’s voice went up a few notches “Yes, I did send a spy after you. I didn’t want you touching that _ugly wench_ with the same fingers, that you so much enjoy having inside me--”

“She’s my wife.” Jaime said, his anger now rising “And your sister-in-law, I think it would be decent to show her that respect.”

“Enough!” she shouted “I know, all this is a stupid sham, I just didn’t know, that you would go to the extent of fucking her.” she calmed down, and her tone suddenly softened “I thought you loved _me_ , Jaime, I was clearly mistaken.”

“I _do_ love you,” Jaime said “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you everytime.”

“Then why don’t you come to me these days,” Cersei took a step closer to him.

“Did you try to poison Brienne?” he asked her, out of the blue. He had to know.

“I had no hand in poisoning your wife.”

“I don’t believe you. You are a hateful woman,” Jaime said indignantly “Why have the gods made me love such a hateful woman?”

“Because we belong together,” she said, gently stroking his cheek “We came into this world together, and we will depart this world together.” she stood on her toes, kissing him gently at first, and then hungrily devouring his lips.

He wanted to get away from her, _this isn’t right_ , his mind said, but his body failed to comply. He wanted her, he loved her, he had always loved her. He kissed her back passionately, and turning her around, he pushed her roughly on the bed, and got on top of her, still continuing to kiss her. Her hands reached for his trousers, unbuttoning them in haste.

Just then, he heard the sound of the door opening. _Brienne._

Brienne took a long look at Jaime and his sister lying on the bed-wrapped in each other, eyes full of lust, unable to keep their hands off each other. Averting her eyes, she left the room wordlessly.

 _Gods, what have I done?_ Jaime got off the bed, pulling his trousers back up again.

“You should leave.” he told Cersei, ashamed at the thought of what he would’ve done, if Brienne had not walked in on them.

“I’m not scared of her,” Cersei said in contempt “Nor should you be. This is just a marriage of convenience, so why not retain it only for convenience.”

Jaime made for the door, barely registering her words, when she grabbed his arm.

“She can be your wife, but you have me...for other things,” she kissed him again “She couldn’t have been as good as me.” she said seductively.

This time, Jaime didn’t kiss her back, he broke away from her, and went after Brienne in haste.

+++++

After several minutes of searching, he found her sitting alone in the gardens.

“Brienne--” he didn’t know what to say, how to justify what she had just seen “I can explain--”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Ser Jaime,” Brienne said softly “You love her, and she loves you, and it’s not as if--” she paused “--I am actually your wife.”

Jaime felt- _guilty_? “I’m sorry, what you saw earlier should not have happened,” he said uneasily.

“Why are you apologising to me?” Brienne asked, _was there a hint of sarcasm in her voice?_ “She’s the one you love, whereas I am--” she hung back for a second “I’m just someone, whose life you saved, Ser Jaime. I’m just someone, who is here to help a friend save his brother.”

Jaime gaped at her, _why was she talking like this?_

“I’m just someone who’s not of any significance to you, someone who will be _out of your life_ in a few days, never to see you again.”

“Brienne, please don’t say that,” Jaime was still stunned “You know, you are important--”

“Yes, I know,” she agreed “If not, you wouldn’t have saved me twice.” she exhaled deeply “But, I am nothing more to you, than a friend. While friends are important, they can never become as important as family.”

Jaime opened his mouth to argue, but Brienne held out her hand, signalling that she had not finished yet.

“Before you object,” she cut in “Let’s accept the truth, Ser Jaime, that we’re both doing this only for your brother. I appreciate that you have taken the right side, despite that involving going against your sister, but…”

She gave him a look that he couldn’t quite fathom.

“...I am just someone you met on your way home, someone you hated at first, and then came to respect and regard as a friend, _nothing more_.”

“Brienne, you know how much I--”

“Respect me?” Brienne interrupted him again “I do. I also know that Cersei is your love. Who am I to question your relationship with her, or your actions?”

 _You are more than a friend, and I care for you_ , Jaime longed to tell her. But a friend was all she regarded him as, and that was all their relationship would always be. He had redeemed himself in her eyes, he was no longer the Kingslayer, or the oathbreaker, but he still was the incestuous bastard who fucked his sister. A principled woman like Brienne would never approve of a man like him. She was only here, because she felt that she owed him a debt for saving her life, when in fact, he thought wryly, it had been exactly the opposite.

Well, if a friend was what she considered him, then that was what he would be for her. He wouldn’t stand in the way of her quest, if that was all she wanted.

He wasn’t even sure, where his relationship with Cersei stood now, given the current friction between them. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep away from her, he was obsessed with her. She was an addiction for him, like alcohol was for Tyrion. _But, was he in love with her?_ That thought made him uncomfortable- _ofcourse he loved Cersei, why did that even come up as a question in his mind?_

“So what happens next?” Brienne broke his train of thoughts, abruptly changing the topic “If Lord Tyrion prevails in the trial by combat?”

“If,” Jaime looked at her sadly “he manages to find a champion.” he stared at the ground, helpless that he couldn’t do anything for his brother “He asked me to fight for him, but I’m completely useless without my sword hand. I wouldn’t last a minute.”

“I could give it a try,” Brienne suggested slowly “I don’t mind--”

“No!” Jaime was horrified “Marrying you for my brother’s sake is one thing, I can’t have you die brutally for him.”

“Who said I’d die?” Brienne said “I might be able to win. I like a good fight, and let’s face it, I’m probably among a handful, who stand any chance against the Mountain.”

“No, I can’t allow that,” Jaime said hastily “I don’t doubt your skills, and I don’t deny that you have the best chance among all of us, but I can’t risk having you out there.”

“And why would you object?” Brienne asked stubbornly “Because you’re my _husband_? And you don’t want your precious Lady Lannister to get her hands dirty with what she is actually passionate about?” she lashed out “Afraid, what your family might think of me?”

Jaime was shocked at this accusation.

“Do you think I have to do your bidding, because I’m married to you?” she went on “If so, then let me make it very clear, that you have no control over me. I’m not bothered about you fucking your sister-that’s your bloody business, and hers.” she fumed “But I’d appreciate it, if you stop telling me what to do.”

She paused, breathing heavily.

“I’m out of here, the moment the combat is over. I can’t wait any more, the more time I lose, the lesser are the chances of finding Sansa alive.” she said, frustrated “My skills and my oaths are the only things I value, Ser Jaime, and I’m not going to let go of either of them.”

“Have you finished?” Jaime asked her softly, when she had finally stopped speaking. She nodded, her face still red with the outburst.

“I don’t mean to exercise any right of a husband over you,” he said gently “I thought I had assured you, and last night was proof enough for that.” she looked slightly abashed, hearing this “My efforts to get close to you over the last few days have only been to convince the world, that we love each other, and it’s because of that, we’ve been fairly successful in our plan.” he explained “If I have offended you in any way because of these actions, I apologise, my intention has never been to control you, or to tell you what to do.”

“Then, why would you want to stop me?” she asked, mellowing down a bit.

“Far from trying to control you, the best thing I like about you, is that you are a strong and independent woman, who doesn’t need a man to protect her.” Jaime said in admiration.

Brienne seemed mollified by the compliment “You still haven’t answered my question. Why should I not fight as champion, if you don’t doubt my capability?”

“Because, I fear for your life.” Jaime said honestly “I can never live with myself if you die, or if anything happened to you. _Please,_ ” he implored “Don’t do this.”

She thought for a long moment, and then nodded.

“Fine,” she conceded “I won’t, but I would still want to leave as soon as possible, now that the trial has not gone as expected, I don’t know--”

“Don’t worry,” Jaime assured her “Irrespective of the outcome of the combat, I’ll get you out of here.”

“But your father,” Brienne asked him “What will you tell him?”

“I’ll manage,” he said, his thoughts going back to Tywin’s threats to execute Brienne if she ever left King’s Landing. _How he was going to manage getting her out of here?_

 

*****

 

Cersei came to meet Brienne later that day. She made her visit when Jaime was out, training with Bronn.

“So, you’re my sister-in-law now,” she remarked, looking at Brienne in disdain “Congratulations on making it as Lady Lannister. That’s a privilege, ordinary women can only dream of.”

Brienne knew Cersei was goading her into an argument, and decided that it was best to diplomatically deal with it, and keep quiet. She just smiled in response.

“Thank you, Your Grace,” she replied politely.

“Don’t, for a minute, think that my brother has fallen in love with you,” Cersei said bitterly “I think, what you saw yesterday, is proof enough that he loves me-he still wants me.”

“I have no such misconception, Your Grace,” Brienne replied, her heart sinking with the realization, that Cersei’s statement was entirely true.

“You won’t last long,” Cersei said threateningly “Just a while, until you bear Jaime’s child, and then he’ll cast you aside for me, that is, if he does manage to stay with you long enough to put a child in you--” she gave Brienne a look of pure loathing “--and if he doesn’t leave you, I’ll make sure that I--”

“Cersei, what--” Jaime had entered the room, and one look at the two women was enough for him to sense the tension in the air.

“I was just here to make sure your wife is comfortable,” Cersei said sweetly “It’s my responsibility to welcome her to our family, isn’t it?”

“Tell me, Lady Brienne,” Cersei fixed her with a stare that couldn’t mean well “Do you sing?”

“No--”

“Do you embroider?”

“I’m afraid, no,” Brienne laughed awkwardly.

“Can you dance?”

Brienne felt her face burn, having been reminded of that fateful ball on her name-day. Had it not been for Renly that day--she forced herself to calm down. Cersei was deliberately trying to put her down, to insult her, to prove that she wasn’t fit to be Lady Lannister.

“So you lack all the virtues and talents that are expected of a high-born lady,” Cersei commented scornfully “It’s a pity, my brother had to marry someone like you.”

“She can fight,” Jaime intervened “Better than any man I’ve ever fought, and better than me. She defeated me, when I had two hands. I suppose, that speaks volumes about her skills.”

“I never knew, skills with a sword were important for a lady,” Cersei mocked “What good will her swordplay be, if she had your daughter tomorrow? Would you train her to fight?”

“Maybe I would,” Jaime snapped in retaliation.

“That’s new,” Cersei said, fixing him with a glare “I never knew, you liked ugly warrior women, who can be easily mistaken for men.”

“Maybe, I do now,” Jaime said thoughtfully “Maybe I always did, maybe...I just failed to realise the true calling of my heart.”

Brienne’s heart warmed at Jaime’s attempt to defend her. It was a bundle of lies, but it still felt good to listen to.

“Please don’t tell me, that you’ve fallen for the wench.” Cersei was still glaring at Jaime.

“She’s my wife, and beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.” Jaime admonished her “And I would appreciate it, if we ended this conversation here. You will not insult her again, and let’s just forget that this ever happened.”

“Have you grown serious about this wedding, brother?” Cersei continued her taunts, and then directed her fury at Brienne “You think, my brother loves you, don’t you? He hasn’t been with any woman other than me, not even a whore, except unfortunately last night. You should consider yourself lucky, he fucked an ugly whore like you--”

“ _Cersei, that’s enough!_ ” Jaime thundered. Brienne had never seen him this angry before, and certainly not with his sister. His hand had almost risen, as if to slap her, but he restrained himself, his fist clenched in fury.

Visibly appalled at Jaime’s outburst, Cersei left the room in a huff, leaving Jaime still shaking with rage. For the first time in her life, Brienne was a bit scared of him.

“Ser Jaime,” she said timidly, worried that he might pounce on her next.

“Yes?” he growled, his anger had still not ebbed.

“Thank you,” she said in a low voice, apprehensive of his reaction. His expression softened, and in a few seconds, he was back to his usual self.

“She shouldn’t have insulted you.” he said, shaking his head.

Brienne was touched by his anger on her behalf, but it was time to face the truth.

“She didn’t say anything incorrect, did she? I am ugly, and--”

“I don’t care if you’re ugly.” he said in an impassioned tone.

“You did call me ugly so many times in the past,” Brienne reminded him “I think you should let it be. After all, she’s your sister and you lo--”

“Yes, I know, I love her,” he interrupted again “But, that doesn’t give her the right to speak inappropriately about you.”

Brienne suddenly felt ashamed of her behavior in the garden. Now was probably the right time to apologise to him.

“Ser Jaime--” she started, but by then, he had already left the room.

+++++

Brienne felt miserable as she lay on the bed, once again, attempting in vain to get some sleep. Jaime was fast asleep next to her. He had stood up to her defence in front of Cersei, even though she had lashed out at him in the garden, just a while before that. _Why had she treated him like that?_ She had to grudgingly admit to herself, that she was _a bit jealous,_ when she had caught him in bed with Cersei-what would have happened, had she not barged in on them? She had always known of Jaime’s feelings for his sister, then why should today’s incident bother her so much?

Her anger with him had been an outcome of this jealousy, so had all that shitload of nonsense, that she had unleashed on him. How could she admit to him, that she had grown to care for him more than one could ever care for a friend? _Hells, she found it difficult to admit even to herself, that how much he meant to her._ She had agreed to marry him to save Tyrion, but somewhere, deep down, a part of her wished that this were true-last night, a small corner of her heart had desired that he--she stopped, blushing, and then straightened her thoughts. Jaime didn’t think of her like that, and he never would. _There was no point in dreams. They never came true._

She heard a cough next to her.

“Can’t sleep, Brienne?” Jaime asked her drowsily.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I...um… was just awakened by a dream,” he stammered. For some reason, he looked unsettled.

“Nightmare?” she inquired.

“Quite the opposite,” he chuckled “One that’s too good to be true.”

“What did you dream of?”

He looked away from her “Let’s leave that aside, why are you still awake?”

“I’ve been thinking.” she sat up, deciding it was time to apologise for her rude behaviour earlier “I’m sorry, Ser Jaime, I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine,” he said yawning, sleep trying to overpower him again “I didn’t take any offence.”

 _How could she tell him, that she couldn’t bear to see him with Cersei?_ She was not a bit jealous-she was _terribly_ jealous seeing him like that with his sister.

“I was just,” she thought for a few seconds “Frustrated, that I can’t get out of here. I took it out on you.” she bit her lip, looking at Jaime for a response, but he had fallen asleep again.

She smiled, and settled herself on the bed, lying down with her back to him, forcing herself to fall asleep as usual, when she felt Jaime’s arm wind around her waist. Alarmed, she turned to him, and saw that he was still sleeping.

He pulled her close to him, her back resting snugly against his chest, as he tightened his hold around her. His hand moved up to her breast, and rubbed it through the thin lacy fabric of her gown. She shivered, her stupid bridal nightgown wasn’t enough to curb the painfully wonderful wave of pleasure that had just hit her. She made a mental note, never to wear thin lacy garments again. They failed to serve the purpose that clothes were actually meant for.

“Oh, I want you so much...” Jaime moaned, in a semi conscious state, most likely a dream again. _He had been dreaming of Cersei, that’s why he was reluctant to tell her about it._ Her heart filled with despair at this thought, and she was about to break free of his grasp, when he pressed against her, nuzzling along her neck, his fingers still teasing her breast, tormenting her. His stubble rubbed against her soft skin, the friction causing a mix of sensations-her wound hurting because of the roughness of his facial hair, and an ache between her legs that was growing at an alarming rate. His hand had moved off her breast, and was now on her shoulder. He pulled down the strap of her gown, to gain better access to her neck and her shoulder. He started kissing her neck, and as his mouth moved further down-she felt something hard pressing against her lower back-she gulped, when she realised what it was.

 _She had to do something now!_ She could punch him and free herself, or just shove him away. She was frustrated with herself-irritated that she couldn’t bring herself to do anything to stop him. She turned around carefully, and without waking him, gently moved him, so that he lay on his back. This should calm things down a bit, she hoped. But no, this was worse. His robe was open at the front, giving her a full view of his glorious chest, his flat stomach, and his muscular shoulders. Involuntarily, he pulled her close to him again, and now she was trapped between his arm, and his body, her head resting on his chest.

 _Get away from him, now, before you both regret it later_ , a part of her said.

 _Snuggle up to him closer_ , another small, evil voice in her mind tried to convince her.  

 

*****

 

Jaime woke the next morning, and found Brienne sleeping contentedly in his arms. His blood ran cold, _what had he done in his sleep?_ _Did they...?_ To his relief, he saw that there was no--accident--like the other night. Safe, he concluded, calming down, after his initial panic had subsided. He lay still for a while, not wanting to disturb her, gazing at her serene face-innocent and peaceful.

This mess that he had got himself and Brienne into, was getting murkier. Adding to that, was his confusion-he couldn’t understand himself at times. He loved Cersei, there was no doubt about that. But what was this new-- _thing_ (for lack of a better word to call it) with Brienne? Why was he so upset, when Cersei had insulted her yesterday?

His recurring sordid dream-the very thought of it mortified him. He had dismissed it as a one-time incident, but he had the same dream last night as well. He convinced himself that it had been nothing, but a reaction of his body to the sight of a nearly naked woman- _yes, that was what it was_.

He would’ve reacted the same way, had it been any other woman in her place. As these thoughts crossed his mind, he tried not to stare at her. He paid no attention to her gown, that was so bloody flimsy, and left nothing to imagination. The gown was almost off her-the strap that was supposed to be on her shoulder, was somewhere down at her elbow, and the swell of her breasts, barely covered by the lacy fabric _didn’t_ attract his gaze at all. The soft pressure of her breasts against his bare chest made no difference to him at all. Her long legs, now mostly bare, courtesy her attire, which only reached her thighs, were intertwined with his. The way her toes slid up and down his leg, as she stirred in her sleep didn’t bother him either. And her arm that was wrapped around him, with her hand resting on his chest didn’t trouble him even a tiny bit. She suddenly jerked her knee dangerously close, wedging it in between his legs, almost into his--

He hoped for her to wake up soon, for the sake of his sanity, and their mutual safety. He had to distract himself, and immediately. _Where were those bloody distractions, when you desperately needed them?_ Much to his annoyance, his thoughts refused to leave the wench.

What if he had actually married Brienne? What would his life be like, then? He brought himself back to reality. She had pointed out plainly-that she was just a friend helping him out, and nothing more. She was right, that was what he thought of her too.

He felt a sudden movement in his arms, Brienne had awoken. She got up with a start, and blushed, noticing the awkward position she was in.

“Ser Jaime, if you could…” she said, her voice coming out squeaky.

 _Let her go_ , his head said.

 _Keep her safe in your arms, and never let her leave_ , his heart said.

“Ser Jaime,” she repeated.

“Oh, stop calling me _ser_ , will you?” Jaime released her, irritated with the formal address.

“I can’t,” she said.

“You can’t...what?”

“I can’t...not call you ser.” Sitting up hastily, she pulled up the strap of her gown, making sure her modesty was adequately covered.

“You should’ve--” she said sheepishly.

“Pushed you away?” he asked mischievously “How could I dare do that, my lady? My wife has every right to use me as a pillow.”

“It wasn’t my fault entirely,” she said in a small voice “Last night, it seemed like you had a dream--” she stopped, blushing furiously.

 _Gods, had he done something inappropriate in his sleep?_ He vividly remembered his dream, and that didn’t help his conscience at all.

“I’m sorry, for whatever happened last night,” he mumbled, unable to meet her eyes “I assure you, it won’t happen again.”

+++++

The next few days passed without incident, until the day of the combat dawned on them.

It was over. Oberyn Martell, Tyrion’s champion, was dead, killed brutally by the Mountain. Tyrion had lost, they had lost, everything Jaime had fought for, was now a lost cause.

Tyrion had been rather shaken, that Bronn had refused to be his champion this time, but Prince Oberyn had volunteered-he had a personal score to settle with Gregor Clegane. He had been going well, and would have even won, had it not been for his stupidity to provoke the giant into killing him. It had been suicide.

Jaime had made his decision.

“What are you doing?” Tyrion asked, surprised to see his brother in the dungeons.

“What do you think, I’m doing? Jaime replied, beckoning to him to move quickly “A galley is waiting by the bay, bound for the free cities--”

“Who’s helping you?” Tyrion inquired, as they rushed through the tunnels.

“Varys,” Jaime said “You’ve got more friends than you thought.”

They finally reached a fleet of stairs going up, when Jaime stopped.

“I suppose, this is goodbye then.” Tyrion said, looking at his brother in gratitude.

“Farewell, little brother,” Jaime hugged him, hoping he would reach someplace safe.

As he headed back, Jaime wondered about his and Brienne’s fate now-he couldn’t hold her back endlessly. He had to let her leave. He had thought of sending her away with Pod, but his father’s threat kept coming up repeatedly in his mind - _the moment she leaves King’s Landing, she ends up dead._

+++++

Jaime had never thought, he would be standing beside his father’s corpse the same night that he had let his brother escape. Tywin Lannister was dead, killed by his own son. Little did he imagine, that things would take such an ugly turn. He grieved for his father, and despised his brother for killing their father.

All that he had done for his brother was a complete waste now.

Jaime froze, as he remembered something, _Brienne_. He recalled Tywin’s threat-if something happened to him, Brienne would be executed. His father was no more, and he was damn sure, that his men would carry out his orders faithfully. Brienne would be dead in a day, at the most, two. He rushed out of his father’s chambers, and fled straight to his room.

“Pack your things,” he ordered Brienne, waking her up “And hurry.”

She gave him a puzzled look.

“Now,” he insisted, the urgency in his voice increasing.

“Am I going somewhere?” Brienne asked him “Do I get to leave King’s Landing?”

“Not you,” he said “ _We_ , we’re leaving at dawn.”

“We?” her surprised expression was back.

“You and me,” he said impatiently “Now be quick about it.”

“Are you are coming with me to find Sansa?” Brienne was confused.

“We’re not going to find Sansa, not just yet.” Jaime decided to break the truth to her “I’m taking you to Braavos.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter, I suppose, we've completed roughly half the story. I had planned to end this in about 7-8 chapters, but the story kept expanding in my head, and it's gotten too long now.  
> Thanks to everyone who's been with me through this so far, and without your encouraging comments, I don't think I could have made it this far. I hope you sustain the patience to stay with me till the end :)  
> With JB, the canon journey has been rewarding, and for this story too, the journey of their love is as important as a happy ending.  
> Be warned, this is not the end of Cersei. Jaime still has some work to do on that front.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does everything go as per plan?

“I need you to come with me.” Jaime said firmly, dragging an extremely surprised and infuriated Bronn out of Littlefinger’s brothel. After nearly an hour of searching, Jaime managed to locate him in the arms of a pretty redhead, and the sellsword didn’t take it too kindly on being intruded upon in his moment of pleasure. They made their way out of the brothel and decided to talk at their covert location, where no one would overhear or disturb them.

“What the fuck?” Bronn swore irritably “What was so important, that it couldn’t have waited until morning?”

“If it could have,” Jaime said patiently “I wouldn’t have come looking for you in the middle of the night, would I? Would I dare disturb you in the middle of--”

“Aye,” Bronn agreed, breaking into a sly smile. Despite his resentment, the man didn’t miss a chance to tease Jaime. “You’d rather be happily fucking your wife at this hour, than meet me in a brothel.” he sniggered.

 _There he goes again_ , Jaime groaned. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get used to Bronn’s taunts.

“I’m leaving for Braavos at dawn,” he came to the point “With Brienne.”

“Pleasure trip with your new wife?” Bronn asked him innocently.

“Don’t be stupid, my father just died.” Jaime said, irritated “Brienne is in danger. I want to get her someplace safe, and lie low for a few days.” He reminded Bronn of Tywin’s threat to get rid of Brienne in case of his untimely death.

“Are you fookin crazy?” Bronn looked at him in disbelief “Fleeing the city, while your father’s body lies in the sept, waiting to be buried.”

“Well, I never thought--”

“What sort of an impression it would create?” Bronn finished “What kind of a son you will be labelled as? And do you think, your sister will stand by and watch if you both leave together?”

In his mounting panic to keep Brienne safe, Jaime had completely overlooked this aspect. Bronn had a point, but Tywin’s threat to her life still loomed large.

“If I don’t get her out soon, my father’s men will kill her.” he said frantically.

“Relax,” Bronn placed a calming hand on his shoulder “Your father’s threats made sense before your wedding, not anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you really think Tywin Lannister would want to kill the future mother of your children-his heirs?” Bronn asked him “Don’t you think, he would’ve revoked that order, the moment you married her? If I were him, that’s the first thing I would’ve done.” he shrugged “If he had wanted her dead, what was the point in him consenting to your marriage?”

Jaime considered this carefully, but a doubt still lingered in his mind.

“We don’t know that for sure--”

“Your father was always obsessed with carrying your family line ahead,” Bronn argued “It took him a shitload of convincing--or rather blackmailing you--to get you married, so having your wife killed would be the last thing he’d do, but,” he added, as an afterthought “Your sister seems like a potential threat.”

Jaime had to concur with him, there was still the problem of Cersei’s jealousy “The longer Brienne stays in King’s Landing, the lesser are my chances of keeping her alive.”

“I have a plan that’ll solve this problem too,” Bronn said slowly “Both, you and your lady will stay here until your father’s funeral. Once that’s over, tell your sister that you want to annul your wedding.”

“I won’t tell Cersei any such thing.” Jaime said strongly “She won’t believe me, she suspects that I let Tyrion escape.”

Bronn ignored his objection, and continued explaining his plan.

“Tell her, that you still love her, and now that your father is dead, and your brother has absconded, the deal with your father is off.” Bronn said “Your wedding is off.”

This time Jaime didn’t interrupt Bronn, and allowed him to go on.

“Tell her, that you want to personally go after Lord Tyrion,” Bronn said “You didn’t know your brother would murder your father, and now, you want to avenge your father.”

“She will never believe any of this shit,” Jaime said, dismissing the idea “She still thinks I’m in love with Brienne.”

“But you’ve always been telling her that you love _her_ , haven’t you?” Bronn asked “Earlier the situation was different, but now you’re neither bound by your vow to your father, nor do you have to save your brother.”

Jaime had already started planning the next step in his mind.

“I’ll invent a rumour that Tyrion’s been spotted in Dragonstone,” he said, thinking aloud “And this, being a covert mission, only you would accompany me, no one else.”

“Wait,” Bronn didn’t sound too happy with this suggestion “Why am I a part of this stupid plan?”

“I can’t go alone, and there’s no one else I can trust.” Jaime said “Brienne can leave with Podrick two days later, and meet us in Dragonstone. After that we sail to Braavos.”

“I’m to wed Lollys,” Bronn said glumly “I have a life here, in a castle.”

“Once this is over, I’ll find you a prettier wife, and a bigger castle.” Jaime promised him “Besides, it’s your plan, so it’s only fair that you help.”

Bronn still looked grumpy, but Jaime paid no attention him. Another potential obstacle had just struck him. “There’s one problem, how will Brienne get out? What about the guards?”

“Leave that to me,” Bronn assured him “I still have some friends in the City Watch, who owe their lives to me, they’ll do anything for me. They’ll help ensure her safe passage out of here.”

“I’m worried about Brienne in my absence, what if Cersei tries to--”

“I’m fully confident that your lady can take care of herself, don’t you worry,” Bronn reassured him “Gods, you can’t even leave her alone for two days, and you say you feel nothing for her.” he teased again.

“Bronn,” Jaime warned him “Back on track please--”

“Even if your sister sends men after her, it’ll be to the Eyrie,” Bronn said “Because that’s where Sansa Stark was last seen, and that’s where everyone knows your wife will head to.”

+++++

Jaime felt like an idiot, as he mulled over his rash decisions. He had misjudged his father. Maybe Bronn was right, Tywin would never dream of laying a finger on Brienne, now that she was a Lannister. His father was ruthless, but not foolish. But Cersei, she was the one to watch out for, and he feared that she might harm Brienne again out of her jealousy. But tonight, he had overreacted, the apprehension that Brienne might come to some harm had consumed him completely.

Brienne was sitting on the bed, fully dressed and her trunk packed, waiting for him when he reached his chambers.

“Change in plan,” he announced, as he entered “We are not going anywhere, not immediately.” She gave him a surprised look, as he sat next to her and explained the revised plan to her.

“What makes you think that your sister is going to believe you?” Brienne’s eyes narrowed “And is she is going to keep quiet, while I sneak out of the city?”

“I love her,” Jaime said firmly “I’m sure, I can make her believe that again. As for your escape, you’ll have help from the Gold Cloaks, Bronn will take care of that.”

Brienne had an odd expression on her face. “When do you plan to get the marriage annulled?” she asked him, her voice sounding abnormally low.

“I’ll be with you in Braavos for a few days, until I’m convinced that Cersei has given up looking for you.” he said, making up the plan as he spoke “Sansa has been spotted at the Eyrie, you can go there, and once you’ve left, I’ll come back to King’s Landing and initiate the proceedings.”

“You’ll come back here?” Brienne blurted out.

“Ofcourse,” Jaime replied, _why did that take her by surprise?_ “My family is here, they need me, Tommen has no one to protect him, now that my father’s gone.” he thought for a second “Once the wedding is off, I might join the Kingsguard again.”

“So what now?”

“Now,” Jaime said, smiling “I’ll go for a bath, and you can get changed and go to bed. It’s quite late already.”

Brienne give a sigh and opened her trunk, taking out her gown to be worn for the night. Looking at it, Jaime couldn’t help thinking about the other night when, in his sleep he had almost--the gown was lacy, white, and nearly transparent, with delicate straps over the shoulders, and the plunging neckline didn’t do much to cover her wonderful breasts.

He stripped himself off his clothes with great effort, not daring to call Brienne for help this time. The thoughts of the wench in that revealing piece of clothing was once again beginning to get him into a predicament, which she had better not see him in.

Frustrated, he entered the bath and got into the cold water, hoping it might do him some good, hoping that it might quench the fire that continuously raged inside him, the fire that was slowly threatening to get out of control.

He tore his mind off inappropriate thoughts about the wench, and focussed on Cersei. What would happen now to whatever there was between them? He still loved her, he was sure of that, but he was now about to betray her, he had never lied to her before. He would have to convince her really well to gain her trust again. He was almost sure now, that she was the one who had poisoned Brienne. Tywin had spoken the truth when Jaime had asked him about his involvement in Brienne’s assassination attempt. The question was nagging him- _was he ready to forgive Cersei after all this and accept her again?_ She was his sister, his love, his family, and family always came first, that’s what Tywin had always taught him. His love for her was strong, _but was it strong enough?_

His thoughts completely muddled, he decided that he would leave addressing that dilemma for another day. He had a more immediate problem to solve now--his dreams--and he hoped that he wouldn’t experience one tonight.

He threw a towel around his waist and left the bath, dripping wet. When he came out, he saw Brienne clad in the same stupid piece of garment that had repeatedly made his life miserable, since he had first seen her in it. She was back on the bed, getting ready to settle down to go to bed.

She was about to get into the sheets, when they heard a knock on the door. Jaime gave her a look, it was almost past midnight, not a civil hour for anyone to visit them, which would most likely mean danger. Brienne reached for Oathkeeper and hid it under the pillow, ready to strike if need be, when they heard a voice.

“Can I come in my lady?” It was Brienne’s handmaiden.

Jaime knew that this couldn’t mean well for them, the girl had been sent here to check on them again, _Wasn’t Cersei tired of spying on him?_ Didn’t the first night convince her enough? Thinking quickly, he hatched a plan in his mind. Brienne would despise him for this all her life, but there was no other way out of this. He put a finger on his lip, signalling to her to be quiet and made his way to her.

“I’m so sorry, Brienne, for what I’m about to do,” he whispered softly in her ear “But I have to do this, so forgive me if you can, and please don’t think badly of me.” Saying so, he pushed her roughly on the bed, and flung himself on her. She was about to say something in protest, when he silenced her, pressing his mouth to hers, kissing her passionately. After the first few seconds of shock, she had come to terms with what he was doing, and kissed him back with matched vigour. Encouraged by her response, Jaime was convinced that he wouldn’t be kicked in the balls or punched in the guts, and deepened the kiss, his hand wandering all over her body, and his stump around her waist, clamping her tightly against him.

He plunged his tongue into her mouth and kissed her harder, with such searing passion that he had never felt before for anyone. He pulled the annoying strap off her shoulder, until it was down to her elbow, and began kissing her neck, slowly moving down, leaving a trail of kisses along her throat. His hand was busy exploring her body, working its way down her neck and shoulder, cupping her breast over the thin material, which was now soaking wet because of the contact with his body. He teased her breast with his fingers, stroking it, caressing it, as he continued nibbling her neck. A soft moan escaped her, and she threw her arms around his neck, her clothes now clinging to his wet body. She ran her fingers through his hair, and slowly moved her hands down his neck, and along his back, pulling him closer, her nails digging hard into his skin.

 _She was a good actress, he had to give her credit for that!_ A fake response like this, just to keep the act going was not easy at all.

Jaime was now painfully hard, his towel lying somewhere on the bed, completely forgotten. Her eyes widened, as his erection rubbed against her thighs. He was in agony, nearly falling apart due to his arousal, and he was so rock hard, that he was worried he might rip through her delicate dress. He kissed her again, this time, rough and wild, unable to contain himself.

He mentally cursed himself for the pathetic situation he was stuck in, he couldn’t go ahead with this; this was just a stupid act, with neither of them wanting it, but at the same time his body was reacting to her so much, that he was worried he might explode, and he desperately needed a release. Consumed by his frustration, he ended up biting her lip, drawing blood.

“Gods, Jaime!” Brienne cried out so loudly, that anyone outside the room could’ve heard her. Her lip was bleeding, and as he continued kissing her, he could taste her blood on his lips. _Stop this right now_ , said a sensible voice in his head, but he just couldn’t...it was too late. He yanked the strap of her gown further down, and was about to take it off her completely, when she snapped back to her senses, and pushed him away. She sat up, breathing heavily, and hurriedly pulled her dress back on, her entire body shivering.

 _He had gone too far!_ He had hurt her, and he had attempted to besmirch her honour! _What was the bloody difference between Locke and him?_ He collected his wits and climbed off her, picking up the towel and wrapping it back around him. Not daring to look at her, he got off the bed and opened the door.

The handmaiden took one look at them and blushed; Brienne - with the gown clinging to her, wet, clumsy and nearly see-through, her hair in a mess, completely disheveled, lips swollen and bleeding, clearly due to a rough, passionate kiss that had gone out of control, and Jaime - wet and nearly naked, a bulge under his towel, and her blood on his lips.

The girl seemed to have realised that she had interrupted a night of wild, passionate fucking, when she gave Brienne an embarrassed look “My lady, I saw that the candles were still burning...” she stammered “I came to check if you needed something.” she said sheepishly.

Jaime gave her his most charming smile “I’m here to take care of your lady’s needs.” Brienne blushed deeply at this statement.

The maid mumbled an apology and left, shutting the door behind her.

Jaime turned away from the door, and stopped right where he stood. Brienne sat there, dazed and confused, looking adorable and freshly fucked. Though he had not exactly fucked her, he had been very close to it, and would have gone all the way there, had better sense not prevailed over her. When she got off the bed, he saw that the gown had stuck to her body. He couldn’t resist staring at her breasts, and his eyes darted down to her legs, the golden tuft of hair between her thighs clearly visible through the wet transparent cloth--she was wet, was it the dampness from her clothes? Or was it--? The very idea made him nearly gasp in painful arousal again.

“I need to change,” Brienne said, finally breaking the awkward silence.

“And I need a bath again,” his voice came out hoarse, almost a whisper. He shucked his towel off and rushed into the bath, plunging himself into the cold water again, using his hand to aid his release. He tried not to think of the wench’s body-warm and soft, pleasantly contrasting with the cold wetness of his own, the feel of her lips against his, her tongue--she tasted like honey, and her hands as they explored his body. _This was a big mistake_ , he kept reminding himself. She would never forgive him for this.

By the time Jaime had dressed and come out, Brienne had changed into a fresh gown.

“Brienne, I…” he didn’t know what to say - that he was sorry ? _Was he really sorry?_ The question coming up as a doubt in his mind was troubling. She would never trust him again. He had saved her honour once, and now he himself had pounced on her like an animal who hadn’t fucked for days, desperate for a release. Yes, that was what this was, his body’s reaction to a woman, since he hadn’t been with Cersei for ages. That, coupled with the grief of his father’s demise, which had left him craving for affection and closeness.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled “I shouldn’t have forced myself on you. It didn’t mean anything. I only did it to--”

“I know you did it to save me, Ser Jaime,” she replied, making an effort to look anywhere, but at him “Let’s forget such a thing ever happened, and move on.”

He nodded, and he was suddenly reminded about something that she had said earlier.

“Brienne,” he asked her “Earlier when we were...when I kissed you, you called me _Jaime_ ,” he gave her a sharp look “Why?”

A faint blush coloured her cheeks “In a moment of passion, a wife doesn’t refer to her husband by his title, does she?” she explained shyly “The girl would’ve heard me scream, and if I had called you _ser_ , she would’ve found out--”

“So, this was just an act?” Jaime asked, trying not to sound disappointed. He had almost thought that her arousal, like his, was real.

“Ofcourse it was,” Brienne replied, sounding as if this was the most obvious thing in the world “What else did you think it was?”

“Nothing,” he said glumly, returning to bed.

“Can you do me a favour?” Brienne asked him in a small voice.

“Yes?”

“I can’t wear these again,” she said, pointing to her gown “I prefer my regular clothes, so could you arrange for some of those?” she said, he could see her blush in the candlelight “I hate these stupid gowns.”

“I like them a lot, and I think you should wear them more often.” he said mischievously, before he blew the candles out and lay down, groaning at the thought of a long and painful night, yet again.

Brienne lay facing away from him, perhaps so angry with him, that she would never speak with him again. A long time later, Jaime was still awake, trying not to sleep, fearing he might dream of her again and end up doing something inappropriate. Judging by Brienne tossing and turning next to him, he could make out that she wasn’t asleep as well.

“Was that your first kiss?” he asked her suddenly, not sure why the question had popped up in his head.

“Shut up.” came the annoyed voice next to him.

“Pretty good for a first time,” Jaime said in an appreciative tone. Brienne turned to him and sat up, her face red with anger.

“Don’t you mock me!” she said indignantly, with the exact same expression that she had given him when he had mentioned Renly in the bath. The vision of her body, naked and wet, as she stood up in front of him, was still vivid in his mind.

“I’m not,” he said sincerely “So _was it_?” he pressed further.

Her silence, and the way she pursed her lips together gave him his answer. _He_ was her first, and that gave him an odd sense of satisfaction.

“That was some really good acting earlier,” he teased “Screaming my name, anyone would’ve thought you were--”

“What?” Brienne raised her voice in irritation “You think, I was enjoying it? Far from it, I was only playing along with your stupid idea.”

Jaime felt a flash of disappointment, he had known she was playing along, but the revelation that she had found his touch so... _revolting,_ disturbed him. He resolved never to touch her again, not even by accident, and not even in his sleep. He had to be very very careful.

+++++

Jaime woke up the next morning, weary and red-eyed, having hardly slept that night. After Tywin’s funeral, he met Bronn again at their usual training spot. He had just realised that he had made a huge mistake last night. He wanted Bronn’s opinion.

“You look tired,” Bronn observed “Didn’t sleep because of the tension?”

Jaime looked embarrassed “Something happened last night.” he told Bronn sheepishly.

He had Bronn’s complete attention now “Did you fuck her?”

“Well…” Jaime hesitated, and Bronn’s eyes widened in shock.

“Did you do it?” he gave Jaime a huge grin “ _finally?_ ”

“I didn’t fuck her, “ Jaime clarified “Not exactly.”

“What do you mean, _not exactly_?” Bronn pried further.

Jaime told him about the previous night’s incident, his face turning red with embarrassment as he spoke. Bronn’s expression changed from mockery to amusement, and finally to an all-knowing look which said ‘I told you so’.

“What’s the problem?” Bronn shrugged “She wants to fuck you, you want to fuck her, and you almost did. She’s your wife, you have every right to.”

Jaime shook his head “It doesn’t fit in our plan. I’m supposed to tell Cersei I’m going to annul the wedding. What good will it be, if she comes to know that I bedded my wife last night?” on second thoughts, he added “I _didn’t_ want to fuck her, and for your information, she was repulsed by my touch.”

“Oh, go on both of you,” Bronn said in exasperation “Keep denying until the world comes to an end.”

“Can we focus on the more important problem first?” Jaime said, irritated.

“ _If_ the maid goes and tells her,” Bronn said “Which I don’t think, will happen. If she had seen you in bed fully dressed, then that’s what she would’ve reported. She’s expected to report anything abnormal. Fucking your wife is normal.”

Bronn made sense yet again.

“How was it?” Bronn asked, smirking.

“How was _what_?”

“The _almost fucking_?” Bronn asked with a straight face, and though Jaime didn’t want this conversation, he found himself giving Bronn the intimate details.

“You left _your mark_ on her, and that amounts to claiming her as yours.” Bronn exclaimed “You want her so badly, don’t you? You just won’t accept it.”

“Claiming her?” Jaime repeated, mildly amused as he imagined what Brienne’s reaction might be, if she heard this “Are we living in some kind of savage society?”

Bronn just shrugged.

“Last night was a mistake” Jaime said defensively “It’ll never happen again, and I’m never sharing a bed with her again.”

“We’ll see about that too.” Bronn remarked, as they walked back to the castle.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

Jaime had been out to meet Bronn for quite a while, leaving Brienne thinking over last night’s events. She had not slept all night, and she wasn’t surprised why. Jaime’s kiss had left her shocked, no doubt, but also-- _desiring for more?_

She was embarrassed with the way she had reacted to him, his cold and wet body burning hers with a fire that she had never experienced before, the feel of his deft fingers on her breast almost torturing her into oblivion, the way his tongue sparred with hers, his hardness against her thighs--what would it be like to have him inside her? She had gone all wet between her legs, and dreaded that Jaime might find out, but fortunately her dress was soaking wet, and her... _condition_ went undetected.

Obviously it was all an act, he had made that very clear that it didn’t mean anything to him, but she couldn’t help thinking- _what if last night had been real?_ She blushed, Jaime had almost guessed that she was aroused, she had to make an extra effort to convince him that she hated it and that she was only acting.

She was ashamed with herself for not putting an end to it earlier--she should’ve stopped him long before things began to go out of hand, sadly she lacked the willpower to do that, and had let herself get carried away. Had they gone all the way last night, it would have ended up in nothing but heartache--for they were never meant to be together. This was it, the end of their journey together. He would come with her to Braavos, and then return home once he was convinced of her safety. And then, she would never see him again. Their goals were different, their lives headed in different directions, and they had to take different paths.

+++++

The three of them met again to discuss their final plan. Jaime had managed to successfully convince Cersei that he was still in love with her. Brienne’s heart sank when he told her of his success, a small part of her wished that maybe--but this was what she too had wanted, didn’t she? Freedom from the marital bond, and back to Sansa and her vows as soon as possible. This was what she had always been insisting on, then why wasn’t she happy when she was finally about to get her wish?

Jaime was discussing the annulment with Bronn, “It’s not as if it’s a real marriage,” she heard Bronn tell him “You only did this to save her from your father, and to prevent him from getting her married to the Mountain.”

Brienne froze on hearing that “Say that again?”

Bronn squirmed uncomfortably, giving her a look that indicated he had revealed something that he should not have. “I think it’s time for me to leave now,” he said, eyes darting towards the exit “I’ll make the arrangements for our departure tomorrow.” he told Jaime and left, closing the door behind him.

Brienne frowned at Jaime “Care to explain?”

“My father thought you were here to kill him--to avenge the Red Wedding, he wanted you to wed the Mountain, so that you could be here, under his watchful eyes.” Jaime tried to explain “I couldn’t bring myself to approve of this, so I decided to--”

“So you decided to marry me out of pity,” she whispered, stunned by the revelation “And annul the wedding whenever you wanted to, so that you could continue your affair with your sister.”

“Now look here, Brienne, that’s not what it was--”

“I would rather have fought the Mountain in combat.” she went on, blinded by a sudden frustration.

Jaime looked angry now “I did all this to save your life, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m concerned about your wellbeing,” he snapped “I never expected you to react in such an ungrateful manner.”

“Ungrateful?” Brienne repeated “If I were ungrateful, I wouldn’t have stuck around with you, pretending to be your wife, to save your brother. I would’ve left long back to find Sansa, and maybe I would’ve found her by now, rather than sitting here and wasting time, doing nothing.”

“Then, maybe I should’ve just left you to the mercy of the Mountain,” Jaime said, his eyes flashing with fury “My mistake, I bothered about you.”

“Fine, don’t you interfere in my life again!” she hissed “ It is not your responsibility to protect me, I’m quite capable of doing that myself, and I am not coming with you to Braavos. I’m going straight to the Eyrie.”

“Suits me fine too, do as you please,” Jaime retorted “I’ll be glad to finally get rid of you, I’m going to tell Bronn right now that the plan is off.” he stormed off in a huff.

+++++

Brienne sat alone in her room, her head pounding. She had not seen Jaime since he had left earlier. There was a knock on the door, she opened, expecting it to be Jaime, but it was Bronn.

“My lady,” he asked her tentatively “Is this the right moment to speak to you?”

She nodded, inviting him in.

“It is not my place to advice you, or to tell you what to do,” Bronn said carefully “All I’d like to say is, he did everything in good intention.”

“Please don’t start justifying what he did, I know he wanted--”

“He just wanted to keep you safe, he knew that if he left you with the Mountain, you would be raped,” Bronn said “He didn’t want you to suffer such a horrible fate.”

When Brienne didn’t say anything, Bronn went on.

“He tried to keep you safe from his father as well.”

Now, this was another surprising piece of information for her. He went on to tell her, how Tywin Lannister had given orders to execute her if anything happened to him. That was why Jaime had panicked yesterday, and had decided to leave for Braavos at once. It was not out of fear of Cersei.

“He bargained with his father for you.” Bronn continued “My only request to you is, before taking any decision, please consider your options carefully. He has done so much for your safety, don’t do something that might jeopardise everything at the last minute!”

“Has he forgotten that I agreed to marry him for his brother?” Brienne said indignantly.

“He hasn’t, and he holds you in high regard for that,” Bronn said desperately “Both of you do so much for each other, but refuse to--” he was about to say something, but stopped “All I’d ask of you, my lady, is please go with him to Braavos. It’s just a matter of a few more days, and then you’ll never cross each other's paths again. What harm is another couple of days?”

“Fine,” she said reluctantly “Please tell Ser Jaime, that I’m ready to go with his plan.”

+++++

It was dawn already, and again, Brienne had not slept for most part of the night. Jaime had not come to their chambers that night. She had waited until midnight, but there was no sign of him. She missed his comforting presence in the bed. _Damn, what was happening to her?_ She realized with a pang, that he might have been with Cersei the whole night. Did he not tell her yesterday, that his eventual plan was to return to King’s Landing, to his sister?

That he was fucking his sister, was none of her business, and it wouldn’t affect her either. In his exact words - didn’t he want to _get rid_ of her? She would make the job easier for him. She would go to Braavos with him, but only for a day, or at the most two. She was capable enough to travel alone to find Sansa, and that was what she was going to do.

“Lady Brienne,” a familiar, unpleasant voice called out. Cersei entered the room without bothering to knock, wearing a smug smile on her face.

Brienne’s heart sank further and she got to her feet “Your Grace,” she bowed, acknowledging her sister-in-law’s presence.

“Jaime has left King’s Landing,” she informed Brienne with a smirk “Leaving you here. Has he told you that he plans to get the wedding annulled?”

So, she had come here to gloat. Brienne nodded, the lump in her throat preventing her from speaking.

“Did he tell you, that he is now free of my father’s vow, and he doesn’t want you anymore?” she said smoothly “And that he loves _me_ , not you. Finally, my brother has found his true calling.”

Brienne nodded again. _So he had spent the night with Cersei!_ He had no doubt seen Cersei in her the other night when they... No wonder, he had almost fucked her senseless, she realized in despair.

“I’m sure,” Cersei went on “Once your wedding is annulled, you might want to return to Tarth.”

“I might,” Brienne answered “I’ve not made up my mind yet.” her voice sounded hollow to herself.

“I was right about you,” Cersei glared at her “You do _love_ my brother.”

+++++

The next two days were pure punishment for Brienne. She was terribly bored, having nothing to do all day, just biding her time, waiting for the moment when they would leave this wretched city, never to come back again. She kept re-thinking about her argument with Jaime-she had not even said goodbye to him, the way Cersei had come to gloat, and Cersei’s conclusion that she was in love with Jaime. Cersei had misjudged her, like many others. _There was no room for love in her life_ , she decided bitterly.

She had to leave the next morning, at daybreak, and she lay awake waiting for the sun to rise. When it was time, she got ready, dressed like a man, clad in the armour Jaime had given her. She had hidden Oathkeeper in her trunk, for carrying such a sword openly on her would risk giving her identity away.

She met Pod at the castle gates, and they scanned the road for any sign of guards, but Bronn had made sure that the castle guards were taken care of, and her passage was safe. Two of the Gold Cloaks were present, to escort them safely to the bay.

They boarded the ship out of King’s Landing, and finally, she was out of here, never to set foot in this damned city again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another long chapter, just couldn't help it :(


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally set sail to Braavos, and en-route Brienne meets a handsome stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changing the rating to M for one scene - No, it's not the JB bang, not just yet.

“Come in,” Cersei called out to the handmaiden waiting at the door. Since the time she had come to know that Brienne had absconded, her mind raced in one and only one direction-Was she with her brother? Did they both run away together?

“Your Grace,” the handmaiden glanced at her nervously “There is something,” she spoke haltingly “Something that I saw two nights back.”

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” Cersei asked her sweetly, trying to decide the best way to punish the disobedient girl.

The maid stood there in silence, numb with fear.

“Well go on,” Cersei said impatiently “I don’t have all day.”

“Ser Jaime…” she stammered, her face flushing “He and his wife…”

“What did he do?” Cersei knew what was coming “Did he fuck her?”

The maid nodded in affirmation. Never mind, probably just to put a child in her, a mere formality, nothing that involved love or passion, Cersei concluded. The girl still stood there.

“What else?” Cersei prompted.

“They were,” the girl hesitated “I happened to interrupt a wild and passionate night, Your Grace.” She went on to describe the scene that she had witnessed.

Cersei was consumed by rage. Jaime had never fucked her with this much passion, how dare he…

“You can go now.” she ordered the woman away.

She had to get her brother back, and for that, the bloody Tarth woman had to die. Cersei knew that Jaime would go to any extent to protect the wench. She had been such a fool, Tyrion’s capture was just a decoy, she realized. The real intention was to get Brienne to the Eyrie, where Sansa Stark was, with Petyr Baelish. If Jaime was in Dragonstone, then Brienne would’ve gone there too, and she would never leave Dragonstone alive.

 

*****

 

She had not seen Jaime for just over a couple of days, and it already begun to feel like years. Over the last few months, he had become an integral part of her life, and only now did she realise it, when she had been away from him. They were about to dock at Dragonstone in some time and she would see him again, the thought was enough to set her heart aflutter. Angry with her anticipation to see him, Brienne reminded herself of the way he had insulted her. _Ungrateful_ -he had called her. He wanted to get rid of her. She was supposed to hate him for all this, and the least she could attempt to do, would be to ignore him, just grit her teeth and tolerate him for the next few days.

“My Lady,” Pod approached her “We will be reaching in a while. I have got your things ready.”

She nodded, and then they proceeded to disembark once they had reached the port.

+++++

“Look out for Bronn, will you,” she instructed Pod “We are to go with him to an inn, where we’ll stay the night. We will take a ship to Braavos tomorrow noon.”

“Ser Jaime would be there too, won’t he?” Pod inquired.

“Yes,” Brienne answered him stiffly, indicting that she didn’t want to entertain any more questions about Jaime.

As they scanned the busy port for the two men, Brienne heard a familiar voice behind her. She turned around, and for a second her heart stopped. Bronn and Jaime were dressed like Dornishmen, in traditional Dornish robes.

She couldn’t tear her eyes off Jaime. She had always considered Oberyn Martell to be handsome, he exuded royalty in those clothes, but Jaime belonged to an entirely different league altogether. Jaime looked--well-- _handsome_ would be an understatement. He was tall and strapping, and the rich, embroidered golden robe went well with his hair and his beard--his stubble had now grown into a full fledged beard. It reminded her of their initial days together. He had long hair then, and an unkempt beard, but despite that, his good looks and charm couldn’t be hidden. Being a Dornishman would suit Jaime, she decided.

But then she remembered her resolve, and quickly forced her mind off him.

“My lady,” Bronn greeted her. Brienne returned his courtesy, making a deliberate effort to avoid looking at Jaime. It was difficult, but necessary.

“I hope your journey was fine?” Bronn asked her.

“Yes,” she replied, without even a glance towards Jaime “Hope yours was too.”

Bronn nodded, and turned his eyes to Pod.

“Podrick fookin Payne!” he exclaimed happily “ Good to see you safe and sound. I was worried about you. Come on now, let’s go ahead and see through the arrangements, while the lord and his lady....” he paused, throwing Jaime a sly look “They’re meeting after ages, and they might want to talk.”

Much to Brienne’s discomfort, Bronn left, racing ahead of them with Pod at his heel. She was left alone with Jaime, who seemed equally uncomfortable in her presence. They walked together in complete silence for a while, Brienne glancing at him from time to time, hoping he would say something and break the painful awkwardness. To her dismay, Jaime looked everywhere, but at her.

“I’m not sharing a room this time,” Brienne blurted out, unable to hold herself any longer “Certainly not with you.” She couldn’t bring herself to share a bed with him again, only to be treated as a poor substitute for Cersei. All her anger and jealousy came back in a sudden surge at the recollection of that night, and the subsequent night that he had spent in the arms of his dear sister. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t close herself to the hurt that peaked in her, each time she pictured them both together.

“Nor am I interested in putting up with you under the same roof,” Jaime said, in an equally cold tone “Which is why, I’ve arranged for a seperate room for you.”

“Thank you,” she said curtly, without bothering to look at him. And once again, they went back to the icy silence, each trudging on, as if the other didn’t exist. _He despises me_ , she realized, her suspicion now finally confirmed. He was just here to keep his promise to her, the promise that he had made to get her safely to Sansa. She didn’t want to go to Braavos. She’d stay the night here, and tomorrow she would tell Jaime that she wanted to go to the Eyrie, while he could go back to his sister. She couldn’t bear to stand Jaime’s presence for another few days, and she was not under any obligation to bear with his unpleasantness.

+++++

They had finally reached the inn. Brienne was happy to part with Jaime’s company, and he seemed equally happy to take leave of her as well. Her room was adjacent to Jaime’s, and Pod brought her trunk inside.

“Do you need anything else, my lady?” he asked her.

“Nothing,” she shook her head “Thank you, Podrick.” Pod left, shutting the door behind him, and Brienne was finally left to her solitude.

After the tiring journey, she craved a bath. Stripping her grimy clothes off, she stepped into the tub, the water comfortably warm and soothing. As she rubbed the bar of soap against her arm, unsolicited thoughts started visiting her mind again. She was reminded of the bath she had shared with Jaime. Blushing, she recollected how handsome he was, even in the wretched, sickly state that he had been in. That was the first time she had noticed him _properly_.

She smiled to herself as she recollected her statement - _why should I care how you die?_ And moments later, he had apologised to her for his insolence, and told her that he trusted her. The way he had fallen into her arms, she blushed, as she remembered the feel of his wet body against hers. He had been weak and sick in Harrenhal, but the other night in King’s Landing--granted, he had pictured Cersei in her, but it nevertheless had been...she breathed heavily, deciding it would be better not think about that night anymore.

But the memories wouldn’t stop tormenting her. The way he had grabbed her hand at Bolton’s dinner, she still remembered the touch of his palm on her skin, it had certainly not been a romantic gesture, but the thought of it still made her cheeks burn. When he had come back for her at Harrenhal--he was a knight, that was only chivalry and it meant nothing else to him, but it had meant a lot to her.

 _Not anymore_ , she decided. She had to get him out of her head, her heart, and every piece of her body, mind and soul.

Finishing her bath, she wrapped a towel around herself and rummaged her trunk for something suitable to wear for the night. She groaned, _not that stupid gown again!_ In her anger with Jaime, she had completely forgotten to arrange for normal clothes. Yet again, she was stuck with this stupid garment, which didn’t even serve the purpose of a garment. Why did they have to make these gowns so short and plunging in the neck? No doubt, to entice men--she cringed at the very idea. Having no choice, she changed into the gown and settled down to sleep, blowing out the candles.

+++++

_There’s nothing more soothing to a tired body than a hot refreshing bath. Brienne closed her eyes blissfully, letting the warm water seep through every pore of her skin. She was in a tub, similar to the one at Harrenhal. Having finished with her bath, she got up and turned to the edge, ready to climb out, when strong arms grabbed her waist from behind, taking her by surprise._

_“Missing me, wench?” Jaime whispered seductively in her ear “You dare take a bath without me?” He pinned her against the edge of the tub, trapping her with his body. Letting his hand wander over her stomach, he teased her navel by circling it tantalizingly with just the tip of his fingernail, a moan escaped her lips as he slowly traced a path up to her chest, letting his fingers linger on, feeling every inch of her skin. Taking turns to play with her breasts, he first gave the left one a light squeeze and then the right, in exactly the way she had always secretly wished that he would, causing her to cry out in ecstasy and arch backwards into him, losing her balance. He supported her, as she stumbled into his arms, tightening his grip around her._

_“I told you,” he said hoarsely “I’m strong enough.” He leaned into her and bit her earlobe, his beard nuzzling against her skin, a wave of pleasure ripping her body apart. His fingers and his beard were killing her!_

_“S-Stop tormenting me, Ser Jaime,” her voice came out squeaky, as his hand reached between her thighs, searching for, and finally finding what he was looking for._

_“Oh I won’t, my dear,” he breathed the words into her neck, causing a shiver to run down her spine “Not as long as you call me ser” He first slid one finger into her cunt, and then another, and a spasm of pleasure rocked her entire body. She had never experienced anything like this before. She writhed against him, as he moved his fingers deeper inside her, in a slow and rhythmic manner, driving her crazy, his cock pressing enticingly against her ass. Her knees felt so wobbly, that she feared she might collapse into the water._

_“What do you want, wench?” Jaime whispered, kissing the nape of her neck, as he spoke._

_“Jaime, I want you to…” she gasped, unable to bring herself to say ‘fuck me, like you’ve never fucked anyone before’. She was way too shy to admit it._

_“I’m going to fuck you senseless,” he growled, his voice dripping with desire, as he made his intention clear “I’m going to fuck you hard and rough in this very tub, until you faint in my arms screaming my name…”_

_“Just…do it, Jaime,” Brienne whimpered, she could no longer bear the agony that his fingers were subjecting her to, and the idea of being fucked hard in the tub made matters really worse for her sanity._

_“And after that,” Jaime went on lustily “I’m going to carry you to my bed, and fuck you all night, slowly and sensually, exploring every part of your body, touching you, kissing you, and pleasuring you like no one has ever done before. I’m going to make you feel like a woman, my woman.” Taking his hand off her cunt, he went back to torturing her breasts. Gods, she loved the way his fingers played with her breasts, it drove her mad with lust “Just tell me what you want, Brienne.”_

_“Do it, Jaime,” she was now pleading with him desperately. That was exactly what she had always desired._

_He didn’t need to be told again. He pulled her roughly, bringing her hips to a convenient position, his fingers had made sure that she was slick and wet, ready to receive him, his cock was now pulsating against her, hard and erect. He took her from behind, thrusting himself deep inside her, his hand continuing to fondle her breast. He fucked her hard, increasing his pace with every thrust, their hot, wet bodies rubbing against each other. She gasped, throwing her arms backwards and caressing his neck, desperately sliding her fingers through his hair, her gasps and moans getting louder and louder with each thrust. Finding her rhythm within seconds, she moved with him, matching his pace, her core ready to explode as she screamed out his name._

Brienne sat up on the bed, panting heavily. She was alone, and embarrassed to find that she was completely wet, and her heartbeat had almost doubled thanks to her arousal. She had never had such troubling dreams before, maybe it was because she had been thinking about Harrenhal, about Jaime, just before she had drifted off to sleep. _Thank the gods, she was alone in the room!_ She just realized, that she had screamed his name out aloud. He was just next door, and she fervently hoped that the walls weren’t thin enough for him to have heard her.

This was alarming, she had fantasized about Renly before, but nothing this-- _elaborate_ , if that was the way to describe it. Just a dream, she consoled herself, it meant nothing, it was just her brain messing around with her memories of the events of a few nights earlier. That, coupled with their bathtub encounter at Harrenhal--just her brain playing tricks on her.

Clearing her head, she was about to lie down again, when she could make out a shadow moving outside the door. People, she realized, lurking just outside her room. She reached for Oathkeeper, which she had kept ready on the bed beside her. She walked to the door, and slowly opened it.

Two men pounced on her, attacking her simultaneously, but she was prepared. She took the one on the left first, striking through his heart, killing him instantly. Her skill and swordplay were no match for him. The second assassin was now behind her, and attacked her, striking her before she could react. His sword grazed her arm, but she collected herself and swung her sword on him, slicing his head off in a single strike.

She scanned the passage to check if there were any more of them, and when she was convinced that these were the only two around, she heaved a sigh of relief and sat down on the bed, not bothering to close the door behind her.

“What the fuck happened here?” Jaime had come running into the room, followed by Bronn and Pod. His expression changed from shock to concern, as his eyes fell on her bleeding arm.

“I’m fine,” Brienne reassured them, still breathing heavily “Just scraped the skin.” Jaime rushed to her side, and reached out to check her arm, when she backed away from him “I’m really fine. Pod can help me bandage the wound.”

As Podrick was helping her clean and bandage her arm, Bronn voiced the question that was on everyone’s mind.

“Who were they?” he wondered.

“Cersei,” Jaime said in a hollow voice “She knows that Brienne is with me, that’s why she sent these men to kill her.” he paused, thinking “She knew that Brienne wouldn’t have gone alone to the Eyrie.”

Then, without any apparent reason, he broke into a smile.

“What the fuck are you smiling for?” Bronn asked him in disbelief “Joke I missed?”

“Cersei thinks we’re going to the Eyrie,” Jaime said, still smiling “She’ll send more men after us, but that’ll be to the Vale, if the next lot don’t find us here. Our plan worked.”

“I’m not going to Braavos,” Brienne decided, that it was time to inform them of her change in plan “I’ll go directly to the Eyrie, I don’t want to waste anymore time--”

“Are you mad?” Jaime asked in disbelief “There are men out to kill you, and you behave childishly--”

“I am not behaving childishly,” Brienne retaliated “I just don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

“Well, you don’t have a choice, but to tolerate my unbearable ass for a few more days,” Jaime shouted back “I’m not letting you risk your neck--”

“Who the hell are you to let me do anything?” Brienne stormed at him “I don’t have to listen to anything you--”

“My Lady, he’s right” Bronn interrupted politely “I’m not trying to take his side, but we can’t risk having you go to the Vale. That’s exactly where she expects you to go next.”

Brienne tried to calm herself, it made sense to her, but another few days with Jaime was something that she was totally unprepared for. She couldn’t bear his company anymore, but there didn’t seem to be any other choice.

“Fine,” she said, resigned, talking directly to Bronn “I’ll come with you, but two days and not more than that, and then I’m out of there.”

“That’s settled then,” Bronn rubbed his hands in satisfaction, taking turns to look at Jaime and Brienne glaring at each other “We’ll need to find you a disguise, my lady.” he told her.

“I’m not--” she objected, but Bronn had no intention of listening.

“Since you’ll be travelling as his wife, the best thing for you would be a lovely Dornish dress.” Bronn declared.

Brienne gaped at him in horror. She had seen Dornish dresses-deep necklines with heavy jewellery, there was no way she going to wear such an abomination. She opened her mouth to object, but Bronn went on.

“And we need to conceal your short hair, it has become way too recognizable,” he said “How about a wig, longer hair for a change?” he suggested happily, leaving Brienne wondering what she could’ve done to deserve such a horrible fate.

 

 

*****

 

Jaime stared at Brienne open-mouthed, as she walked out of her room, dressed and ready to leave the inn. She was wearing a long flowing blue dress, typical of the women in Dorne, the deep neckline plunging way below her chest. He breathed sharply, as he took in her figure, the dress was an perfect fit, but the way she carried it was far from perfect. She walked in a clumsy and ungainly fashion, clearly uncomfortable with what she was wearing. Her hair--he almost gasped--she was wearing a blonde wig, long straight flowing hair which reached well below her shoulder, almost up to her waist. Long hair looked good on her, he decided, and in these clothes and the hair, she was absolutely unrecognizable. She looked like a real, proper woman, not exactly pretty--but a woman, nonetheless.

She was instructing Podrick about her luggage, when Bronn strode up to Jaime.

“Close your mouth, My Lord,” Bronn teased, his eyes following Jaime’s gaze “Before some insect gets into it.”

Jaime shut his mouth immediately, the disgusting possibility of a fly or a mosquito getting into his belly momentarily diverting his attention from staring at the wench.

“I wasn’t looking at her,” he justified himself.

“Were you then gaping at Podrick with such lovestruck eyes?” Bronn asked him with a straight face “I never knew you harboured such affections for the boy--”

“Don’t start again, Bronn,” Jaime warned, knowing fully well that no threat would work against the incorrigible man.

“Like what you see then?” Bronn asked him, smirking “You have me to thank for it, I came up with the disguise.” he looked at Brienne “It suits her.”

“It doesn’t.” Jaime said quickly “She’ll be the mannish, clumsy wench that I know, no matter how hard she tries to dress like a woman.”

“Yes, absolutely,” Bronn nodded in agreement “That’s why you can’t take your eyes off her, can you?”

“Yes,” Jaime said immediately “I mean, _no_ , I like her the way she usually is, her normal self.”

“So you _like_ her,” Bronn didn’t fail to note anything “Finally some admission of the truth, though just a bit of it, but it’s still a progress.” he said in an appreciating tone “And coming from you, ‘you like her’ might actually mean ‘you want to fuck her’--”

“Let’s go,” Jaime abruptly changed the subject, as soon as he saw Brienne and Pod coming towards him. Brienne threw a glare in his direction, as they made their way out of the inn.

“What happened wench?” Jaime couldn’t contain himself “The dress too feminine to your taste? Unable to carry it off?”

“Why don’t _you_ try wearing it instead?” Brienne lashed out, racing ahead of him, her gait unstable due to her new footwear. Jaime laughed to himself, torn between amusement at her predicament at being subjected to such feminine woes, and an intense admiration and attraction--no doubt, he preferred her usual look, but this dress and the long hair were a nice change, and though he would never admit it in front of Bronn, she looked _almost_ pretty.

+++++

They reached the port well on time, and when they had finally boarded, Brienne started an argument with Bronn.

“Two cabins?” she exclaimed “I told you, I cannot share with him.”

“There were only two cabins available,” Bronn tried to reason with her “Besides you’re supposed to be his wife--”

“She _is_ my wife,” Jaime said, walking up to them “And if she doesn’t want to travel with me, tell her, that she is free to board the next ship. I’ll be equally glad to stay away from her.”

Bronn opened his mouth to speak, but Brienne didn’t let him.

“Ser Bronn, please tell Ser Jaime, that I’d rather share a cabin with Podrick than with him--”

“Bronn,” Jaime said angrily “Tell Brienne, that if she’s posing as my wife, what would the world think, if she stayed with another man in the presence of her husband? She would be labelled as an amoral woman--”

“Would you both please--” Bronn started, but Brienne didn’t let him speak again.

“Ser Bronn, please tell him, that I don’t need him to judge my morals.” Brienne was fuming “I’m not going to be his wife for long, he’ll be rid of me soon.”

“Bronn--” Jaime began, when Bronn interrupted him in anger.

“Enough of this, both of you,” he said angrily, looking at both of them in turns “I’m not your raven.”

Jaime grew quiet, slightly abashed with his childish outburst.

“If you two can’t even talk to each other properly,” Bronn went on, glaring at both of them “What you need, is a good fuck tonight to get things straightened between you, so think about it!”

He left, taking their luggage and Pod with him, leaving Jaime with a blushing Brienne and an awkward silence.

They had settled their luggage in their respective cabins, when something suddenly seemed to strike Bronn.

“My lady,” he asked, turning to Brienne “How is it, that those men last night couldn’t take you by surprise?”

“I was awake,” Brienne said “I saw their shadows outside.”

Bronn narrowed his brows “Awake? It was just an hour or two before daylight. What were you doing at that hour?” he asked her suspiciously.

“I was awakened by a dream,” she squirmed, clearly uncomfortable about whatever she had dreamed of. Jaime now had a sudden curiosity to know what it was.

Bronn seemed to think the same, as he looked at Brienne, half-amused and half-curious.

“There’s an old Westerosi superstition,” he said, trying to hide a smile “They say, whatever you dream of close to dawn will come true. I hope your dream was a good one.”

Brienne blushed crimson, and left in a rush, mumbling that she needed to assist Pod with her stuff.

Bronn couldn’t wipe the smile that was writ large upon his face.

“Care to tell me what that was all about?” Jaime asked dryly “This so-called Westerosi superstition?”

“Oh, that was just a story I made up,” Bronn shrugged “I just wanted to see her reaction. Now I can pretty much guess, what she might have dreamed of.”

“Would you bother telling me about it?” Despite himself, Jaime wanted to know.

“The way she blushed, wasn’t it obvious to you?” Bronn asked him in disbelief “She fucked you in her dream.”

“That’s impossible.” Jaime felt his face grow hot “She hates me--”

“And you hate her, I know that.” Bronn nodded in agreement “Do you know, there’s this old Braavosi custom--”

“Bronn, I don’t want to know--” Jaime tried to stop him, anticipating where this was going, but Bronn didn’t bother listening to him.

“People who can’t stand each other fuck their brains out to clear things between them. I’d suggest you two try that.” Bronn advised him “And, when you do fuck her, don’t forget to do whatever it takes to make her dream come true.” he concluded, winking.

Bronn left, leaving Jaime staring at him in disbelief.

+++++

It was early evening by the time they had settled down in their rooms. To his frustration, Jaime realized that he would have to share a bed with her tonight.

“I’m not sleeping on this bed, if you are,” Brienne said curtly, without looking at him “I’ll sleep on the floor, I’m not delicate like other ladies.”

“Fine,” Jaime replied, in an equally terse tone “I don’t intend giving up the bed for you. You can do whatever you like.” Would she actually carry out her threat? Jaime decided to wait and watch, he didn’t want to let her sleep on the floor, the gentleman that he was, but he was not going to admit that to her either.

“I’m going out to the deck,” she announced, leaving the room. Jaime followed her out, and when she saw him behind her, she stopped.

“Why are you following me?” she asked him, irritated.

“It’s a free ship,” he shrugged “A free deck, for anyone who pleases to go there. That doesn’t mean I’m following you. I have better things to do.”

“Then I’d better take your leave, and not waste your precious time talking to you.”

She hurried away, leaving him staring at her in amusement. He had an unprovoked urge to pull her into his arms, pin her against the wall, and kiss her senseless. He wanted to--he stopped thinking further about what else he wanted to do to her, attempting to banish such dangerous visions from his head. He stood there, and only when he was sufficiently satisfied that he had calmed down, he made his way to the deck.

There were a variety of people from various parts of Westeros, travelling to the free cities. He saw a couple of Braavosi as well. Bronn was standing at a corner of the deck, a drink in his hand eyeing a pretty brunette. When he saw Jaime, he waved to him. Jaime made his way towards Bronn, his eyes searching for Brienne all the way, but he couldn’t find her anywhere.

“I’ve never fucked a Dornish woman before,” Bronn said, staring lustily at the brunette, who was clad in similar type of a revealing dress like Brienne. Jaime paid no attention to him, busy scanning the crowd for the wench.

“There she is.” Bronn pointed to the opposite end of the deck where Brienne was standing, talking to a tall and extremely handsome man.

“Who the fuck is _he_?” Jaime tried to hide the agitation in his voice “Brienne can’t be so stupid, chatting with random strangers. Isn’t she aware that her life is in danger?”

“She can’t be recognised,” Bronn reassured him “I don’t see a problem with her trying to make a few friends.”

“He is trying to be over-friendly,” Jaime’s voice shook. The man took Brienne’s hand, brushing his lips lightly over her knuckles “ _He’s kissing her!_ ”

“He’s just kissing her hand,” Bronn said “It’s courtesy. You did that when I introduced you to Lollys. I didn’t get all jealous and angry with you.”

“I’m not jealous,” Jaime snapped “I’m just worried, that in her over-enthusiasm she might end up giving our game away.” The man moved closer to Brienne, whispering something to her, and her face lit up with the brightest smile that he had ever seen. _She had never smiled at him like that._ His eyes not leaving them even for a second, he reached out to Bronn and snatched the glass from his hand, downing the entire ale in one go.

“Upset?” Bronn sounded amused “You won’t do anything about your feelings for her, and you won’t let her be with anyone else as well. If you can’t bear to see that--” he pointed towards Brienne and her new friend “--be man enough to accept that you love her.”

“I don’t love her,” Jaime said stubbornly “I just don’t want any more trouble after those men who tried to kill her. I’m going to put an end to this nonsense right now.”

Jaime bolted away from there, wading his way through the huge sea of people gathered on the deck for gossip, drinks and free food. Reaching them, he nudged the man on the shoulder, making him turn around. The man turned to him with a polite questioning look on his face, but Brienne glared at him.

“That’s _my wife_ you are messing with,” Jaime said menacingly, almost tempted to use his golden hand to put the bastard in his place.

“He’s not messing with me,” Brienne said, embarrassed, and then turned to her companion “And this man is not my husband, he is--”

“She’s just angry with me, I’ll make it up to her tonight,” Jaime said, still glaring at the stranger “There are many pretty women on the ship, who would love the attention of a handsome fellow like you, so why don’t you go, look around, and leave us both alone?”

The man looked shocked, but composed himself and left, giving Brienne a quick bow.

“What was all that about?” Brienne hissed, trying to stop herself from shouting at him.

“That man was getting too friendly with you.”

“I decide, what is too friendly,” Brienne fumed.

“He was only trying to get inside you.” Jaime said, raising his voice in anger.

“So did you,” Brienne shouted “When we first met, have you forgotten what you said to me then?”

“He’s not me, I’m different--”

“I’ve had enough of this evening,” she cut in “I’m going to bed,” she stormed off the deck in anger.

+++++

Jaime entered the cabin, a little apprehensive about Brienne’s reaction to his presence. He had already changed out of his Dornish robes, he was sensible enough to seek out Podrick’s help to assist him get undressed, for approaching the wench tonight for any such favour was close to suicide. In retrospection, he realized that he had probably overreacted, but that man was clearly out to have a good time with her, mistaking her for an innocent single woman, travelling alone. He suppressed a smile as he imagined the man’s reaction, had he known about Brienne’s true identity and personality.

He found her sitting in one corner of the bed, trying to reach the back off her dress, desperately trying to unlace it, but to no success, as the wound on her arm was causing her pain again.

“Need help?” he offered.

“No,” she turned away curtly “I can manage.”

“How did you get it on?” he was curious.

“I had one of the maids at the inn help me with it.” she said grumpily “I can’t imagine, how women manage such ridiculous dresses,” she muttered, more to herself.

“Listen, Brienne,” he hesitated “I probably overreacted earlier--”

“Yes you did,” her eyes flashed with anger, she ignored her struggle with the dress “What did you think of yourself, shouting at me like that?”

“That bastard only wanted to fuck you,” Jaime had forgotten that he was trying to apologise to her, anger taking over him again “It’s not my fault, if you were too stupid to realize that.” 

“And how does it matter to you, even if that was his intention?” she shouted “It’s none of your business, who I--”

“It becomes my bloody business, because I’m responsible for getting you safely to wherever you are going,” Jaime growled “That man could be enemy, Cersei’s spy.”

“I just happened to kill two assassins without your help,” Brienne reminded him “I think, I can manage one unarmed handsome man, the only man who has talked to me properly in a long time.”

“So you think he’s handsome?” Jaime asked, trying not to sound upset.

“Yes,” Brienne asserted “And, he was nice to me.”

“That’s because he doesn’t know who you are!” he was yelling now “And, what you actually look like. He thinks you’re pretty, and all he wants, is to rip this stupid revealing dress off you, and have a good time with you.”

“Thank you for reminding me that I’m ugly,” she said softly, looking at him, her eyes full of hurt .

A pang of guilt stabbed him, and he was about to open his mouth to apologise, when she stopped him.

“Before you say anything, I’m not interested in discussing this any further.” She pulled out her nightgown from her trunk, and went back to struggling with her dress.

Jaime walked to her and touched her shoulder. She tried to pull away, but he grabbed her arm. “Stay still,” he ordered her, reaching up to her back, and unlacing the dress. He was extra careful this time, not to come into any contact with her skin, painfully aware of the consequences. Besides, she had found him repulsive the last time they...so there was no point in anything really, other than sticking to the point. Once he was done, he was about to turn away, leaving her to take off the dress and change, when he noticed that the bear-wound on her neck had once again turned red and sore.

“This wound,” he frowned “I thought, it had healed, why is it still sore?”

“It’s because…” she blushed red.

“What?” he insisted.

“It’s because of you,” she said, averting her eyes from him “Your stubble, the other night, when you…”

“I’m sorry--” Jaime said, _not feeling sorry at all_. On the contrary, he felt a strange sense of achievement, and mentally cursed himself for it.

“It was an accident,” she said tersely “Now, Could please turn around? I need to change.”

He turned away, reminded of that night when he had almost lost control. He had to share a bed with her again tonight, he sighed. She couldn’t tolerate him, nor was he interested in her, taking into account the events of the last few days. But what if he had those disturbing dreams again? He shuddered at the idea of repeating something similar this time.

There was a solution. It was easy, all he had to do, was resist, and to do that, all he had to do was picture the wench’s angry face. Thinking about the way she had glared at him earlier that evening, Jaime picked one corner of the bed and lay down, hoping for a dreamless and peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't appreciate Jaime's Dornish arc in S5, but he does look hot in that costume. So I just had to have him pose as a Dornishman :)  
> The dream sequence - that was just an excuse to have me try out a JB sex scene, now I couldn't actually have them bang this early - not just yet, not until the tension peaks to maximum, so what better than a dream scene?


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to Braavos continues, and Jaime is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loads of fluff, loads of jealousy, loads of UST (this story just cannot do without it) is how I would summarise this chapter

_The handsome stranger kissed her passionately, leaving her moaning and gasping, asking for more._

_“I want you,” Brienne cried out desperately._

_The man thrust inside her, growling with lust._

_“Get off her, you cunt.” Jaime shouted, blinded by rage. He charged at them, and pulling the bastard off her, he began smashing the man’s head with his golden hand until he lay still and lifeless._

_“Jaime, you killed him.” Brienne said sadly, tears streaming down her lovely blue eyes “He was the love of my life. The only man who ever cared for me.”_

Jaime woke up with a start. He had been through uncomfortable dreams before, involving Brienne and himself, _but what the hell was this?_ He was relieved that it was just a dream, and he was in his cabin, still on the same bed, his head now pounding unbearably. He turned around and saw that Brienne was not on the bed. A jolt of cold panic hit him, causing a squeezing sensation in his chest- _had she left to spend the night with that obnoxious stranger?_ He clenched his fist, he wanted to strangle the man with his bare hand - just his left, he didn’t even need the golden hand.

He got up from the bed to help himself to a glass of water to shake the nightmare off his head, and that was when his eyes fell on Brienne, fast asleep on the floor, curled up like a child. Stubborn and true to her word, she had stuck to what she had said, even in a trivial matter such as this. Jaime took a long look at her, his heart melting at the sight of her lying there. A wave of guilt washed over him, he was the reason she had to resort to the cold, hard, uncomfortable floor. After the... _accident_ the last time they had shared a bed, she had found him so repulsive, that she preferred discomfort in comparison to spending another night next to him.

Even so, he couldn’t let her sleep there, could he? He strode over to her side and bent down, gently picking her up in his arms. No doubt, one handed it was a bit tedious, but the wench was surprisingly lighter than he had expected her to be. He didn't fail to notice, that despite complaining she still continued to wear his favourite nightgown. As he carried her back to the bed, his eyes fell on her shapely legs, the gown hardly reached her mid-thighs and the sight of her bare legs was pure torture for him. Settling her on the bed, he pulled up the sheet, covering her till the neck. She stirred in her sleep, pulling the sheet up to her chin.

Jaime took a moment to just stand there and gaze at her, her peaceful, sleeping face, free of all the concerns and cares of the world. She looked delicate, tender and vulnerable like any other woman, far from the fierce, sword-wielding warrior that he had always known. Having seen only her tough exterior, Jaime had never imagined that he would encounter this other feminine, softer side of her. Maybe what he knew all along was just a facade to the outside world, maybe this was what Brienne truly was-hard and tough on the outside, soft and feminine on the inside. He found himself craving to know more about, and explore this new side of her personality.

Undoubtedly Brienne looked prettier in her disguise, but it was her true appearance that had appealed to him, more now than before. He observed that her short hair had grown slightly longer since he had first met her, as he gently tucked a stray blonde lock behind her ear. She curled up inside the sheet, and smiled in her sleep - a lovely, innocent and contented smile. Jaime felt an inexplicable ache in his heart-all he wanted to do, was to take her in his arms and hide her from the world, from that handsome _idiot_ who she was so obviously smitten with, from those bloody assassins who were after her, from his sister, from the Starks, from all her stupid vows, from everyone and everything. He just wanted to keep her safe, close to him. Finding it impossible to resist himself, he bent down, and kissed her lightly on the cheek, just a feather-like brush of his lips on her skin.

Tearing his eyes off her, he got back to his side of the bed and lay down, turning to her side, gazing at her. What was this woman to him? Captor, Protector, best friend and now his fake-wife? She had become so much more than all that. He respected her, he cared for her, he wished her well, any man who married her would be the luckiest in the world. Then why was he so damn jealous of the stranger she had met earlier? He wanted her to be happy. If she found happiness with _that idiot_ , he should be happy for her. Why had the horrible dream upset him so much? Was it because it was that bastard Brienne was fucking, and not him?

+++++

Many hours of sleeplessness, and a couple of hours of sleep later, Jaime woke with a horrible headache and red itchy eyes that morning, a cumulative effect of his disturbed sleep pattern over the last few nights. Brienne was already up, and she was missing-gone for a bath, he assumed. Just as he was about to get up, she walked out of the bath, wrapped in nothing but a towel. Taking one look at him, she stopped dead in the tracks, and then darted back inside, attempting to conceal the state of undress she was in. Despite his groggy state, Jaime smiled to himself, his headache almost vanishing at the sight of her.

“I thought you were still asleep.” she called out from inside, in a slightly accusatory tone “If I had known, I would not have come out like this.”

“Come on, wench.” he laughed “You can come out, it’s just me. Anyway, I don’t think you have much of a choice, do you? Your clothes are here.” he added as an afterthought “I promise, I won’t stare at you.”

The door opened slowly, and she stepped out, turning red all over when she saw that he was gaping in her direction.

“Stop looking at me like that.” she chided him “This is why I…” she paused, her eyes darting towards the bath again.

“Don't worry, not interested.” he said in a mocking tone “Why would I bother staring at you, when there are so many beautiful women on this ship?”

“Then why don’t you go and pursue one of them?” she snapped “That way, I’ll at least be spared of your scathing humour.” He saw a flicker of hurt in her eyes, and was reminded that the previous night’s conversation between them had not ended well.

“You do realize that I’m joking, right?” he said placatingly “As I was, last night.”

“As you have been all this time?” Brienne asked, unmistakably upset “When have you ever said anything nice about me?”

“Brienne, you know me better than to take everything I say literally.” Jaime tried to explain. How could he tell her, that he couldn’t stop staring at her these days? How could he admit to her, that any contact with her, even the slightest was enough to get him all bothered and frustrated? How could he reveal to her, that she had been the cause for his sleepless nights?

“Turn away,” she said curtly “I have to dress.”

“Does it make any difference?” he asked, as he turned away and went back to bed, lying down again, this time facing away from her. “I’ve seen you in lesser than this, don’t you remember? Harrenhal, the bathtub--”

“That was different.” came the immediate, indignant reply “You were half-dead then, feverish and delirious.”

Jaime turned towards her. She was fully clothed now, and though she had worn the gown, she was once again struggling with the laces. For a few seconds, he amused himself by just watching her fight with the dress.

“And what makes you think that because I was delirious, I didn’t notice _anything_?” he asked her mischievously, propping himself up on his elbow.

“I...I don’t know,” she stammered, blushing slightly “I just thought that you had other more important matters on your mind then. Besides, I’m ugly, and no one spares a second look at an ugly wench like me, right?” she said, anger slowly creeping into her voice again.

“Oh, you are ugly, there’s no doubt about that.” he teased her again. In spite of trying to make conscious efforts to check himself, he couldn’t help teasing her. It was worth her wrath, just to see the look on her face. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t stare at you.” he said, his expression suddenly serious. The smile was off his face now, and he gave her an intense, impassioned look, his eyes boring into hers. She squirmed at his gaze and averted her eyes. _Gods, the way she shied away from him tormented him even more!_ All he wanted to do, was to rip the stupid gown off her and fuck her senseless against the wall. Unbidden, his thoughts went to deliberating about the most pleasurable way to fuck her-pinned against the wall, on the bed with her squirming and writhing under him, hard and rough, slow and seductive, or all of them one at a time, all through the same night? He groaned, why had he begun getting these evil thoughts again? This was nothing but an after effect of his stupid dreams.

“Need a hand?” Jaime couldn’t help offering, seeing her struggle for quite a long time. Taking her silence for an affirmation, he got to his feet to help her.

He pulled the lace of her dress tight, though one handed, he couldn’t do it by himself. It took a combined and clumsy effort from both of them to get it in place, and while he was at it, he took the time to admire her flawless back. For a woman of her strength and stature, he had never in his wildest dreams imagined that she would have such soft, feminine skin. He went back to the bed, admiring her in the mirror, as she sat down and went about the rest of her elaborate dressing-up ritual.

It was then, that she caught him stealing a glance at her in the mirror.

“What is it now?” she asked him, frowning “Please don’t tell me that I look uglier in these clothes.”

Jaime shrugged and said nothing, but continued gazing at her. She frowned, putting down the necklace that she was trying to wear.

“Why are you looking at me like that then?” she asked. He shook his head, motioning to her to get on with whatever she was doing. She was now struggling to fasten the clasp of her necklace, which was repeatedly getting entangled in her long hair. Not accustomed to dressing up, something as simple as wearing a piece of jewellery had become an extremely tedious and time-consuming ordeal for her.

Jaime stayed put on the bed, crossing his arms across his chest, watching Brienne with a look of delight on his face for a while, and then taking pity on her, he decided to put her out of her misery. Striding up to her, he gently moved her hair off the back of her neck, allowing her to fasten the necklace, all the time keeping his eyes fixed on her in the mirror. When she looked up into the mirror, she caught his eye. Holding his gaze for a few seconds, she was momentarily distracted, diverted from what she was trying to do, and ended up pricking her finger. When she was finally done with it, Jaime let go of her hair. She was about to get up, when he touched her shoulder.

“Hold on.” he said, leaning into her and straightening her necklace, letting his fingers lightly brush against her neck, his eyes never leaving her reflection, not even for a second.

“ _Beautiful._ ” he whispered in her ear, before taking his hand away.

She looked at him shyly for a moment before making her way out, and once she had left the room, he plonked himself on the bed, letting out a huge sigh.

+++++

It was a well known fact, that time moved at an excruciating pace when one had nothing of significance to do. They spent the next few days on board, eating, drinking and training, with training mostly ending in Jaime being knocked to the ground as usual, Bronn and Brienne taking turns to make sure of that.

Brienne had become quite friendly with the new stranger on the ship, and to Jaime’s irritation, he seemed to be taking an unnecessarily increasing interest in her as well. He had seen the two of them meet several times on the deck, not missing any available opportunity that they had, to speak to each other. He tried not to think of how their budding friendship might develop, for everytime he had dwelled on those thoughts, he had ended up with an irresistible urge to pound the bastard to death. He had mentally devised about fifty different ways in which he could kill the bastard, most of which involved the man meeting with a painful and violent death. The sight of the two of them together got on his nerves, and brought back memories of his terrible nightmare from a few nights back, leaving him sulking most of the time.

“I’ll take you to dinner tonight.” Jaime announced one night, as she was dressing “Just you and me, what do you say?” Bronn and Pod were out somewhere on the ship, having a good time with a couple of women they had met with over the course of the voyage.

Brienne looked uneasy at the suggestion.

“What’s wrong?” Jaime asked her, noting her expression “This is not the first time. You have dined with me before.”

“It’s just that,” Brienne paused blushing, and a surge of anger shot through him, with the realization that he wasn’t the reason for the blush this time. Not a good sign at all. “I promised Simon, that I would dine with him tonight.”

“ _Simon?_ ” Jaime asked her, despite knowing who she was referring to, and the very idea made his blood boil.

“Simon Tully.” Brienne said, her face turning redder “The tall handsome man who--”

“Who almost kissed you?” Jaime was almost shouting now.

“Please don’t do this again, Ser Jaime.” Brienne said wearily “He is one of the most decent men I have ever met.”

 _Ofcourse!_ Fake chivalry and courtesy as compared to the way Jaime had treated her when they had first met, an age-old trick to woo a woman. No doubt, she was charmed by the bloody cunt!

“Simon Tully.” Jaime repeated slowly, only now registering the name of the house  “I know all the Tullys and I have never heard of anyone called Simon.” he said suspiciously “Are you sure, he is not out to cheat you?”

“He is a distant relative of Lady Catelyn.” Brienne asserted.

“Oh, is he?” Jaime asked, narrowing his eyes “How distant, exactly?” He hoped this _‘Simon’_ was a fake and would leave Brienne alone.

“I don’t know!” Brienne exclaimed, agitated “I don’t probe into people, I believe them when they tell me something. His word is good enough for me.”

“You are so naive, wench!” Jaime let out a dry laugh “And stupid. Have you forgotten, you got us captured by the Boltons because of your tendency to believe in anyone and everyone who speaks to you nicely.” he said bitterly.

“I know, you think I’m stupid.” she said, her eyes shining with anger and hurt “And you think I’m ugly, as you have been kind enough to keep reiterating since the day we met. But there are some people who don’t think so--”

“No wonder,” Jaime’s eyes flashed with anger now “It’s for _Simon_ that you’ve been dressing up, wearing all those pretty gowns and jewellery, because that cunt thinks you’re pretty--”

“Ser Jaime.” she interrupted in a warning tone.

“He doesn’t know you.” Jaime said, anger and jealousy blinding him “That’s why he finds you so attractive. For all I know, he might be after--”

“Unlike you, he enjoys my company.” she shouted “And I’m better off spending my time with him, than with you.” she left, slamming the door behind her.

+++++

Jaime watched from a distance, lurking out of sight as Brienne was engrossed talking to Simon. He felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Stalking her, are you?” Bronn asked him with a look of disapproval on his face.

“You’re back.” Jaime observed.

Bronn made a sour face. “Not my type.” he said, sounding disappointed “I had to find an excuse to leave her. Pod seems to be having a good time though, putting his magic cock to use after a long time.” he smirked. When he saw that Jaime was not listening, he sobered up immediately.

“Still upset with that fellow courting her?” Bronn asked him “You know what to do.”

Jaime silently shook his head.

“You know I can’t, Bronn.” he said sadly.

“Why not?”

“I love Cersei.” Jaime said softly.

“Really? Do you?” Bronn asked him in disbelief “I think you need to sit in a room alone and do some thinking. I don’t think you know what you really want.”

“I do.” Jaime sighed softly “I have a responsibility towards my family-my sister, my nephew--”

“Is that what your heart says?”

Jaime knew that there was truth in what Bronn had said. Brienne was beginning to become more and more important to him, more than Cersei, more than anyone else. But their paths in life were different. He had a responsibility, and he couldn’t shy away from it.

“Yes.” he answered, knowing fully well that he was lying “My future is with my family. I have to protect Tommen. With the absence of my father, I’m now the head of the family. And even if I did want to--” he paused “--make her a Lannister, she would never agree. She is sworn to the Starks, she hates the Lannisters--”

“She doesn’t hate _you_.” Bronn said “You know that.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Jaime said, shaking his head “She can’t tolerate me, not after I’ve repeatedly hurt her. I have no intention of sticking around her for more than a few days.”

“Then stop sulking.” Bronn admonished him “If you lack the nerve to tell her how you feel, there’s no point pining for her like a forlorn lover.”

“I’m not pining for her.” Jaime lied “And I am not her _lover_.”

“You will never be.” Bronn said sagely “Unless you get your ass up there and do something about it. If you don’t, that handsome cunt is going to be fucking her tonight.”

“They’re not there.” Jaime said, suddenly noticing “They’ve left. She’s gone with him.”

“There is nothing you can do about it now.” Bronn said sympathetically “Talk to her later, and do it soon.”

Jaime sat there alone, brooding for a long time after Bronn had left. Finally deciding that it was time to get back to his room and retire for the day, he went back with a heavy heart.

+++++

The room was empty when he reached, the wench was probably in that bloody Simon’s arms, and for all he knew, she may not be a maiden anymore. Trying to steer clear of all such disturbing thoughts about Brienne, he decided to take a warm bath first, and then try to get some sleep. His dreams had been giving him sleepless nights, and he desperately needed some rest. Nothing like a hot bath to soothe the body after a hard and stressful day.

He stripped himself of all his clothes, it had taken him a tremendous amount of effort and hell of a lot of time to do it single handed. Once divested of every piece of clothing, Jaime entered the bath. Absent minded, he failed to notice the figure coming towards him, right in front of him. He collided with Brienne, and slipped on the wet floor falling headlong into her, taking them both crashing to the floor. He wound his arms around her waist and tried to break the fall with his stump, making sure he took most of the hit, protecting her from the impact.

In the pale glow of the candlelight, he could see that she was completely naked. Her warm, wet body was pressed against his, and he felt his cock spring to life again. He groaned to himself, why did he have to be aroused in the most uncomfortable and awkward situations every time? His right arm stung badly, he was hurt somewhere, but despite the pain, he couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes off her, let alone make an attempt to get off her. She had clung to him for support, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, her breasts pressed against his chest, and her lips just inches away from his. A trickle of water ran down her neck, he had to fight down a burning desire to lick it off her skin.

“Ser Jaime,” Brienne whispered, blushing and squirming under him. The blush was spreading across her neck and chest as well, and his pulse quickened at the sight of it. What would it be like to take her then and there? He remembered the feel of her lips on his, the last time they were trapped in a situation like this. What would it be like to kiss her again? And this time if he happened to kiss her, he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop at kissing. He would go all the way, he wanted to feel her body, to touch her, taste her, to be inside her. His eyes fell on her mouth, and the scar over her upper lip, he wanted to find out what would her mouth feel like around his coc--

“Ser Jaime,” she called out again, breaking him out of his embarrassing reverie, shyly indicating with her eyes that it was time for him to get off her. It was only then that he realized that his arm was bleeding. He had hit himself on a sharp edge on the floor, the impact had been particularly severe because he had ended up supporting her weight as well.

He got to his feet slowly and painfully, his legs numb due to the fall, and gave her his hand to help her up. Despite his pain, he couldn’t stop himself looking at her from top to toe, absorbing every inch of her body, creating a mental image inside his head. He knew he was shamelessly staring, but there was nothing he could do about it, he didn’t even bother trying to avert his gaze. She blushed deeper, and quickly pulled out a towel from a nearby hook and wrapped it around herself. It was then, that she noted that he was bleeding.

“Your arm,” she said, concerned, taking his arm to check the extent of the wound. “Come on, let me look at it for you.” He followed her to the bed. She got a piece of cloth, and sat next to him to clean his wound.

“This is what we end up doing most of the time, don’t we?” Jaime sighed, and when she gave him a questioning look, he went on to explain “One of us is hurt, and the other tries to patch it up. _What would we do without each other?_ ”

She said nothing, and just smiled. Jaime decided to broach the subject that had been nagging him for a long time.

“I thought you were with _him,_ ” he asked her slowly. He had to know.

“Simon?” Brienne looked up at him “I told you. I was only planning to dine with him. Once we had finished, I came back up here.”

“Mmm” he nodded, secretly happy that nothing had transpired between them. Nothing _yet_.

“What were you thinking?” she asked him, conscious of the awkward situation that they still were in “Barging in on me like that, when I was bathing?”

“I didn’t know you were back here.” he said sheepishly “I thought... you were away, spending the night with that man.”

Brienne looked livid “What made you think so?” she snapped at him, angry all of a sudden “Do you think I am some cheap--” she didn’t say the word ‘whore’, but he was sure that’s what she meant “--who would jump into the arms of any man who was pretty and fuck him?”

Jaime should have been offended, she was shouting at him, but instead her outburst made him- _happy?_ The principled woman that she was, she had no intention of bedding that bastard, his heart did a little dance inside his chest hearing this, but the next statement that she made flattened all his hopes.

“That doesn’t mean, I will stop meeting him.” she said shyly, her entire demeanour changing “I like him. He treats me nicely, he treats me like a woman. He seems to be a nice person.”

“I offered to do that too, remember our first meeting?” Jaime said sourly “You refused. I wanted to treat you like a woman.”

“A walking, talking bundle of nothing but mockery and sarcasm, that’s what you are.” Brienne said dryly “That is the difference between you and him. He doesn’t always mock and taunt me like you do, every single minute of our time together.”

“You barely know him.” Jaime objected “How can you defend him?”

“Some people _can_ be nice, it's obvious when you meet them the first time.” she said “And you are _not_ one of them, Ser Jaime. All you’ve ever done is mock me, taunt me, and hurt me.”

“What is it between you and him?” Jaime asked finally.

“I don’t know.” Brienne admitted “But I do know that I like him.”

“And what about your vows?” Jaime reminded her “Your quest to find Sansa?”

“Rest assured, I won’t abandon my duties.” she replied curtly.

“You can’t meet this Simon again.” Jaime said indignantly.

“Try stopping me.” her blue eyes flashed fire, as she pulled out her nightgown and stormed into the bath to change. When she reached the door, she turned around.

“Maybe you ought to put on some clothes.” she said severely, throwing his clothes at him before shutting herself inside.

+++++

_“Not so hard,” Jaime called out “You’ll scrub the skin off.” Brienne was violently scrubbing the bar of soap on her arm, when he entered the baths._

_“What are you doing here?”_

_“Need a bath.” he said, stripping himself and moving towards her side of the tub._

_“There’s another tub.” she said, backing away to the end._

_“This one suits me fine.” She was upset with him, and he knew exactly what to do to cheer her up._

_Noticing that he was about to get in, she hurriedly stood up and was about to get off the tub, when he blocked her path and climbed into the tub with her._

_“Still angry with me?” he asked gently “Let me make it up to you.”_

_Taking her in his arms, he kissed her like it was his last day in this world. She tried to push him away first, resisting, but then she succumbed to him, kissing him back, releasing all the pent up desire and frustration that had been buried inside her for all these years, her anger momentarily forgotten. Abruptly breaking the kiss, he let go of her, leaving her unsatiated and sat down in the water, casually leaning against the edge of the tub._

_Taking her hand, Jaime pulled her down into his arms, so that she could straddle his lap. Brienne started kissing him this time, a hungry desperate devouring of lips, sparring of tongues and gnashing of teeth. In a fit of passion, he bit her tongue, she winced but it had only left her gasping for more. She moved closer into him, winding her arms around his neck, her breasts pressing against his chest. She took his cock in her hand and began stroking it, gently at first and then--_

_“Stop it, wench.” he growled, placing his hand on her wrist, unable to stand the sensation “If this is the way you go about it, I don’t think I’ll last long.”_

_Brienne guided his cock towards her entrance and when he thrust inside her, she cried out in pleasure. Jaime buried his face in her chest, kissing and caressing her breasts. The half-moaning, half-gasping sound that she made when she was aroused drove him crazy. He fucked her slowly, taking his time, both of them matching their pace, moving together, until they became one. Gods, it was heaven! With a shudder, she collapsed in his arms, her head on his chest. She gave a contented sigh, and turning up to him, she captured his lips, kissing him again. When they broke for air, she moved her mouth to his neck, his chest and further down until he was beginning to grow hard again._

_“That was a nice way to apologize, Ser Jaime” she whispered coyly, her mouth still pressed to his skin, kissing and licking every bit of him “But you hurt me, and you still deserve your punishment.”  She took his cock in her hands and began stroking it, leaving him burning with lust, and the desire to fuck her hard against the edge of the tub._

_“Oh no, you won’t,” Jaime whispered, clamping his hand on her wrist, stopping her again. Not like this, he wanted to fuck her all night, slowly and seductively at first, and then rough and hard until the only thing she ever remembered would be his name, and the feel of him inside her. He would make her forget Renly and that Simon, or whatever his name was. He carried her to his bed, painfully aroused at the thought of a million different ways in which he could fuck her, about a hundred of which involved a bathtub--_

There it was again, despite his embarrassment, Jaime couldn’t help but think this was the most amazing dream he had ever had. _What was it with him and bathtubs?_ Ashamed of such lecherous thoughts, he considered himself fortunate that Brienne was fast asleep next to him, and he thanked the gods that he had not screamed out aloud in his arousal. As long as Brienne was around him, he had now given up all hopes for a good night’s sleep.

The only thing he was positive about was that tomorrow they would reach Braavos, and that would be the last Brienne would ever see of that fucking bastard Simon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally intended to have much more content, but it went on too long so I had to split it into two. So that means, one fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) one more chapter added to this story!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the previous chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written this chapter in a distracted frame of mind :( so any mistakes or errors, it's just an after-effect of my muddled brain!

Having finally made it to their destination, they were soon on their way to their accommodation for the next few days. Bronn had arranged for them to stay at an inn near The Purple Harbour, as according to the Braavosi, the best inns were to be found there. Much to Brienne’s annoyance, once again Bronn had made arrangements for just two rooms, his logic-Jaime and Brienne were a married couple and if they had to carry on the lie, they had to share a room. Resigned to the fact that the entire stay was going to be like this, Brienne decided to play along with the plan, and made her way to their room along with Jaime.

That was when she spotted him.

“Lord Tully!” she exclaimed, unable to contain her delight “Simon!”

“Lady Lollys!” Simon exclaimed, rushing over to her side. Out of the corner of her eye, Brienne saw Jaime give her a shocked look.

“Lollys?” Jaime mouthed wordlessly, looking at her in stunned disbelief. Brienne looked at him, her eyes pleading with him to stay quiet. Unable to think of suitable aliases, she had told Simon that Jaime was Lord Adric Dayne, distant cousin of Ser Arthur Dayne, and she was his wife Lollys.

“Lord Tully, if you don’t mind, I’d like a word alone with my wife. So please excuse us for a minute.” Jaime said, pulling Brienne to a side.

“You told him what?” Jaime asked her, half-amused and half-exasperated “That’s an utter load of shit. I knew Ser Arthur Dayne. He never had a cousin named Adric. There’s a limit to cooking up fake identities.”

“But he believed me.” Brienne said triumphantly.

“That’s because he is an ignorant idiot.” Brienne scowled at him, but he was not done yet “And you are impersonating _Lollys_?” Jaime shook his head, still bewildered at the ridiculous extent to which she had lied “Wait till Bronn hears about this.”

“I couldn't think of any other name” Brienne said sheepishly.

“What the hell is this fellow doing here?” Jaime looked at Simon as if there was nothing in the world he wished for, more than to strangle him to death “I thought that was the last we had seen of him. Has he come stalking you here?”

“These are the free cities, he’s allowed to stay in the same inn as us.” Brienne made a face  “That doesn’t mean he’s stalking me. It’s just a pleasant coincidence.”

“It’s neither pleasant, nor is it a coincidence.” Jaime muttered irritably “There’s something wrong about that fellow that I can’t quite put my finger on.”

“I told you he’s a nice man--”

“He believed you so easily when you lied that I’m Ser Arthur Dayne’s cousin.” Jaime said sourly “Even an idiot would’ve known that no such person exists. Which means,” Jaime paused, a look of panic flashing across his face “He knows who we are. That’s why he cares a damn about whatever nonsense you fed him. No Tully worth his education would believe the shitload you just fed him.”

Jaime was just exaggerating. That couldn’t be true. Simon didn’t seem to be the assassin type. If he had wanted to harm her, he could’ve done so easily. He had plenty of opportunities, and even if he did attack her, Brienne could’ve easily put him down. What was Jaime so worried about? It was nothing but his bias against Simon from the beginning that was raising such doubts in his mind. She went back to where Simon was waiting, with Jaime following her grumpily.

“Care to meet me sometime for a drink and dinner?” Simon asked her. Brienne nodded happily, choosing not to pay attention to the foul expression on Jaime’s face. She didn’t need his approval to decide whose company to keep.

It was almost dusk by the time they had put their stuff in the room and settled down. Brienne began dressing for dinner. She smiled to herself, looking forward to meeting Simon. She heard a noise, it was Jaime clearing his throat trying to attract her attention.

“Are you sure you want to meet him?”

Brienne was tired of the same old conversation. No doubt, Jaime had been proved right earlier, but everyone was not an assassin, and not everyone was out to harm them.

“Ofcourse, any reason why I shouldn’t?” she asked casually.

Jaime frowned “Isn’t his presence here too obvious to be a coincidence?”

Brienne chose not to answer that, for she found no reason to doubt Simon. It was all in Jaime’s head.

+++++

Over the next few weeks of their stay at the inn, Brienne found herself meeting Simon almost every day. She found him to be pleasant, easy to talk to, and someone who didn’t care about her ugly looks or her manly stature. _He was so unlike Jaime_ . Despite spending so much time in his company, Jaime was still a mystery to her, highly unpredictable. He had never missed a chance to taunt her, criticise her looks, and ridicule everything she did. At the same time, there was something in his attitude which seemed to say that he was--she wouldn’t go as far as to think that he was _attracted to her_ , but the way he had looked at her that night, when she had bumped into him in the bath, it seemed to suggest to her that maybe… but no, it had just been him looking for Cersei in her, the separation from his sister having taken taken its toll on him. It had nothing to do with Brienne being Brienne, she realised, her heart sinking.

Brienne had made up her mind that she would continue meeting Simon. He was a Tully, a Stark ally and they were both on the same side. And she liked him, so who knew, if things worked out favourably between them...

She was to meet Simon that night for dinner, and her mind was buzzing with excitement. Jaime was nowhere to be seen, maybe out at the bar sharing a drink with Bronn, or probably training with him. Since the day she had met Simon, all she heard from Jaime was taunts about Simon, comments on how suspicious Simon sounded, or that his only intention was to take her to his bed-to make her his conquest.

The absence of Jaime’s snide remarks bombarding her as usual when she dressed was a welcome relief. _But where had he been all this while?_ Had he met someone at the inn? Her mind was at once crowded with a hundred possibilities. Jaime was not the type of man to be whoring around with any woman he met, but she had seen him a few days back laughing and chatting cheerfully with a pretty blonde. So what if… As these thoughts cluttered her mind, Jaime entered the room.

“Off to meet the new _prince_ in your life?” he asked with a bitter smile on his lips, mockingly stressing on the word ‘prince’.

“And what about you?” Brienne shot back angrily “I saw your eyes stray towards that beautiful blonde earlier. How would you explain that?”

Jaime gave her an amused look. Gods, she must have sounded like a jealous maiden of sixteen, and his observant eyes would have seen through her expression. She hated the way he could read her like a book.

“I have no such intentions towards her.” he reassured her, throwing her a charming smile, the smile which had always managed to set her heart aflutter.

“Even if you do, it’s none of my business.” Brienne said, trying her best to sound indifferent, though it did prick her somewhere deep down. How could he tell her off Simon, when he himself went around the bloody place chasing pretty blondes? First on the ship and now here, seeing Jaime with other women irked her.

“You do know where my loyalties lie.” Jaime gave her a look which stated the obvious. _Cersei._ Ofcourse, as he had been so kind enough to keep reminding her of her place in his life so often.

“I know.” Brienne gave him a short nod and left.

+++++

“So how did you consent to marrying this Lord Adric?” Simon asked her sympathetically “He seems to be the surliest man I’ve ever met. Handsome, but grumpy and brooding. He doesn’t seem to be your type.”

Brienne smiled. Simon was right, Jaime was far from her type. She preferred chivalrous heroes like Renly, not arrogant, rich, daddy’s boys like Jaime. But somewhere down the line, Renly slowly made his exit, and her heart seemed to be occupied more and more with thoughts about the arrogant daddy’s boy who she hated so much in the beginning.

“It was an arranged marriage.” she sighed “My husband is in love with someone else, he has been for the last sixteen years. He was forced to marry me for--” she hesitated “--reasons that can’t be discussed.” she realized, that she was telling him the absolute truth “He doesn’t love me, and that’s why we have now decided to get the marriage annulled, and moreover,” she added, with a twinge of jealousy in her heart “He deserves to be with the woman he loves.”

“And I think, you deserve better than a man who has no value for you and eyes for another woman.” Simon said, gazing into her eyes. Brienne downed her third drink. She had never had more than a sip of wine at her father’s place, and this was nothing in comparison. The ale here was much stronger that anything she had ever consumed, and she felt light headed and somewhat bolder than usual.

Simon leaned into her, their faces now barely apart. Was he going to kiss her? Brienne was nervous, but didn’t pull away. But did she really want to do this? She felt herself blushing, remembering her first kiss. It was not a real kiss, but it had been… her heart leapt at the memory of Jaime’s lips on hers, the euphoria that had surged through her at the touch of his fingers on her body. She found herself responding to Simon, and just as his lips were about to touch hers, she heard a familiar voice.

“Stop!”

Brienne looked up and saw that Jaime had pulled Simon to his feet.

“Stay away from her, _Lord Tully_.” Jaime spoke calmly, but the undertone of rage in his voice was unmistakable. She saw a look of cold fury in Jaime’s eyes, as he fixed Simon with a death stare. For a moment, Brienne got the horrible feeling that the two men might pull out their swords and pounce on each other. The dislike was mutual.

“My Lord,” Simon addressed Jaime politely “I have no intention of forcing myself on your wife. She has been equal party to whatever you were about to witness.”

“I would rather prefer, that you _don’t_ go ahead with whatever I was about to witness.” Jaime’s voice turned even more menacing.

“If you don’t love her, and have no intention to stay married to her, then I don’t see any reason why…” Simon objected, his tone matching Jaime’s.

“Brienne.” Jaime said softly, walking to her side of the table, completely ignoring Simon now. His expression was unfathomable, and his voice had an odd note to it that she couldn’t quite place. She got to her feet, anxious that Jaime might turn this into an unpleasant encounter. She was about to ask him politely to leave, when he took her hand in his, taking her completely by surprise.

“I love you, wench.” he said, gazing deeply into her eyes, his eyes shining with a wide range of emotions.

Brienne was taken aback, but knowing Jaime, she knew better than to believe him. He had made a fake declaration of his love for her before, and this was again one such similar act. He just wanted to keep her away from Simon. She was about to admonish him, and  tell him to put an end to the show, when he took a step closer to her, his eyes still fixed on hers.

“I’ve been such a big idiot, Brienne.” he huffed a little laugh “All the time I thought I loved _her_ ,” he sighed “It was actually you that I have always been in love with.”

Brienne swallowed, wondering how to react to this. It had gone a bit too far now. But Jaime just went on and on.

“You brought out the good in me. You made me the man I am today.” he gave her a loving smile “What would I be without you?”

_Was he acting? Or was he--_

“I have been stupid enough not to realize where my heart truly lies.” Jaime went on, his eyes still holding her gaze “I have loved you for a long time, wench…” he sighed “I don’t know since when, but I just wanted to tell you before it’s too late.”

Brienne felt a lump in her throat. Had she not known that this was untrue, she would’ve cried.

Jaime moved closer to her, intruding into her personal space now. His proximity always had an annoying effect on her heart, causing it to thump harder than usual, almost threatening to burst out of her ribcage. He kissed her softly, and she felt a warmth spread through her body at the touch of his lips on hers. A second later, he let go of her and turned to Simon.

“If you still feel he’s a better man for you, then I won’t come between you both.” Jaime said, still speaking to Brienne “But if, even in a remote corner of your heart, you feel something for me, if you feel--”

He paused to take a deep breath, and then continued

“If you feel that I am worthy of you even a little bit and if you ever change your mind about me, I will be waiting for you with open arms.” he said tenderly “You will always have a place in my heart, Brienne. Just say the word, and I am yours.”

Then he turned around and made his way back, leaving her with Simon.

Why the hell was he doing this? Tugging at her heartstrings, when there could be no positive outcome of this. Brienne was distressed and the drink wasn’t helping, it had left her mind with tangled thoughts that only added to her confusion. She then remembered about Simon’s presence and turned to him. Simon gave her a strange look, as if trying to read her mind.

“Jaime,” she called out without thinking, not knowing why. Probably the drink, probably her incoherent mind trying to comprehend whatever had just transpired.

Jaime spun around immediately. “Yes, my lady?” He was back at her side in an instant, his eyes looking hopeful. _Hopeful about what?_

“I don’t feel too well.” she said in a small voice. She didn’t lie, she did feel slightly dizzy, though completely in her senses, she decided three mugs of ale were a bit too much. Added to that was the after-effect of this so-called declaration of love. She could manage herself fine, but she felt the need for his comforting presence.

“You’ve had too much to drink. Nothing that a good night’s sleep can’t sort out.” Jaime said soothingly, taking her arm “Come along, I’ll escort you back to the room.”

The minute they made it to the room, Brienne sank into the chair in front of the mirror with a heavy sigh. She hated this daily routine of dressing and undressing. She took off her jewellery, and was about to undo the laces of her gown, when she saw Jaime stride across to the door in a hurry.

“I should be going. I have got to...” he said, carefully avoiding her eyes “I have to speak to Bronn. You have a good sleep.”

“A little help here?” she called out, pointing to her back. He walked back to her reluctantly and began helping her with the laces. They went about it quietly, Jaime completely silent, not looking at her even once in the mirror, and Brienne not knowing how to respond to his silence.

“Done.” he said- _was that relief in his voice?_ He turned to leave, when she abruptly grabbed his sleeve. He turned around, puzzled.

“What was all that about?” she asked him, suddenly angry and frustrated with his behaviour downstairs.

“I told you.” he murmured, still not meeting her eyes “I don’t approve of that Simon fellow. He’s not a Tully. I am completely sure about that, I just can’t prove it right now.”

“You can’t bear to see me happy, can you?” she said, her eyes shining “You marry me, but continue to fuck your sister. But the moment you see me with someone else, your bloody honour comes into the picture.”

Jaime looked at her surprised “Brienne, When did I fuck--”

“You can’t tolerate seeing your wife with another man, can you? That’s your problem, that’s the problem with all you men.” Brienne went on boldly, not bothering to allow him to speak. It was now or never, and she had speak her mind “What would people say? What would happen to the Lannister family honour?” she fumed, not quite in control of what she was speaking.

“That's your ale talking.” Jaime said, his tone still calm “Sleep now. We can discuss this in the morning.” He extricated his arm from her grip, and turned to leave.

“No!” she cried out, grasping his arm again and yanking him closer to her. She gave him a long hard look, her blue eyes piercing his green. Without thinking, she jerked his head close to hers and kissed him fiercely.

A second later, she pulled away, her face on fire at the realization of what she had done.

“I’m sorry...” she stammered, lowering her eyes, ashamed of her inability to control her impulse “I shouldn’t have…” She turned away from him, not daring to see his reaction. Hurriedly clutching her dress which now completely undone at the back, dangerously down to her chest and threatening to fall further, she ambled to the bed to change into her nightgown. _Gods, she could never look him in the eye now!_ What the hell would he think of her?

She stood there stunned, rooted to the spot for a second. Composing herself, she was about to take off her dress, when she felt a hand on her arm.

“Brienne.” he breathed in her ear.

Jaime’s mere touch was enough to send a shiver down her spine, enough to cause her entire body to explode, enough to make her feel like a maiden rather than the fierce warrior that she was. She could sense his closeness and his warm breath on her bare back stirred unspeakable feelings in her. He slowly moved his hand up to her shoulder and caressed her back. Shaking slightly at his touch, Brienne ached for him. She yearned for more. She wanted him, and she wanted him so badly that it hurt. His moved his hand further down her back and grasped her waist under the dress, as he turned her to face him, trapping her between himself and the bed.

For a few long moments, neither of them said a word. Jaime just stood there, his eyes fixed on hers with a look of unmistakable passion. Brienne was still holding on to her dress, which was now lower than she would've been comfortable with, but she didn’t care.

He placed his hand on her cheek, running his thumb over the scar on her upper lip and then slowly moving it along her lower lip, looking at her as if she was the only being in the world that he had ever desired. Brienne closed her eyes, taking in the feel of his closeness, absorbing his touch within her, her lips parting slightly in anticipation of what was to come.

And it came. Soon enough, his lips were on hers and he kissed her tenderly, focusing his attention first on her scar, and then moving down to her lower lip, nibbling it lightly. He seemed to be taking his time, wanting to taste and feel her. Brienne wished that the moment would never pass, that they could stay like this forever, that this be reality rather than a hopeless dream that would never come true.

She opened her eyes when he broke the kiss and looked at him longingly. _If this was a dream, then she didn’t want to wake up!_  She didn’t want him to stop, she wanted him tonight, she wanted to hide in his arms, damn the world and damn the consequences.

“Jaime,” she whispered, placing her hand on his neck “Stay with me.” She sat down on the bed, and pulled him close to her, her hands sliding down to his chest, unbuttoning his robe. Shaking with nervousness, she slowly rid him of his robe and his shirt, moving to his trousers next.

Jaime clamped his hand on her wrist “Brienne, are you sure?” he asked her hoarsely. She nodded in affirmation. Seconds later, they were both on the bed, her dress lying at the foot of the bed, forgotten. He had her pinned against the bed, his body on top of hers, and he was kissing her furiously. She opened her mouth, allowing him access and he thrust his tongue in so hard, that she let out a gasp. His hand was on her neck, feeling every inch of her skin and caressing her, as it slid further down to each of her breasts lingering there for a painfully long time, touching them, stroking them, squeezing them, torturing her so much that she feared she would lose her mind. Unable to control herself, she cried out, consumed by lust the moment he touched her breasts.

His mouth still exploring hers, he slid his hand between her thighs, moving upwards in a slow and tormenting way, increasing the desperate need that was rapidly building up between her legs. Taking her lower lip between his teeth, he gave it a light tug. Brienne moaned loudly, unable to bear it anymore, and wrapped her arms around his neck, sliding her fingers through his hair. Her  nails scraped his scalp, the contact eliciting a lusty growl from him. Jaime’s fingers were now in her cunt, steadily torturing her, the ache within her building up to a peak that she could stand it no more. Pulling down his trousers, she reached for his cock that had sprung up in all its glory.

As if struck by a bolt of lightning, Jaime let go of her and got off the bed immediately .

“I can’t do this.” he backed away from the bed, averting his eyes from her. He hastily pulled up his trousers, and groped around the bed for his shirt “I… we are going to regret this in the morning.”

He made for the door while making a clumsy one-handed attempt to button up his shirt. Before shutting the door behind him, he turned around.

“You should get some sleep, Brienne.” he said hoarsely, and left.

Brienne sat on the bed, slowly pulling her dress back up to her shoulders, still in a state of shock. _Always_ . He _always_ sought Cersei in her during these moments. This had been an emotionally weak moment, and like her, Jaime too had been blinded by desire, and as soon as better sense prevailed over him, as soon as he realized that it wasn’t Cersei that he had been intimate with, he left her.

Ashamed and embarrassed with what she had done, Brienne lay down staring at the ceiling as usual, swearing a vow that she would never drink too much again. She thanked the gods that they had not gone all the way this time as well. If they had, they would both have to face the consequences the next morning, and there would be nothing left, but heartache.

 

*****

 

“Who the fuck is it?” Bronn muttered, opening the door with a sleepy and irritable look on his face. He had his sword in his hand, ready to strike in case of need. His expression changed when he saw Jaime, and he looked concerned.

“What the fuck are you doing here at this hour?” he asked, as Jaime sauntered past him “And where is--”

“She’s in the room.” Jaime said bluntly “Sleeping.”

“And…?” Bronn looked at him suspiciously “That still doesn’t answer my first question.”

“I need to sleep here tonight.” Jaime tried to hide the warm flush that was creeping up his neck and face. But Bronn seemed to guess, for nothing ever escaped the man’s keen, prying eyes. He gave Jaime a good look, taking in his half buttoned shirt, clumsily worn trousers and… he seemed to notice something else too.

“You look all--” Bronn searched for the right words “Hot and bothered. Aroused. Did something--”

“No, nothing happened.” Jaime snapped. Bronn had this notorious habit of jumping into half-baked conclusions. “I just need a bath. I’ll be fine.”

“Go ahead, and better make it a _cold_ bath.” Bronn smirked “We’ll talk after you--” he paused, looking at Jaime’s trousers “-- _settle down_.”

Jaime glared at him, but said nothing and plunged into the cold water, trying to will his mind away from Brienne. The wench seemed to dominate his very existence now, and this was getting more and more dangerous-for her mission and for his life. Tonight had been another big blunder, she had been emotionally vulnerable, a direct consequence of her drunken state. She had clung to him seeking comfort in his arms and that was just it. There had been nothing more to it than that. He just couldn’t bring himself to take advantage of her in such a state, it didn’t matter that he wanted her badly, it didn’t matter that it had taken every bit of his resolve and will power to break away from her. His conscience just didn’t permit him to get close to her tonight. He was certain that she would regret it tomorrow, when she met that cunt Simon again.

The two men sat there, talking late into the night.

“You told her that you love her?.” Bronn asked him. Jaime was surprised at the absence of a smirk or a mocking look on his face “Do you know the effect that this might have had on the poor lady?”

Jaime shrugged “She knew it was just an act--”

“No wonder she wanted you in her bed.” Bronn said accusingly “You gave her a thread of hope and cruelly snatched it away. You’re the biggest cunt I’ve ever known, Lannister.”

“It’s that Tully cunt that Brienne is interested in, not me. Don’t blame me. I had to do that.” Jaime said defensively “I had to get her away from that idiot. I’m damn fucking sure that he’s not a Tully. He’s after her for a reason, and I want to know why. I’m getting the uncomfortable feeling that he’s Cersei’s spy.”

“It’s you who’s being an idiot.” Bronn chided him “Think logically. If he had to harm Lady Brienne, he could’ve done so easily in the ship. Why wait so long and try to get close to her? He genuinely likes her.”

Jaime found this explanation perfectly logical, but his heart didn’t want to see any sense in it.

“Brienne is slowly falling in love with him.” Jaime said in a low voice, his heart sinking in despair at this inevitable outcome “And I just…” he swallowed “I just don’t want her to come to any harm.  I can’t stand to see her get hurt.”

Bronn just shook his head in resignation.

“I am going to find out who this Simon Tully is.” Jaime went on “I want to find out, and I want to do it before it’s too late, before Brienne succumbs completely to his charms.”

“You’re just jealous, my friend.” Bronn spoke the uncomfortable truth again “Admit it.You ache for her, and you cannot bear to see her with anyone else.”

Jaime opened his mouth to speak, but Bronn didn’t let him.

“And before you start ranting about how you don’t love her, and how she doesn’t love you, your family, your responsibilities, her quest, her oaths,” Bronn paused for breath “Just take care, that you don’t end up hurting her, because it’s not that Tully cunt who matters to her, it’s _you_!”

“You didn’t see her with him.” Jaime said sadly “She was about to kiss him.”

“And in return, you went and pledged your undying love for her?” Bronn asked dryly “Where I come from, that’s called jealousy.”

“It’s called caring for a friend, for that’s what she is to me.” Jaime retorted “And I’m going to expose this bastard soon.”

“Fine.” Bronn said impatiently “Friend or love of your life-we’ll soon see what she is to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just happened to have a conversation with a friend, and we hit upon the subject of slow burns being painfully telling on the reader's patience. That has started giving me second thoughts whether I should keep going with this story.  
> I'd like to know from you all, particularly those of my friends who have been reading this consistently, considering this is going to be a really really slow romance, will you be interested in reading till the very end? Should I continue posting?  
> I'm going to be mostly faithful to show canon, and this story goes deep into S7, with a fruitful culmination of the romance coming only at the very end. I don't want you guys to feel cheated, so I'd like to know if you're still interested. Do let me know!  
> A few things I can promise you-  
> 1\. A happy ending (obviously)  
> 2\. Love declaration  
> 3\. The Bang  
> Sorry for the rant and apologies that this chapter has not turned out as well as I would have liked it to be :(
> 
> P.S : Adric is the result of a Doctor Who episode that I was watching last night ;)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne decides to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much friends for all your comments. It has been quite enlightening to read different opinions.  
> Firstly, to those who liked the story and have stood by me, deciding to stay on board - thanks a ton for your kind words :) You are a big source of encouragement for me.  
> To those who have commented that the story is getting frustrating, or stretching too much - I'd go with my friend Julie's advice, you could probably stop reading now, and wait for me to finish. After that, if you feel like, do check it out again. If you still don't like it, it's fine, because not everything is everyone's cup of tea. I still thank you for reading so far :)  
> To those who have suggested alternate storylines or scenes, while it did definitely make an interesting read, I'd hate to disappoint you by saying that I'm not planning any changes to the story. It will go on as I had originally planned. Thanks for the suggestions, though. It was fun reading them :)

Sleepless nights had become a routine of sorts for Brienne, for this morning as well she was left with a severe headache and her heart weighing a ton heavier than normal. Since that fateful night, she had been constantly thinking about what had happened. It had been partly her fault. She had been the one to kiss Jaime, swayed by his sweet romantic words like a hopeless, love-struck maiden, despite being aware of the harsh reality. And like any other man, he had succumbed to her advances, though all he had ever wanted, was Cersei in his arms. They had both behaved like a couple of young sixteen year olds, immature and blinded by lust and the effects of intoxication. They had not talked about it, choosing to pretend that nothing had ever happened, but the memory made her cringe with embarrassment and regret, each time it touched the surface of her mind.

She needed some fresh air and decided to get out of the confines of the inn to beat the suffocation. Leaving the ridiculous dress and jewellery behind, she dressed in her regular clothes-her tunics and trousers complete with her armour and Oathkeeper at her belt. She felt like herself once again. She didn’t care anymore about being recognised. She was done with the fake identity.

Walking around the city with no specific aim or purpose other than to distract her mind, she wandered about Ragman Lane, when she heard a sing-song voice behind her.

“Oysters, clams and cockles!” It was a young girl, about fourteen years of age, slender in build, with dark hair and mischievous, twinkling eyes. There was something about her that appealed to Brienne, and she approached her.

“Oysters, My Lady?” the girl asked her. Brienne nodded.

“What’s a high-born girl like you doing in a place like this?” Brienne asked her, surprised.

The girl just smiled, going about her business without answering the question. Brienne liked her at first sight. There was a definite appeal about this girl that made her feel that she was stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The girl took in Brienne’s appearance. “When I grow up, I would like to be like you.” she said, looking at Brienne admiringly.

“I’m sure, you will grow up to be a fine young lady.” Brienne said.

“I am no lady.” the girl snapped, and Brienne had to suppress a smile “I can wield a sword.” the girl went on “My brother gifted me one. I have had the necessary training.”

“What is your name?” Brienne asked her, liking her more and more by the minute.

“Oh, I’m just no one.” the girl shrugged casually “An ordinary girl with an Oyster cart making her trade, that’s all.”

“Where are you from?” She definitely didn’t seem to be an ordinary girl, and Brienne was now sure that she didn’t belong here.

“From across the Narrow Sea.” the girl answered her vaguely, before abruptly changing the subject “That’s a Lannister sword.” she observed, looking at Oathkeeper, her face wearing an expression of unmistakable distress “The Lannisters destroyed my family.” she muttered under her breath, but Brienne had heard her.

“I am not a Lannister--”

“There’s my regular customer, I have to go” she said, pointing behind Brienne. Brienne nodded and took her leave, lost in thought as she walked through the lane, when something suddenly struck her.

 _The girl said she was from Westeros. What had she meant- the Lannisters had killed her family?_ _She had to know more about her. Could she have been…?_ She retraced her steps, only to find the girl gone, disappeared into the crowd. Brienne searched the entire lane desperately, but could find no sign of the girl anymore.

With a twinge of disappointment, Brienne realized that if her guess had been right, she had just found and lost Arya Stark. Once again, she had succeeded in failing Lady Catelyn. But she would not fail Sansa. This meeting with Arya was an eye-opener for her not to waste any further time. It was time to put Jaime Lannister behind her, and get her life back on track.

She had made up her mind. Tomorrow, she would sail for Westeros.

+++++

There was a knock on her door “Lady Brienne?” It was Simon. They had not spoken after that _incident_ , and Simon was not aware of what had transpired between Jaime and her that night, _Thank the Gods!_ She opened the door to let him in, wondering what his purpose of visit could be.

“I came to say goodbye.” he said “I am leaving today.”

“Leaving?”

“Yes, but before that I have something to say to you, my lady.” Simon said, giving her a warm smile “To ask something of you.”

 _What could he possibly want from her?_ Brienne had become tired of men wanting to dictate her life, and she would not allow it again.

“I don’t know how to tell you this…” he stammered “I am in love with you.”

Brienne’s jaw dropped hearing this. She didn't know how to react to his confession, and her confusion may have clearly shown on her face, because the next thing that he said made this quite obvious.

“If you love your husband--”

“He is not my husband.” Brienne said hastily. Something inside her snapped when he mentioned Jaime “I don’t love him, nor does he love me.” She was done with the consequences of making Jaime a part of her life-real or fake. Henceforth, she didn’t want to have anything to do with him at all.

But Simon deserved to know the truth about her. “My Lord, I am not who you think I am.” she confessed. To her surprise, there was no change in Simon’s expression. No look of shock or bewilderment.

“I know, Lady Brienne.” he said, still smiling at her warmly. Seeing Brienne’s eyes widen with shock, he continued “I also know that your _husband_ is Ser Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer.”

“How do you know all this?” Brienne asked, panic rising in her chest. Who was this man? And what did he want with her?

“I had seen you at Riverrun.” Simon revealed “During the War of the Five Kings, when you were there with Lady Catelyn, when king Robb was still alive. I fought for King Robb.” he turned red “I have fancied you ever since.”

“You fancied me?” Brienne laughed “If you had said anything else, I would have believed you, but don’t you think that this is a little too far-fetched?”

“Yes I did.” he said seriously “You have shown far more courage and honour than most men I have known, you are a far better knight than any of them.”

Brienne simply gaped at him, refusing to believe him.

“You have to believe me.” he said earnestly. Brienne searched his eyes, there was no sign of deceit, he seemed to be honest. “When I came to know, that you had married the Kingslayer--” he paused, the look of distaste evident on his face “I hate the Lannisters for what they did to the Starks, the treacherous, honourless, conceited bastards--”

“Ser Jaime had no part in any of it.” Brienne quickly jumped to Jaime’s defence, despite trying to stop herself “He is one of the most honourable men I’ve ever had the privilege to know.”

“Honourable? He is a Lannister--” Simon started, but Brienne wasn’t done yet.

“He has saved me in more ways than anyone can ever imagine.” she was unable to hide the smile that was playing on her lips at the recollection of those memories “You would never understand, Lord Tully.” she said softly.

“The Kingslayer? Really?” Simon asked in disbelief.

“ _Jaime_.” Brienne corrected him subconsciously “His name is _Jaime_.” Simon gave her an odd look “And I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

Simon let it go, and continued with his tale “I had given up all hopes of ever seeing you again. But it was nothing but pleasant coincidence that we met, and I couldn’t believe my luck. When I first saw you on that ship, I had instantly recognised you. I wanted to meet you, to get to know you better.”

Brienne still couldn’t believe him “Tell me what your true motive is, why have you been pursuing me?”

“To marry you, my lady.” he said “If you still doubt me, you can ask your friend Bronn or your Kingslayer-husband to find out about me, I’m sure the Lannisters have their resources. If I have lied, you are free to kill me.”

“How did you survive the Red Wedding?” Brienne found herself wanting to know more about him.

“I was a friend of King Robb’s, and also his cousin.” he sighed “Long before that fateful wedding, he had sent me to Winterfell to find his brothers and rescue them. I was on my way, when I came to know that Bran and Rickon had been killed by Theon.”

“What are you doing here in Braavos? Why aren’t you with the rest of the Tullys?” Brienne asked him.

“I don’t see eye to eye with the Blackfish. He has never treated me like family.” Simon said sourly “My cousin Robb was the only one who recognised me as a Tully. I have been faithful to him till the end. My loyalties lie with the Starks. The North is meant to be ruled by the Starks, and I’m here, biding my time until there is a new King in the North.”

“I’m afraid, I still cannot trust you.” He sounded genuine, but Brienne was unsure “If you are faithful to the Starks, then why have you not been looking for the Stark girls?”

“I had news that they were dead.” Simon said “But I still won’t give up looking for them.”

_He didn’t know. And she wasn’t planning to tell him that both Sansa and Arya were alive. Not while she still doubted his credibility._

“My Lady,” Simon went on “Maybe one day you will choose to trust me, when you truly believe that we are both on the same side.”

Brienne couldn’t help liking this man, despite her suspicion.

“This is what I am in reality, you do know that, right?” Brienne asked him, pointing to herself “The woman that you have been seeing all these days was not me.”

“I do.” Simon said, taking her hand “And it is your true self that I desire, Lady Brienne. I ask again, would you do me the honour of being my wife?”

Brienne pulled away her hand gently “I’m sorry, I don’t know you and I can’t trust you yet.”

“You have known me for weeks, and I have told you the truth about my identity.” Simon tried to convince her “Unless you are in love with the Kingslayer--” he paused thoughtfully “--that night pretty much gave me the feeling that you might be… If that is the case, then you have my word, I would never pursue you again.”

“I am not in love with him.” Brienne said at once.

“What about him?” Simon asked her, carefully studying her face “What about everything he said that night? What was all that, if he is not in love with you?”

“That was just a sad, cruel joke.” Brienne said in a hollow voice.

“Then what is the reason for your refusal?” Simon asked her hopefully.

Brienne took a deep breath. First that encounter with Jaime, and now this. She seemed to be having a bad time with men everywhere.

“My lord, I am bound by an oath, and I will be off on a mission soon. Marriage and men have no place in my life now.” Brienne tried to put him off by being truthful “I cannot commit to a marital relationship, so I cannot accept your proposal.”

“Well then, when you do succeed in your mission, give it a thought again.” he said, giving her a bow “I’m sure we will meet again, and I hope you will be convinced of my loyalties then.”

He left, leaving Brienne standing there in absolute silence. Her recent experience with Jaime had left her with a firm resolution, that there would be no place for men or love in her life anymore. The last thing she wanted was another heartbreak. First Renly, and then the ill-fated tryst with Jaime, she couldn’t deal with yet another… She was sure, she would never meet Simon again, if and when she did, she would deal with it later.

+++++

“Brienne?” Jaime called out tentatively as he entered the room. Brienne got to her feet, uncomfortably aware of his presence.

“Ser Jaime.” she nodded politely.

“What was _he_ doing here?” Jaime asked, turning to the door with a look of irritation on his face.

“Nothing that might concern you. Did you find anything on him?” Brienne asked him coldly, ignoring his question “You were so desperate to prove him a villain.”

Jaime shook his head “No, I didn’t. He seems to be okay, and he probably is speaking the truth.” he accepted reluctantly. _Was that disappointment on his face?_ “You haven’t answered me, Brienne. Why was he here?”

“I don’t have to answer you. I have had enough of this life.” Brienne tried to maintain her composure “I am leaving for Westeros tomorrow. I have whiled away enough time here.” _How much she yearned to tell him that she had met and lost Arya!_ He had been the only one she could ever confide in, but now was not the time. Not when she wanted him out of her life.

“I am not here to stop you.” Jaime said “That’s the reason I came to speak to you. Sansa is in Winterfell, married to Ramsay Bolton--”

“Bolton?” Brienne was shocked, she had to hurry, or the girl would end up suffering a fate worse than death.

“I would still like to know why Simon was here.” Jaime persisted, getting back to Simon “I just want to know because I don’t want you to come to any harm. I care for--”

“Ser Jaime,” Brienne said in a polite, but firm tone “If you cared for me even a bit, you would not have said whatever you told me that night.”

“What happened that night was a big mistake.” Jaime sighed “Both of us were emotional, it had been a weak moment, and we just got carried away.”

_A mistake. Ofcourse. I’m not Cersei, that’s my mistake._

“None of that would’ve happened if you had not come between Simon and me.” Brienne said, her eyes shining “You have hurt me, Ser Jaime, in every possible way one ever can.”

“You know I had to do that,” Jaime said wearily “Else that Simon--”

“ _That_ _Simon_ wouldn’t have done anything wrong.” Brienne said indignantly “He would’ve asked me to marry him, had you left us alone that night. And _that Simon_ was not the one who had hurt me.”

“What do you mean?” Jaime looked shocked.

“I mean exactly what I just said.” Brienne blushed “He loves me, he knows who I am and despite that knowledge, he wants to marry me.”

“He doesn’t love you,” Jaime burst out “He’s just lying…”

“Why would he lie?” Brienne asked him bitterly “Not everyone is like you. You think it’s a lie, because you find the notion of a handsome man like Simon falling in love with an ugly woman like me preposterous.”

“That is not what I meant, Brienne.” Jaime said softly “What did you tell him?”

“That I’ll think about it.” she avoided his eyes, and looked at the floor instead.

“You didn’t refuse him?” Jaime asked angrily “How can you trust him?”

“He seemed sincere enough to me. Had I not been on this quest…” Brienne paused “I might have accepted his proposal. He wants me for who I am.”

“Do you love him?”

“I like him.” Brienne said truthfully “And he is a worthy match in every possible way. But I have my priorities now, so maybe one day I’ll think about it.”

“How can you be serious about this man?” Jaime asked in exasperation “I think--”

“What you think doesn’t matter anymore, Ser Jaime.” Brienne said firmly “All this while, I have only been doing what you have wanted me to, playing your game, having my heart broken many times--”

“I care about you Brienne, I would never break your heart.” his voice was almost a whisper.

“Unfortunately, that’s what you have been doing all this time.” Brienne said, her voice choked with emotion “You have taken me for granted, having spared no consideration for my emotions or feelings.”

“What did you expect me to do, fuck you when you were drunk?” Jaime said, exasperated “So that you would hate me in the morning? I know, I’m not as honourable as you expect me to be, but I do have a bit of honour left that would never permit me to take advantage of a drunk, vulnerable woman.”

“You lied to me that you love me.” _She could never forgive him for this._

Jaime sighed “For that, I’m sorry.”

_He was sorry. That was all he could say. Sorry. What else did she expect?_

It was time to bid him goodbye. “Thank you for everything that you have done for me, Ser Jaime, and I sincerely hope that you have a good life.” Brienne said. _Please don’t go, a part of her cried out. But alas, she would now have to let go of that bit of her now. For her own sake._

“If it makes you feel any better, I would never dream of hurting you on purpose.” Jaime said softly “Regardless, I still apologise and I wish you luck for your quest.”

Brienne nodded “Goodbye, Ser Jaime.”

“If you choose to marry Simon,” Jaime went on in a strangely calm tone “I hope you have a good life with him. And don’t worry, I won’t ever interfere in your life again.” He turned to leave.

“One last request, Ser Jaime,” Brienne called out “Please get the marriage annulled as soon as you get back to King’s Landing.”

“I will, at the earliest.” he promised her “I hope, the next time we meet--”

“There won’t be a next time. I don’t think, we will ever meet again.” Brienne said in a low voice, shaking her head, “And I hope we don’t. This is the end of our journey together.”

“Goodbye, Brienne.”

And he was gone. Forever. Out of her life.

 

 

*****

 

 

She was gone. Forever. Out of his life.

That was the last he would ever see of her. Jaime sat on the bed, his heart filled with despair. He could never meet Brienne again, not when she had made it so clear that she didn’t want to. She despised him. She had every right to, he couldn’t blame her. This time he had gone too far, he had always been one to act first and think later, without evaluating the consequences of his actions. In his jealousy and rage to keep her away from Simon, he had been an idiot to go and tell her that he loved her, without giving it a thought that she was drunk and the emotional impact that it could’ve had on her. He had been utterly selfish, expecting her to comply with everything he had demanded of her.

Bronn was right-he had been the biggest cunt there ever could be, and the damage this time was irreparable. How he wished he had restrained himself! But it was too late now. _He would gladly give his left hand to go back and set things right, if he could_. Much to his annoyance, he had found nothing on Simon, and the man seemed to be genuine. Jaime had to reluctantly agree, that he was a perfect match for Brienne. But somewhere deep down, a remote selfish corner of his heart couldn’t help hoping and praying that she never met Simon again.

“A raven arrived from King’s Landing.” Bronn entered, breaking the train of his thoughts “A message from your sister.” he said, handing Jaime a letter.

How did Cersei know that he was here?

The letter was terse and scribbled in a hurry.

_Jaime, they killed Myrcella. They murdered our baby girl. They’re sending her body back. I am in the clutches of the High Sparrow. They have Margaery too. And I fear for Tommen now. I need you Jaime, your family needs you, your son needs you. Help me. I am sorry for everything. Come back. I love you._

Jaime crushed the letter. They had murdered their child, his favourite child. The daughter he had always yearned to call his own. His eyes filled with tears of rage. His family needed him, a flash of guilt ran through him, they were in trouble and he was here when he should have been by their side. The wench would be leaving tomorrow. Beyond that, there would be no purpose for him here. Ofcourse, there was one consolation to this-Cersei had given up chasing Brienne. Their purpose of coming here was achieved despite the numerous other tangles and complications that it had resulted in.

“We are leaving for King’s Landing right away. We will take the next ship out of here. Make the necessary arrangements.” Jaime’s voice shook, as he instructed Bronn “Has Brienne left yet?”

“Not yet, they sail tomorrow--”

“Send Podrick in to meet me, will you?” There was one last thing that he had wanted to do before Brienne left him for good.

“Don’t you want to say goodbye to her?” Bronn asked him.

“There’s nothing left to say anymore, Bronn.” Jaime said, his voice cracking.

Bronn gave him a long look, then nodded silently and left. Soon enough there was a knock on the door.

“Come in.” Jaime called out, knowing that it had to be Pod.

“Ser Jaime, you wanted to see me?” Podrick entered, shutting the door behind him.

“Take care of her, Pod.” Jaime told him, coming to the point directly “Write to me from time to time, tell me of her progress, and if she is ever in any kind of trouble, or if she needs anything, I should be the first one to know.” _He would always be there for her, whether she liked it or not._

“I will, Ser Jaime.”

“Farewell, Podrick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming to Simon, When I first thought of this character, I was in two minds-good or evil? But then making him an assassin or someone just out to woo Brienne for her inheritance didn't seem much fun to me. I wanted a real proper worthy suitor for her, one who likes her and respects her for who she is, someone who was equal match for Jaime and who would actually make him insecure (sorry Tormund fans!)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime gets back to King's Landing and has his hands full, meanwhile Brienne makes her way to Castle Black.

Jaime was shocked beyond measure when he set eyes on Cersei. He had almost failed to recognise his sister. Hair cut short and a hardened look on her face, what could have happened to warrant this transformation? Cersei burst into tears as soon as she saw him. He sat her down and made a feeble attempt to console her, but what words of solace could he offer to a mother who had lost her child? Cersei then began lamenting about Myrcella.

“She was good.” she said, tears flowing down her cheeks “She was nothing like me, no meanness, no jealousy. I don’t know where she came from.”

“She was my daughter, and I failed her.” Jaime said, heartbroken and guilty that he had been unable to do anything for his child.

“I knew this would happen. The witch told me years ago.” she went on to tell Jaime about the prophecy “Everything she said came true, you couldn’t have stopped it.”

“Fuck prophecy, fuck fate,” Jaime said angrily “And fuck everyone who isn’t us. We’re the only ones who matter in this world. And everything they’ve taken from us, we’re going to take back, and more.” he took her in his arms and pulled her close.

“My son has prohibited me from attending my own daughter’s funeral.” she went on “I’m afraid Tommen will soon fall under the High Sparrow's spell. I don’t want to lose my last surviving child to the Faith, Jaime!”

“I’ll speak to Tommen.” he said gently.

“Promise me that you’ll never abandon me again, Jaime.” she whispered into his chest “You are the only one I have left after Tommen. What would I do without you?”

“I won’t leave you.” Jaime assured her “Ever.”

+++++

“Don’t you know yet, my lord?” Qyburn asked him in surprise. He told Jaime about the Walk of Atonement and how they had humiliated his sister, parading her naked through the streets. The first thought that came to Jaime’s mind was to find the High Sparrow and his band of the so-called Faith Militants, and plunge his sword through their hearts to avenge his sister’s disgrace.

But when he thought about it with a calm and rational mind, a question struck him-who had allowed these religious fanatics such unlimited power over the crown? How did everything suddenly turn upside down in such a short time after his father’s death? His sister was the only one who could provide him with these answers.

“You had the High Septon imprisoned and made this old cunt the Head of the Faith?” he exclaimed in disbelief when Cersei told him about all that had happened in his absence “And you entrusted the bloody Faith Militants with such power? Were you out of your mind?”

“I wanted to get back at Margaery.” she said bitterly “And that old bitch of her grandmother.”

Jaime couldn’t believe her “That girl is your daughter-in-law.”

“Oh, there’s no love lost between us.” she snapped, but then her expression softened, as if on second thoughts “Jaime, I thought you had came back home for me, to support me.” she said, breaking down again. _Gods, she had always been his weakness_. Unable to see her cry, Jaime took her in his arms, patting her head comfortingly.

Despite his grief for his daughter, and the rage that had been building up inside him along with the urge to avenge his sister’s humiliation, Jaime couldn’t help thinking about Cersei’s mistakes, and the fact that she had been busy making enemies in her insane quest for power. _How were they ever going to deal with the consequences of her decisions?_

+++++

Much to Jaime’s dismay, the funeral didn’t turn out well, with him and the High Sparrow ending up threatening each other. The old man had warned Jaime that the Faith Militant and its soldiers had nothing to lose, and with their strength, the Faith had the power to ‘ _overthrow an empire_ ’. Though Jaime was reluctant to admit it to himself, the whole exchange had unnerved him. He had been outnumbered one-to-many in the sept, and there was nothing he could do except stand there watching, while the old fool subtly intimidated him. And to add to his disappointment, Tommen had stuck to his ridiculous decision to confine his mother to the Red Keep, preventing her from attending her daughter’s funeral. He had tried knocking some sense into the king, but to no avail.

For a fleeting second, Jaime’s thoughts flew to Brienne for no particular reason-life with the wench had never been unpleasant or tedious despite the many complications that had arisen out of their ill-fated marriage. Nor had it been ridden with such seemingly unsolvable problems. For the first time in his life, though he didn’t want to accept it, Jaime needed someone to pour his heart out to, someone who would hear him out, and instead of sympathising with him give him blunt, honest advice. He longed for a friend more than anything else, and she had been the only friend he had, apart from Bronn. Now she was gone. He realized that he missed her, and was reminded of the moment when he had almost lost his will to live, and that it was Brienne who had pulled him out of his self-pity then. _How he wished that he could write to her of his problems and seek her advice!_

“What have you decided about the annulment of your marriage?” Cersei’s voice broke into his thoughts as she walked into his chambers “I hope you are aware that the filthy old man is the only one with the authority to do it.”

“I know.” Jaime agreed, letting out a little sigh. He had been thinking about it since his arrival. But now, he feared that his altercation with the old man may just have made matters slightly difficult for him.

“On what grounds are you planning to seek annulment?” Cersei asked him “If you want to present a convincing case, you would have to build an effective argument.”

“I’m going to cite the reason that this marriage was a sham, nothing but a political agreement. And that father had pressurised us.” Jaime had mentally run through this a million times “Neither me nor Brienne were inclined towards it, and it was done against our will, not to mention the threat to her life.” he finished, hoping it sounded convincing.

“Against your will?” Cersei repeated mockingly “And you still cared enough for each other to consummate the wedding more than once? Isn’t that surprising?” her voice dripped with sarcasm.

“I _didn’t_ consummate the wedding.” Jaime confessed, deciding that it was time she knew the truth “It was just a show that I had to put up to convince your _spy_.”

“Don’t lie.” Cersei countered.

“I’m not lying. If I had not done that, and if father even had an inkling about it, Brienne would’ve been dead by now.” Jaime said, equally enraged “You tried to kill her as well. First the poisoning, and then the assassins in Dragonstone.” he said accusingly.

“What else was I supposed to do?” Cersei asked, her tone filled with desperation “You lied to me and abandoned me.” she paused “I love you, I was jealous of her.”

“Then you should’ve known that I would come back to you. As I always do.” Jaime said, hurt by her lack of trust in him “That I would never abandon you. Why did you doubt me, Cersei? You’re the only one I have ever been loyal to.”

Cersei looked at him for a few seconds, and then her expression changed “I’m sorry. I should not have gone to that extent.” she said softly, flinging her arms around his neck  “I know I am the only one you love, and I completely trust you. I should have known that you would _never_ fuck another woman. Will you forgive me, Jaime?” she asked, and then pressed her lips to his without waiting for an answer. To his astonishment, Jaime found himself unable to kiss her back. He had been longing for this moment, to be back in the arms of the woman he loved. _So what the hell was wrong with him now?_

“What’s the matter with you?” Cersei broke the kiss, her smile replaced by a frown “Missing that ugly cow already?”

“Her name is _Brienne_ . Call her by her name!” Jaime chided her “And I wasn’t thinking about her.” he lied. But he had to admit that there was nothing but absolute truth in Cersei’s words. Since the day he had arrived in King’s Landing, he couldn’t keep his fucking mind off Brienne. _I’ve been used to her all these days, just the comforting presence of a friend. That’s all there is to it._ He would be fine. He had been reunited with the love of his life, what more could he ask for?

“I’m just a little worried.” he breathed heavily, trying to cover up the actual reason for his lack of interest in her “I wonder how the old fanatic is going to react when hears of my request.”

+++++

“Do you expect me to believe you, ser, that you haven’t yet consummated your wedding?” the High Sparrow asked him suspiciously “How do I know that it’s not a ploy of yours and your sister’s to set your wife aside?”

“Because of the simple reason that it is not.” Jaime explained patiently, irritation slowly creeping into his voice “And what does my sister have to do with all this?”

“If I may remind you again, Ser Jaime,” the High Sparrow said coolly “Your sister’s trial for incest is still pending. And till the time she is proven innocent, the doubt still remains.”

Jaime’s blood froze, as he could guess where the old bastard was going.

“If she is proven guilty,” the High Sparrow continued calmly “you too are--”

“ _If_ she is proven guilty...” Jaime interrupted, not wanting to hear the rest of the unpleasant truth.

The High Sparrow shook his head “I might have believed you, if the maid in question-the witness in your case had not given evidence to the contrary.”

Jaime was shocked. The maid had gone against Cersei? Ofcourse the maid had to believe what he had shown her, it was not the poor girl’s fault, the intention of the whole act had been to convince her.

“She claims to have run into you and your wife enjoying marital bliss to the fullest extent possible, while your statement mentions exactly the opposite.” the High Sparrow said smugly “Do you mean to imply that she lied to me?”

“No.” Jaime said, deciding to be honest “She only saw what I showed her, and that was not the truth. You have to believe me. It was all an act that I was compelled to put up to convince--” he couldn’t say _‘Cersei’_ “--my father that the marriage had been consummated. Brienne’s life would have been in danger at the hands of my father if I had not done that.”

“A noble cause, but I’m afraid I cannot take your word for it without suitable evidence. The only person who can now convince me, is your wife.” the old man was stubborn with his refusal “If she corroborates your statement, then I can proceed with the annulment, otherwise I am helpless.”

“She can’t be here.” Jaime didn’t even want to think of the possibility of summoning Brienne to King’s Landing for this.

“She has to testify. If that’s not possible, then I’m afraid nothing can be done.” the High Sparrow said firmly “ And before you think about threatening me again, Ser Jaime, be warned that if you do that, I will _make sure_ that your sister is proven guilty of incest. I have enough evidence to support the claim.”

Jaime was stunned into silence. There was nothing he could do. Nothing at the moment at least.

“Now if there is nothing else that I can help you with,” the old man said dismissively “I need to get back to my prayers.”

+++++

“How dare the bitch lie to him!” Cersei was seething with anger when Jaime told her of his exchange with the High Sparrow “I’m going to--”

“You will not harm the girl, Cersei.” Jaime said firmly “She’s innocent, and as far as she was concerned, she spoke the truth.”

“She belonged to me.” Cersei spat “I had told her what to say.”

“You were humiliated by these Faith-bastards,” Jaime tried to reason with her “If you were in her place, and if you feared your honour, who would you obey? For all I know, the girl might have been threatened with the same fate that befell you, and she did what she could to save her skin.”

Cersei fell silent “What do we do now?” she asked him quietly “As long as you are married, you cannot join the Kingsguard again.”

“Let’s wait for the trial, and let’s hope that you are proven innocent.” Jaime said, though not too confident about it “After that, I’ll think of how to solve this problem. I’m sure there will be a way out of this.”

Jaime groaned internally as he pictured Brienne’s expression if she came to know of this. She would kill him. His mind once again raced back to the wench. Where was she? Had she reached Winterfell safely? Had she rescued Sansa? Quite often, he found himself praying for her safety, which was alarming considering that he never prayed, nor believed in any of the gods. While no news could definitely mean good news, he kept a watchful eye on the ravens hoping for some communication from Pod, something that might give him the hope that Brienne was alive and well.

 

 

*****

 

 

For the first time in her life, Brienne felt a sense of achievement. After endless hours of watching a window, she had finally managed to rescue Sansa from the monster who called himself her husband. They had successfully fled from Winterfell. She had also executed Stannis-Renly had finally been avenged, and her mind was at peace now.

They were on the way to Castle Black-she had decided to escort Sansa to her brother Jon, where the girl would be safe. Sansa was tired and traumatised all through the journey, so she wasn’t much company for conversation, so Brienne was mostly left talking to Pod or alone with her thoughts. And in her solitude, she found herself thinking constantly about Jaime. How was he doing? Was he happy to be reunited with Cersei? Ofcourse he would be happy, she realized with a pang. Had he forgotten about her? She was annoyed with herself. She cared about him, so she should’ve been glad that he was back to the woman he loved. She should’ve been satisfied that she had achieved her purpose. Instead, she was left with a strange sense of emptiness inside her, which was mainly due to the absence of Jaime Lannister in her life. All her fault really, why did she have to get so used to his presence around her, when she had always known that one day they would eventually go their separate ways?

They made it to Castle Black without further incident, the gates were opened for them and they entered with Sansa looking around here and there, her eyes nervously searching for her half-brother. As they rode through the gates, Brienne caught a wild looking bearded man with red hair staring unabashedly at her. She didn’t like the glint in his eyes, there was something _lecherous_ in his stare. Brienne averted her eyes, ignoring him and focussed her attention on Sansa instead. Getting off her horse, Sansa stopped when her eyes fell on Jon Snow and flung herself into his arms once she got over the initial shock of seeing him. An emotional reunion later, they were shown around the castle by one of the brothers of the Night’s Watch.

“Who is that man with the red hair?” Brienne asked the brother, trying hard to conceal the disgust in her tone. This was one person she had to make sure she stayed away from.

“That’s Tormund Giantsbane.” he replied “He’s a wildling, but he’s on our side now and the freefolk have been of great assistance to us.”

+++++

They had gathered at the table for dinner, when Brienne was in for a surprise.

“Lord Tully?” she exclaimed, spotting a familiar face among the men in black. Simon Tully looked up, his handsome face lighting up with a huge grin as hurried across to meet her.

“Lady Brienne,” he greeted her, taking her hand and kissing it “I never thought I’d run into you again so soon, and that too in a place like this.”

“I’m here with Lady Sansa.” Brienne said happily, delighted to meet Simon “But I didn’t know, you had taken the black.” She had not given much thought to his proposal of marriage, but the idea of him joining the Night’s Watch somewhat disappointed her.

“I am not a brother of the Night’s Watch, my lady.” Simon answered her with a mischievous smile. He leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear “How could I join them, when I had made a proposal to you?”

Brienne felt a warm flush rise up her neck, and she decided to change the topic “What brings you here then, my lord?”

“I’m here to give my support to Jon Snow.” he said sincerely “Though not my true-blood cousin, he’s still a Stark. I’ve pledged my allegiance to him.”

Brienne nodded, genuinely glad to see him here.

“I’m still waiting for your answer, Brienne.” Simon said, gazing deeply into her eyes “My feelings for you are still the same.”

Brienne sat there thinking. Now that she had fulfilled her vow, and Sansa was safe, what was the harm in considering Simon’s proposal? After all, she had a duty towards her father, towards Tarth, and Simon was an ideal match for her in every possible way. He even liked her and respected her for the woman she actually was. She recalled that Jaime didn’t approve of him, but Jaime’s approval no longer mattered to her. Why should it bother her if Jaime disliked Simon? She would never even see Jaime again, so what difference would it make? _And who the hell was Jaime Lannister to have a say in her decisions?_ It was her life, and she would do as it suited her. And Simon Tully suited her just fine.

“Give me some time.” she said “I have to think about it.”

“That’s a more positive answer than the last time we spoke about it.” Simon said, smiling “You’ve given me hope, my lady.”

 

 

*****

 

 

_Ser Jaime,_

_Hope you are well. I bring you good tidings, Lady Brienne has rescued Lady Sansa and we have finally made it to Castle Black where Lady Sansa is safe with her brother. I thought I should write to you to let you know about this._

So the wench had managed to fulfil her vow! Jaime felt a sudden surge of pride for her. He had not expected her to find Sansa alive, let alone escort her safely to her brother. There was more in the letter, but a growing sense of irritation and displeasure filled his heart as he read on.

_Lord Tully is also here at Castle Black, he is not a brother of the Night’s watch, but is here in his capacity as a Stark ally. He has pledged his support to Lord Snow. I must also tell you that Lady Brienne has been happy to see him here, and spends most of her time in his company…_

Jaime looked up from the letter. _What the hell?_

He read further, his anger and frustration increasing with every sentence. Pod had gone on and on about how Brienne had daily sparring sessions with Simon, how they spent their mealtimes chatting with each other, and more on how she was _extremely happy_ to be spending her time in his company.

Jaime clenched his fist, crushing the paper into a ball and flinging it away in anger. At this rate the cunt would end up marrying Brienne sooner than he had feared, and they would even have had a few children by the time Jaime met her again, _if he ever met her again._

Brienne had made it extremely clear that she didn’t want to see him. It had been his fault, though he had acted as the situation demanded, and she had misunderstood his actions. He shouldn’t have got too close to her-that was a big mistake. But all that was in the past and nothing could be changed now. It was best to put her out of his mind, and let her be happy with whoever she chose to spend her life with.

“What’s the matter?” Bronn’s voice called out “You look like you’ve eaten a bloody lemon.”

Jaime didn’t answer.

“Missing her?” Bronn asked, without context.

“No!” Jaime replied immediately.

“I never mentioned _who_ .” Bronn narrowed his eyes “So you _have been_ missing her badly! But why the sour expression?”

“A letter from Pod.” Jaime decided to be truthful. Bronn would anyway come to know, nothing could ever be hidden from him.

“Podrick fookin Payne!” Bronn exclaimed happily “What does he say? How’s your lady?”

“She’s no longer my lady.” Jaime said flatly, a disturbing image of Brienne in Simon’s arms flashing through his mind.

“So, you do admit that she was your lady once?”

“Ofcourse.” Jaime said, irritated “She was my wife.”

“She _is_ your wife.” Bronn corrected him “What happened to the annulment plea?”

Jaime narrated the tale of his confrontation with the High Sparrow, and the outright rejection of his request. To his surprise, Bronn was smiling.

“Exactly which part of all this do you find funny?” Jaime asked him irritably “I’m still married to her, I cannot get back to my normal life, and I can’t join the Kingsguard again. And as an added bonus, the wench will kill me the day she comes to know that we’re still married.”

“Don’t you see it?” Bronn asked, still smirking “Even the Gods don’t want you both to be seperated.”

“I don’t believe in the Gods!” Jaime barked.

“I know.” Bronn said, the smirk now turning into a wide grin “But that doesn’t matter to the gods you see, and they’re the ones writing your fate. So no matter how hard you try--”

“I don’t believe in fate. I’m going to appeal again after the trial.” Jaime said adamantly “If that doesn’t work out as well, I’ll find another way to end this damned marriage.”

“You can try, that’s all you can do.” Bronn said coolly “I’m just interested in seeing where this leads--”

“I’m going to try my best, that’s for sure.” Jaime interrupted vehemently “I love my sister.”

“I know.” Bronn agreed “That’s why you have been burning with rage ever since you read that letter. What’s in it that has made you so angry?”

“It’s that Tully cunt. I can’t believe that he has ended up in Castle Black.” Jaime said, gritting his teeth “I wonder, has he been stalking Brienne?”

“Ah,” Bronn said, giving Jaime an understanding look “So jealousy strikes again. But you love your sister, don’t you?” he asked Jaime innocently “Why should Simon Tully’s interest in Lady Brienne matter to you?”

+++++

_“Jaime, my sweet,” she was whimpering with pleasure under him, as his hand moved all over her body “I’ve missed you. I’ve wanted you for so long.” She pulled him closer, holding his naked body tightly against hers, and kissed him passionately._

_He was hard and desperate, and was about to enter her, when his eyes fell on her face._

_“It’s you!” he exclaimed, recoiling “I thought you were...I can’t do this Cersei.” he got off her “I really can’t…”_

_“It’s that bloody wench, isn’t it?” Cersei said, her voice laced with hatred “You want her. My body doesn’t satisfy you anymore, does it?”_

Jaime sat up, relieved to find himself alone in his bedchambers. This was new. Dreams were a manifestation of one’s deepest thoughts and desires, and he had always wanted Cersei, then why this dream? He did have vivid dreams about Brienne earlier, but thankfully, not anymore. The last one was quite a while ago, and his cock still stirred each time he relived the memory. He had dismissed these embarrassing dreams as just a passing phase, a result of his unavoidable proximity with Brienne and his separation from Cersei. To his relief, they had stopped once he had been reunited with Cersei. _But how could he explain this?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime meets Brienne at Riverrun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had earlier done the Red Tent scene from Jaime's POV in one of my older fics, so this time I decided to see it through Brienne's eyes. Warning - loads of fluff and feelz!

Jaime cursed his luck, which was something that he was definitely running short of these days. Since the day he returned to King’s Landing, nothing seemed to be going his way. He had been brooding about the letter from Pod for the last few days, and each time he recalled its contents, his mind brought up an unpleasant image of Brienne with _that_ Simon. _Had she kissed him yet? Or worse still, had she fucked him?_ Brienne was a principled and honourable woman, and in his opinion she wouldn’t bed a man who was not her husband. This quiet confidence in her virtues brought a little solace to his mind which had otherwise been in a constant state of turmoil ever since he had read that damned letter.

Another disturbing thought struck him-he was still her husband. He had given up trying to convince the High Sparrow, but he had decided to speak to Tommen about it. If there was anyone who could override the Faith-idiots, it was the king.

But first things first, and as he had agreed with Mace Tyrell, they would have to deal with Margaery’s walk of Atonement. He couldn’t allow the queen, and the lady of another noble house to be insulted. It had happened once in his absence, but this time he had resolved to intervene and prevent anything untoward from happening.

+++++

Sadly, Jaime’s attempt to save the queen from disgrace had ended up being a huge failure. The High Sparrow had declared that there would be no Walk of Atonement, and much to Jaime’s anger and shock, King Tommen had decided to unite the Faith and the crown. The Faith had won.

What Jaime had to endure at the throne room was much worse. As a punishment for taking arms against the Faith, the king had ordered him to go to Riverrun and take the castle back from the Blackfish. Jaime was still shaken by the High Sparrow’s influence over the king, so he refrained from bringing up the subject of his annulment. There was no point, he decided. Tommen had become a puppet of the Faith.

Jaime’s every instinct prompted him to attack the faith, to kill the old fool who was responsible for corrupting his son. But Cersei tried to talk him off his plan. Attempting to kill the High Sparrow would most likely cost Jaime his life, and it was just not worth it.

“Without you, this is all for nothing.” she said.

“You’ll stand trial soon, I need to be here for you.” Jaime tried to argue. But she assured him that it would be a trial for combat, and she had the Mountain by her side.

“They’ve made us both stronger.” Cersei whispered, moving closer to him. Her lips were on his, kissing him passionately. This time he tried to kiss her back, but his heart refused to cooperate, while his mind wandered towards Brienne again. He remembered the first time he had kissed her, he had been so consumed by passion that he had bitten her lip, almost hurting her. And the last time he kissed her… just prior to his departure from Braavos, well, that had been way more than just a kiss. It was a mistake, no doubt, but what a beautiful mistake it had been! He felt himself grow hard at these memories, and quickly tried to dismiss them. _What the hell was wrong with him?_ He fervently hoped that Cersei hadn’t noticed his _condition_ , he was not exactly in the mood to indulge her now. These days, he found himself gradually losing interest in getting intimate with her, something that had never happened to him before. It had obviously been due to the tense goings-on in the family, which had him distracted and constantly on his toes.

But if he had to be honest with himself, he caught himself thinking of Brienne more than necessary these days. Again a passing phase, he convinced himself. He would soon be over it. _Hopefully._

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

Sansa wanted her to go to Riverrun to seek the support of the Blackfish. A bit apprehensive about leaving her alone at Castle Black, Brienne had tried to refuse at first, but eventually had to agree. She set off with Pod, on yet another journey, to yet another destination.

 _Riverrun._ This was where she had first met Jaime. _Who wants to die defending a Lannister?_ Those were her first words about him. She had never in her wildest dreams imagined that she would experience such a change of heart towards him. She had hated him then, and he had hated her equally, but slowly and surely her affections for him had begun to develop and grow. She didn’t even know when she had begun to care for him, it had happened without her realizing for a long time. With a heavy heart, she concluded that there was no point dwelling on these feelings and pining for him, he would never reciprocate what she felt for him. His heart belonged to his sister, and he would always be hers.

“You have a keen military mind, Pod.” she commented, when he correctly identified that Riverrun was under siege. It was then, that the sight of someone achingly familiar distracted her. There he was-royal, gallant and handsome, just the way a knight ought to be. She couldn’t take her eyes off Jaime, seeing him almost after a year now.

Brienne was so absorbed in him, that she didn’t even hear the Lannister soldiers ride up to her, and Podrick’s attempts at alerting her to their arrival.

“Who goes there?” a soldier commanded from behind her “State your business.”

“My name is Brienne of Tarth.” she said, finally tearing her eyes away from Jaime, and noticing that they had been surrounded by his men “Please inform Ser Jaime Lannister that I’ve come to speak with him.” On second thoughts, she added “Tell him, I have his sword.”

As they were led to Jaime’s tent, Brienne’s heart thumped so hard against her chest that she could almost hear her own heartbeat. Her palms had become sweaty. She had never been this jittery even when facing a fierce opponent in combat. The Lannisters were their enemy now, and that included Jaime too, but her nervousness had nothing to do with the fact that she was deep inside enemy territory.

“My Lady, it’s not my place to tell you this, but…” Pod hesitated.

“Go on, Pod, what is it?”

“Should we be riding into enemy camp like this?”

“Ser Jaime will treat us well.” Brienne said with a smile “I trust him.” _More than anyone I ever have,_ she added in her mind.

Pod was accosted by Bronn, as soon as they reached Jaime’s tent. Her nervousness increased at the thought of seeing him again, given that things had been awkward between them the last time they were together, and they had not exactly parted on pleasant terms.

“Brienne!” Jaime rose to his feet to greet her. As she entered the tent, her heart leaped to her throat at the sight of the handsome knight. _Was she blushing?_ She wished she had a mirror, so that she could at least assess the extent of her embarrassment. Despite all her efforts to act tough, why did she always have to end up behaving like a typical maiden in his presence? She tried not to stare at him, but at the same time stole a furtive glance at him, taking in his appearance. He looked every bit the lion he was always meant to be-striking, regal and majestic.

“Ser Jaime.” she had finally managed to find her tongue and acknowledged his greeting, trying to breathe normally. How long had it been since she had heard his voice?  

“I never thought you would find her.” he said abruptly. She realized that he was talking about Sansa. He went on about how he surprised he was that she had managed to find Sansa alive and rescue her, and although she found his tone about Sansa somewhat condescending, it warmed her heart when he told her that he was proud of her.

He pointed out that Sansa was still wanted for Joffrey’s murder, and that Cersei was after the girl. Their time together was limited, and here they were, wasting it on such talk.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked her, once the social exchanges were done with. Was it her imagination, or was he perturbed to see her here? What had she expected of him, a warm welcome? The harsh reality was that she was his enemy, and they would always be enemies as long as their loyalties lay where they currently were. His question seemed to be a subtle way of drawing her attention to her precarious position.

Brienne explained to him that she was here on behalf of the Blackfish. Hearing that, Jaime sounded annoyed, and they eventually ended up bickering about Sansa and the Blackfish.

“We shouldn’t argue about politics.” Jaime said finally, echoing her thoughts.

“You’re a knight, Ser Jaime,” Brienne said sincerely “I know, there is honour in you. I’ve seen it myse--”

“I’m a Lannister,” he interrupted her, visibly disturbed that she might ask something of him that went against his loyalties “Don’t ask me to betray my own house.” _As if she would ever ask him to betray his family!_

“I ask you to do no such thing.” she clarified, attempting to ease him out of his discomfort.

Deciding to come to the point, she requested him to allow her to enter Riverrun under a flag of truce. She assured him that she would convince the Blackfish to surrender the castle, in return for safe passage for the Tully army to travel north.

“Have you ever met the Blackfish?” he asked her, sounding slightly disgusted “He’s even more stubborn than you are.” he hesitated “Alright, try to talk some sense into the old goat.” he finally agreed.

“I need your word.”

“You have my word.” he assured her. That was more than enough for her.

So this was it, the end of their meeting. Brienne was about to bid him goodbye, when he struck conversation again.

“I came to know that Simon Tully is in Castle Black. How long has he been there?” he inquired with an odd expression on his face. She knew that he didn’t like Simon, but this was not just dislike-it seemed to go way beyond that. What had Simon done to deserve such antagonism?

“Why do you hate him so much?” she asked, unable to contain herself.

“He’s a Tully.” Jaime said bitterly “And the Tullys happen to be my enemies, wench. I thought you knew that.”

“By that logic, I’m your enemy too.” Brienne said softly “I’m sworn to Lady Sansa.”

“Are you and him…” Jaime asked her, looking directly into her eyes.

“Not yet.” Brienne replied, slightly annoyed with herself for her defensive tone. Who she courted was none of Jaime’s business. She was not answerable to him, and she didn’t have to justify her actions or her decisions to him.

“Not yet?” he repeated, narrowing his eyes “What does that mean?”

“He still loves me.” Brienne blurted out, ignoring his question. _Why the hell was she telling him all this?_

“Do you?” he asked, his eyes still piercing hers like arrows. He had asked her the same question earlier, why was he repeating it now?

“I don’t know…” she said truthfully, she was genuinely confused about Simon. He was nice, he liked her and she liked him too, more and more by the day, but there was one small problem... _He was not Jaime_.

“The proposal that he made to me still stands.” Brienne said, flustered. _Why did she have to compare Simon to Jaime?_ “He’s waiting for my answer.” It was Simon who had openly expressed his love for her and his desire to marry her, not Jaime.

“Which is?” Jaime pressed further, keenly studying her face as usual to gauge her emotions.

“I am still considering it.” she said thoughtfully “I have not yet accepted him, but I have not refused him either.”

“And will you--” he prompted, clearly determined to pursue her until she gave him a proper answer “--accept his proposal?”

“I don’t know.” she was upset with herself. Why was she still here, justifying her decisions to Jaime?

“It’s time.” she had to put an end to this discussion “I should leave now.” Even if she did decide to marry Simon, she didn’t have to explain it to Jaime, or defend her stand.

She was about to leave when she turned back, there was something she had forgotten to ask him about.

“Our marriage, have you--”

Jaime nodded “I have put in a request to the High Septon. There are some complications, but I assure you, I’ll sort it out.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” she said. Ironically, _glad_ was quite contrary to what was going on through her mind right now. Their marriage would soon officially end, and then there would be nothing to bind them. No more excuses for her to run into him again. The only place they were ever likely to meet again was a battlefield, as enemies.

But she had her life until then, and some bright things to look forward to-like Simon. She had been contemplating about his proposal, and had almost made up her mind to accept it when she ended up meeting Jaime again. Just a distant glimpse of him was enough to torment her with the memories of their time together at Braavos. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t evict him from her heart and wipe him off her memories. He had become a part of her that simply refused to leave.

 _Maybe, she just had to try harder_ . Resolving that she would, she was about to leave when she remembered something. _Oathkeeper._ It wasn’t hers, so she had to return it. Unbuckling the sword off her belt, she handed it to him.

“You gave it to me for a purpose.” she said “I’ve achieved that purpose.” The sword brought up a vivid recollection of their wedding night when he had given it to her-a gift from a husband to his wife. It had been a fake wedding and a fake husband, but she had still grown attached to the weapon, and it was with a heavy heart that she was about to part with it.

Jaime looked at her, his eyes shining with emotions that she couldn’t exactly comprehend. He shook his head.

“It’s yours.” he said, gazing at her tenderly, refusing to take the sword from her “It will always be yours.”

The look in his eyes, and the soft tone of his voice reminded her of the moment when he had declared his love for her on that fateful night at Braavos when they had very nearly… Her drunken mistake apart, she had almost taken his word seriously. He could no doubt lie convincingly, but something told her that this time he was serious. He meant for her to have Oathkeeper, the words were spoken straight from his heart. Fastening the sword back to her waist, she walked to the tent’s exit, when she remembered something again.

She spun around, finding him at her heel, quite close to her-in fact the closest that they had been to each other since they met at the tent. She drew in a sharp breath and tried not to blush; his proximity still had the same bloody intoxicating effect on her!

“One last thing, Ser Jaime.” It was going to be painful for her to say it, but she had to.

“Yes, _Lady_ Brienne?” There was a playful little smirk on his face as he stressed on the word _lady,_ and his tone and his expressive eyes were full of mischief. Was he teasing her as usual? Her mind went back to his words when he had first set eyes on her- _Is that a woman?_

“Should I fail to persuade the Blackfish, and if you attack the castle…” she hesitated, finding it difficult to continue “Honour compels me to fight for Sansa’s kin.”

“Ofcourse it does.” Jaime agreed.

Did he even realize what she implied?

“To fight you.” she finished sadly, clarifying the true meaning of her statement.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” he murmured, his voice sounding equally shattered with the notion of fighting her. She saw the expression on Jaime’s face. He seemed to be as heartbroken with the situation as she was, his face filled with horror at the high possibility of their long friendship ending with the two of them killing each other. As far as she was concerned, it had been much deeper than friendship, never mind if he didn’t reciprocate. Brienne was used to it-she had always been unlucky when it came to matters of the heart, except in the case of Simon.

For the first time in her life, a thought crossed her mind- _Was it really worth fighting someone else’s battles?_

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

Jaime watched her as she walked away from his life once more, never taking his eyes off her until she was no longer visible. Sighing heavily, he went back into the tent, and paced up and down, restless. He had to admit, he had been surprised to see her here. Pod had not told him that they were expected here.

When he first saw her in the tent, he was scarcely listening to what she was saying, his first urge had been to pull her into his arms and hold her tight against her. He wanted to kiss her like he had never kissed anyone before, he had craved for her lips on his again, the memory of that night in Braavos still fresh in his mind. It had taken him a great deal of self control to knock those feelings off his head.

He mentally thanked whoever had put up this tent for placing the table in here, and for the entirety of their conversation, he made a deliberate effort to ensure that the table had always been between them, acting as a barrier to prevent him from doing something that he might regret later. He cursed himself for such unsolicited thoughts. She was with Simon now, and he belonged with Cersei, so it just didn’t seem right to think about her this way.

All those thoughts apart, he found himself amused with the way she had addressed him.

_We’ve been through a lot together. Hells, we almost fucked, wench, and you still call me ‘ser’?_

“I know you would rather want her to call you _‘my love’,_ don’t you?” Bronn’s voice rang out “Why don’t you tell her that then? I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to oblige you.” Jaime groaned when it struck him that he had spoke out the last sentence aloud. He had to be careful around Bronn.

“Did you fuck her or not?” Bronn asked him bluntly. The man never seemed to give up.

“Ofcourse not.” Jaime said indignantly “I’m a Lannister, and she’s sworn to the Starks. She’s enemy.”

“So?” Bronn asked coolly “How does that matter to you? You didn’t care about that when you married her.”

“It matters.” Jaime retorted angrily “I’m still loyal to my family. I will always be.”

“I know I’ve said this a million times, and I don’t mind saying it again-you both want each other.” Bronn said desperately “Now that you have another chance, why can’t you go after her, tell her that you love her?” he said, pointing towards the exit “What’s stopping you?”

“Circumstances.” Jaime said, his voice sounding hollow to his ears, echoing the way he felt at the moment-vacant and empty “I’m with Cersei, and she’s with Simon. All I want, is for her to be happy, if she finds that happiness and a bright future with Simon, then so be it.”

“From what I know, she is not with Simon.” Bronn argued “Atleast not yet. You don’t even know what’s in her heart, you are so blind that you can’t see that it’s _you_ , and not him.”

“She is serious about him.” Jaime said softly, his heart almost breaking at this brutal bit of truth “It’s just a matter of time before they’ll be married. She _wants_ to marry him.”

“I never thought you fuckin’ Lannisters gave up so easily. I thought you could go to any extreme to get what you wanted.” Bronn said sarcastically “I had expected you to go after her, push that bloody cunt of a Simon away from her, kiss her senseless and tell her how you felt about her.”

“I _can’t_ do that.” Jaime replied “I’ve done enough to hurt her and break her heart, and now that she has finally found the love of her life, I can’t just barge in there and ruin it for her.”

“ _You_ are the love of her life, you fool.” Bronn was almost shouting now “Not that cunt--”

“I’m not. I don’t deserve her, Bronn,” Jaime said sadly “And more importantly, she deserves better than me. She deserves Simon, he is everything that I am not-caring, respectable and honourable, while I’m just an honourless cripple, the incestuous bastard who fucks his sister. He’s always been nice to her, while all I’ve done is repeatedly insult her.” he stopped, unable to speak further.

“When was the last you fucked your sister?” Bronn asked carefully.

 _It’s none of your business._ Jaime had meant to snub him, but Bronn had a point. Jaime racked his brain to recollect “I don’t know...probably long back, before I married Brienne…”

“Not even once since you were back from Braavos?”

Jaime shook his head.

“Not even a kiss?” Bronn pushed him further.

Jaime frowned “Yes…and no.” he confessed “She kissed me after I was back, but...” He didn’t want to reveal to Bronn that he couldn’t kiss Cersei back. This realization surprised him. Usually, he would be the one itching to touch her, kiss her and fuck her, he had found it difficult to keep his hands off her. But now--

“You’ve been faithful to your wife, fake, though the marriage may be.” Bronn was smiling “And you’ve not touched your sister for more than a year. _Why_ , do you think?”

To that, Jaime had no answer.

+++++

The Blackfish was dead. Jaime had not meant for the man to meet with such an end, but he had preferred to die fighting than surrender. A new wave of panic struck him-had Brienne managed to get out of the castle alive? When he rode in, he had a feeling that she was in there, and he constantly hoped and prayed for her safety.

He stood on the ramparts, alone in the dark, thinking about her. Just one last glimpse of her, he wished to himself, just an assurance, any hint that she was fine, alive and well.

There she was.

He looked down at her, rowing away. _Look at me, Brienne,_ he thought, foolishly hoping for her to hear him. _Turn around, please! Just one last time_ … And then, as if she could read his mind, she turned around and looked up at him. He was surprised by this weird connection between them, it was something that he couldn’t put a name to.

Their eyes met, and he waved a final goodbye, a little tentative movement of his right hand, and she waved back, her eyes never leaving his. Even across the distance and the darkness, he couldn’t help admiring her eyes. He would never be able to look into them again.

He held her gaze until the boat and its occupants disappeared into the distance.

+++++

_It will always be yours._

Jaime wasn’t sure if it was just the sword that he had been talking about. Brienne had left, and along with her, he felt that he had let go of a part of himself. He was so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed the serving girl eyeing him lustily. Bronn was miffed with all the female attention that Jaime was getting, but Jaime didn’t care, he didn’t bother about any woman except…

Wanting to distract himself from thinking about her again, Jaime looked around and found two women staring at him.

“Those two have their eyes on you.” he drew Bronn’s attention to them.

“Their eyes are on you, cunt.” Bronn said irritably.

“Not my type.” Jaime said dismissively.

“Not blonde enough?” Bronn asked, eyeing him wickedly. Jaime knew exactly what he was driving at, and he was in no mood for yet another such discussion. Deciding to do Bronn some good, he called out to them.

“Ladies! Have you met Ser Bronn of the Blackwater?”

Within a minute, Bronn left the table happily linking arms with both the beauties, and Jaime was left sitting there with his solitude and his thoughts.

Not his type, definitely.

But who was his type? Cersei...or Brienne?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime reaches home to find the Sept burned down and his son dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of deviation to canon starts from here.

“What’s the matter?” Sansa inquired, looking slightly worried.

Brienne had been poking her food with the knife for quite a while, staring at it blankly. Sansa’s voice brought her back to her senses.

“Nothing, my lady.” she said, trying to keep calm.

Sansa sat down next to her. “Something’s definitely wrong.” she frowned, searching Brienne’s face “You look disturbed ever since you have been back from Riverrun.”

“I assure you, I’m fine. I’m just tired.” Brienne tried to put her off “Nothing that a good night’s sleep can’t sort out.” She had to take care to keep her emotions in check. Sansa had been right. Ever since she had returned from the Riverlands, the void that had filled her heart as she had rowed away from Jaime, and the squeezing sensation in her chest caused by the comprehension that she would never see him after this, refused to leave her. Until then, Brienne had been quite convinced that she was completely over Jaime, but running into him again after months of being apart had rekindled all the old memories and the feelings that had been simmering in her heart for years. To love someone without being loved in return was the worst thing that could happen to anyone, and Brienne had the misfortune to have suffered the same heartbreak twice. On an afterthought, Renly felt more like an infatuation, a maiden fantasy. Any girl could fall in love with the good and honourable king, but never in even her wildest dreams had she imagined that she would fall in love with her sworn enemy, the man who had broken his vow to kill his king, the man who loved his sister. _The man who would never love her back._

“Lady Brienne?” Sansa called out again, a little louder this time.

“I’m fine.” Brienne was finding it difficult to sustain the conversation, what was she expected to say? She wanted to avoid Sansa, she wanted to keep away from anyone who wanted to talk to her “My lady, I must--” she said, getting up to leave, when Sansa took her hand.

“Please sit for a minute.” she requested Brienne, pointing to the chair “There is something that I wish to discuss with you.”

Anticipating another diplomatic mission, Brienne sat down, taking care to avoid looking Sansa in the eye

“I had a word with my cousin Simon.” Sansa said “I believe, that he has made you a proposal of marriage.”

Brienne looked up in astonishment. It had never occurred to her all this while, that Simon was Sansa’s cousin.

“Yes, my lady.” Brienne admitted “He did.”

“Simon is a nice man.” Sansa gushed, giving her a warm smile “I’ve known him since we were children, he’s honourable and being from one of the noblest houses of Westeros, he’s suitable for you in every possible way.”

_Is seeking a suitable alliance from a noble house more important than marrying the man I love? I don’t care about his reputation, I don’t care, if he’s the honourless Kingslayer. I love him, nothing else matters to me._

“He loves you, Lady Brienne,” Sansa said, looking pleased with the idea of a potential alliance “He had a word with me last night about this.”

_And I love Jaime._

“He did tell me that, yes.” Brienne agreed.

_All he has ever told me, is that he loves his sister._

“Then, I do hope that you consider his proposal favourably and make a well informed decision.” Sansa went on “I don’t just say this because he is my cousin, but because I am confident that he will make you happy.”

_How does she know what would make me happy?_

“Is there a problem?” Sansa probed, when Brienne still showed no reaction to her advice “Don’t you love Simon?”

_How could I, when Jaime has made himself a permanent occupant in my heart!_

But it was time she made a practical decision. There was no point running after fantasies and dreams.

_He can never be mine. He loves another._

“I do like Lord Simon.” Brienne said, forcing herself to smile “And I promise you, I will think well and take a decision.”

  
  
  
  


*****

  
  
  
  


Having finally made it to King’s Landing, they entered the gates, when Jaime’s eyes fell on the something that could have been straight out of a nightmare, the burning ruins of the Sept of Baelor. Shocked beyond measure and wondering what could have caused this massive devastation, they made their way to the Red Keep. All along the way to the castle, the whispers had been rampant.

The king was dead. His son Tommen was no more.

Jaime entered the throne room to find Cersei’s coronation in progress. Waiting through the ceremony, he struggled to come to terms with whatever had happened in his absence.

“How did all this happen?” he asked her, shocked, once the ceremony was over and they could finally speak in private in her chambers “I was only gone for a while and--”

“It was an accident.” she replied brusquely “I don’t want to talk about it now…”

“What about Tommen?” Jaime asked, his voice choked with grief “Was that an accident too?”

“Our son killed himself because he couldn’t bear the news of his wife’s death.” Cersei said angrily “Even in death, that bitch got the better of me.”

+++++

Jaime was sitting on the bed, sleep evading him as it did almost every night. Months had passed since his return from Riverrun, and with time, the wounds of Tommen’s death had begun to heal, and slowly but steadily, life had been getting back to normal. Until that morning, when they had an unexpected visitor. Euron Greyjoy had arrived in King’s Landing in style, his whole Iron Fleet with him. Jaime could clearly gauge his intentions, he was out to win the Queen’s heart, making his presence felt more than required in court, trying to impress Cersei with both his words and his charm. Jaime had stood there watching with quiet contempt, as the Ironborn openly made his sister a proposal of marriage in court. He should have been jealous and angry at the sight of another man wooing the love of his life, but to his surprise, Jaime felt nothing.

As he was wondering why it had not affected him as much as it should have, Cersei entered the room and approached him.

“Still awake?” she asked, leaning into him and kissing him. Jaime subconsciously pushed her away, the last thing he wanted was to get intimate with her.

“What’s wrong?” she sounded angry “I’ve been observing you for months now, ever since you have been back from Braavos, you’ve been distant and cold with me.”

“I told you.” Jaime said, evading her eyes “It’s just that the last few months have been--”

“Your aloofness has only increased since your return from Riverrun.” she said accusingly.

If there was one thing that he could readily agree with Cersei on, it was this. Since the day he had bid goodbye to Brienne and watched her vanish into the darkness, she was all he could think of, every minute of the day, and every day of the week. The shock of Tommen’s death had distracted him from brooding about her for a while. But over time, as that pain gradually healed, Brienne was now back, refusing to budge from the spot that she had so firmly occupied in his heart.

“We haven’t talked about Tommen yet.” Jaime said, attempting to divert the subject from Riverrun.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” she said curtly “I don’t want to constantly dwell on his death.”

“Do you realize that we have more enemies than friends?” Jaime asked her. They had news that Daenerys Targaryen was sailing to Westeros, bringing in an army of the Unsullied and the Dothraki, and here, Cersei was busy increasing the count of her enemies day by day in her hunger for power-Jon Snow, Olenna Tyrell and the Dornish, just to name a few.

“I have Euron Greyjoy as a potential ally.” Cersei said with smug smile “I am going to accept his proposal, I have decided to marry him.”

“He wants to get to the throne through you.” Jaime tried to make her see reason “He murdered his own brother. How can you trust him?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot to trust him?” Cersei said softly “I trust no one.” She seated him on the bed and poured him a drink, along with a glass of wine for herself and sat down next to him.

“I love you, Jaime. You do know that, don’t you?” she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder “I always have, and I always will. But for the greater good of the realm and for the future of Westeros, I have to marry Euron. I hope you understand.”

Jaime downed his wine, his mind wandering away, slowly drifting off Cersei and Euron. He re-filled his glass, he needed more.

_I love you, I have loved you for ages. I have been an idiot not to realize it earlier. But you are in love with that bloody Tully! Do you really expect me to understand?_

“I... don’t understand…” he said haltingly, the alcohol in his blood had clouded his mind, and inhibited his ability to speak clearly. He had to make an effort to articulate each word. He kept gulping down glass after glass. A few glasses of wine later, he still didn’t understand, and he never would.

“Believe me, I am yours and will always be, like I have always been even when Robert was alive.” she said softly “No one can tear us apart. We were born together, we will die together.”

_How could you be mine if you married Simon? What the hell do you see in that bastard? Does he love you as much as I do?_

“He’s from a good family, he’ll make me a good match.” Cersei went on, her face now so close to his, that he could feel her breath “I do have to get married again someday, don’t I, a Queen needs her consort, her King--”

_Ofcourse he’s from a good family, he’s a noble Tully. And the Tullys are allies of the Starks. You would eventually have to get married someday, and who better than that idiot of a Tully?_

“I know you’re jealous.” she said, running her fingers along his cheek “It’s nice to see you jealous of another man. It reminds me of the days when I was married to Robert, you couldn’t stand it whenever he touched me.”

_What else would I be, if not jealous? The sight of you in that Simon’s arms kills me. Has it ever occurred to you, that the vision of him kissing you has broken my heart into a thousand tiny pieces over and over again? My blood boils at the image of that cunt touching you, fucking you--_

_“_ Fuck me, Jaime.” she whispered, her lips were now on his, kissing him deeply and passionately.

_Gladly, wench. Gods, you have no idea how much I’ve been burning for you. How I wish, we had finished what we started that night in Braavos! How I wish, that I had listened to Bronn much sooner!_

The feel of her lips on his broke all his restraint, and he kissed her back, devouring her lips with all the desire that had been gradually building up inside him for all these years.

“Oh Jaime,” she moaned, as he pinned her down, and flung himself on her. He clumsily ripped the dress off her while she unbuttoned his shirt, hastily divesting him of it. She ran her hand along his chest, winding her arms around his neck and pulling him closer. Closing his eyes, he let her take control, as her hand reached into his trousers and groped his cock...

_Something isn't right._

He opened his eyes “You’re…” he stammered, trying to focus on her face which was blurring in and out of focus “Cersei.” he said, shocked.

“Who else did you think I was?” Cersei snapped, angry with the abrupt change in his mood “And what has suddenly happened to you?”

_What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I in bed, naked with Cersei?_

The overdose of wine had made him dizzy and light headed, but conscious enough to realize that it was not Cersei that he had so desperately wanted a few minutes ago, and that he was about to make a huge mistake.

“I’m sorry, Cersei.” he murmured, hastily pulling his clothes back on “I can’t do this.”

He stumbled back to his bedchambers and fell unconscious on his bed, fully clothed.

_+++++_

Jaime woke up at dawn, nursing a terrible headache and nausea. His head felt as if the Mountain had hit it relentlessly with a hammer, and his eyes burned like he had rinsed them with wildfire.

What had happened last night? He sat there, clutching his forehead, trying to recollect if he had done anything inappropriate. He couldn’t remember much, only that he had rambled on and on inside his head about something-what, he could not quite place his finger on.

Within a few minutes, it came back to him. He had _almost_ ended up fucking Cersei!

He wouldn’t have been surprised if he had done it, but it was the ‘ _almost’_ part of it which shocked him. He couldn’t bring himself to finish what he had started...he had walked out on her, something that had never happened before.

_All because, for the first time in his life, he had wanted and desired someone else._

He had to apologise to his sister, he could give his drunkenness as a reason for rushing away like that. Straightening his clothes and hair, and making himself presentable, he hurried to Cersei’s chambers and as usual, entered without knocking, he didn’t have to. No one except him had that audacity, and no one other than him had the right to be in her bedchambers at such an unearthly hour of the morning.

One step inside and he froze, his sister-his pretty sister, the love of his life, naked in the arms of Euron Greyjoy!

“Jaime!” Cersei got up, covering herself hastily with the sheet, startled by the sound of the door.

“Are you seriously bothering to cover yourself up for my benefit?” Jaime asked her sarcastically.

“Don’t you have the courtesy to knock before entering a lady’s chambers?” Euron snarled at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my lord.” Jaime said in mock apology “I didn’t expect you here. Had I known that you were in here, I definitely would have entered after knocking. I didn’t mean to interrupt whatever you were--”

“I need to talk to my brother.” Cersei cut in, giving Euron a sharp look “If you could give us a moment.”

“To talk, I hope,” Euron smirked “Not _fuck_ your brother behind my back.”

Cersei gave him a warning look.

“Just joking.” he put his hands up, and gave Jaime a crooked smile. Getting off the bed, he put his clothes on, and made his way out of the room. On his way to the door, he stopped by Jaime and whispered to him so softly that he was inaudible to Cersei.

“I’m better than you, Kingslayer, she told me so herself.” he said wickedly “It’s things like this, where having one hand less is always a handicap.” After lingering on for a few more seconds just to savour the sight of Jaime’s stunned expression, Euron left the room, closing the door behind him.

“What was that?” Jaime asked her, furious “Is this how you entertain yourself and others behind my back?”

“And what did you think you were doing?” she shouted “Walking out on me last night?”

“I had come here to apologise for that.” Jaime said bitterly “But I can see that you aren’t sorry about it at all. You seem to have found other _alternatives_.”

Cersei didn’t answer him.

“Who else did you fuck in my absence?” Jaime had decided to confront her now. He needed answers. “The whole year, when I was imprisoned…”

He paused, an unpleasant thought coming to his mind.

“Why do I get feeling that all the foul rumours about you and Lancel aren’t entirely false?” he looked her in the eye “Tell me I’m wrong, Cersei, was it Lancel too?”

When Cersei didn’t say a word, Jaime was convinced that he was right. His sister had cheated on him, behind his back. With more than one man.

“And here I was, the biggest idiot in the city, wanting to give you the benefit of doubt.” he said bitterly “Who else did you fuck? I gather, I wasn’t good enough for you, nor was poor cousin Lancel.”

“You fucked that whore of yours when you were married to her!” Cersei shouted.

“I didn’t.” Jaime had grown tired of repeating this “How many times have I told you this. I have always been loyal to you.”

“You have been loyal to _her_.” Cersei said with contempt “You didn’t touch me even once after you returned.”

Jaime needed answers to other more important questions as well. And he wasn’t leaving unless he got them.

“How did the accident at the Sept happen?” Jaime pressed her “I heard, that there were caches of wildfire placed under it. Was it really an accident or were you--”

“Yes. It was me.” she shouted, finally confessing “I was denied trial by combat, the old man had closed all the doors for me, with my own son going against me in support of that bastard.” her eyes flashed fire “What else did you expect me to do?”

Jaime felt faint, his worst fears and suspicious having been proved right.

“Our son killed himself because of you.”

“Jaime, I only meant for you and I to rule together, I did all this for us.” she grabbed his arm, and tried to kiss him again “I love you Jaime--”

“I loved you too!” Jaime said angrily, releasing his arm from her grasp “But I didn’t try to prove my love for you by murdering hundreds of innocent people, by driving our son to suicide--”

“We can set it all right, Jaime.” Cersei was pleading with him now.

“What you have done, is beyond redemption.” he said, his memory going back to years ago when it happened.

 _Burn them all!_ It was still fresh in his mind, as though it had been yesterday.

“Lancel was a big mistake--”

“I didn’t go about fucking people in your absence.” he lashed out at her “Hells, I didn’t even get close to my wife out of my loyalty to you.”

“But you wanted to, didn’t you?” she spat “Since the day she brought you back home, she’s all you have ever wanted. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I’m leaving.” Jaime had made up his mind. For once, he decided to do the right thing, to pick the right side.

Cersei looked at him as if she had been slapped in the face.

“I can’t support you anymore.” he said, shaking his head “You are welcome to your throne. But I don’t approve of your means to acquire it. Feel free to sit on it all alone.”

“Are you leaving me for that wench?” she asked, her voice dangerously low.

“No.” Jaime said, shaking his head “I’m leaving you to finally do the right thing.”

He walked out of the door not turning around even once, leaving her silently fuming after him.

+++++

They rode for a while in silence, each lost in his own thoughts.

“You had a choice, Bronn.” Jaime spoke finally, turning to his companion “You could have stayed behind. There was no need for you--”

“Aye.” Bronn replied “And I made the right choice.”

Jaime smiled at him, The sellsword could be a pain in the ass, but he had to appreciate this gesture. He had not expected Bronn to join him on his journey North.

_To Winterfell, where Brienne was._

Jaime had never in all his life spared a thought to the idea that he would be joining forces with Jon Snow, the bastard from the North, who he had so condescendingly dismissed when they had last met. He had been in two minds, but he had heard about the army of the dead preparing to attack the North, and he knew Jon Snow well enough to understand that the boy could be anything, but never a liar. There indeed was a greater evil at work, and this went way beyond their petty fights for the ugly chair.

“So, why exactly are we going North?” Bronn asked him after a long spell of silence.

“I told you.” Jaime replied “Jon Snow is trying to gather an army to fight the dead, and he needs all the help that he can get.”

Bronn narrowed his eyes “Is that the _only_ reason?”

Jaime was silent, this time not bothering to refute him or counter his argument.

“Back at Riverrun, when I had told you to go after her and tell her that you love her,” Bronn said “You didn’t deny it, you’ve always denied it in the past, so why the quiet acceptance all of a sudden?”

“Deny what?”

“That you love her.” Bronn gave him a sharp look, as if daring him to point out that he was wrong.

“No, I didn’t deny it.” Jaime said slowly “Because I love her.”

Bronn gaped at him in surprise.

“What did you just say?”

“I love Brienne.” Jaime said, finally having found the courage to accept it “She’s all I can think of night and day, and I have been finding it difficult to live without her. She is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, Bronn.”

“Finally!” Bronn exclaimed, breaking into a huge grin “I’m proud of you, Lannister.”

“I intend telling her how I feel, the first thing I reach there.” Jaime said, his heart soaring at that thought “Is that all? Or is there anything else that you would like to know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't stand the scene where Jaime sleeps with Cersei in S7, so I decided to find an alternative to it by getting Euron doing the needful instead ;)  
> Jaime is going North to get his wench, but I don't think winning her back is going to be that easy for him. There's still Simon to deal with.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime reaches Winterfell and faces challenges convincing Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, almost at the end. Just two more chapters to go after this.  
> My apologies that I haven't been able to reply to all the comments. I promise, I will in due course.

“Ser Jaime!” Brienne exclaimed in surprise “I didn’t expect to see you here.” Her big blue eyes were full of questions. Jaime’s heart skipped a beat when he saw her. All along the journey, he had been dying to tell her what was in his heart, but before that there was something troubling him, something that he hoped had not happened yet.

_Is she married? Have I arrived too late?_

He couldn’t be peaceful unless he ascertained that, but before he could voice his concern, Brienne had something to say to him.

“I had sent you a raven a month ago.” she asked him “Why didn’t you respond?”

“What raven?” Jaime was genuinely surprised “I didn’t get anything.” There was a high possibility that Cersei might have intercepted it.

“I wanted to know what happened to the annulment of our marriage.” she inquired “I had to check...before proceeding.”

 _Proceeding with what?_ Jaime’s heart filled with dread, as he could anticipate what was coming.

“I am going to marry Simon.” Brienne informed him, blushing a deep shade of red “I have accepted his proposal. But before that, I had to know if--”

“We are still married.” Jaime said bluntly, knowing what she had been trying to ask all this while “Once the Sept had blown up, I didn’t know what to do, whom to approach.”

“Months have passed, and you didn’t find it important enough to inform me?” Brienne sounded angry now “And you never bothered to reply to my letter.”

“I’m telling you, Brienne.” Jaime tried to explain “I never got any letter.”

“Fine, forget the letter. But you still didn’t bother to take any action after you got back to King’s Landing.” she said, her eyes shining “Why?”

“That, I admit, was a lapse on my part.” Jaime accepted “When I got back home, there were too many things to deal with, and this just skipped my mind.”

“Well, we need to find a way then.” Brienne said curtly “I can’t stay married to you forever, can I? I need to get on with my life.”

“With _Simon_ as a part of your life?” Jaime asked, anger and jealousy now slowly rising inside him as well.

“Yes.” Brienne shot back “Do you have a problem with that?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Jaime said indignantly “I can’t stand the thought of Simon marrying you.”

“Why? Who I marry is none of your business.” Brienne said defiantly.

“It is my business.” Jaime said softly “Because I love you.”

A sad look came upon Brienne’s face at this revelation, which took Jaime completely by surprise. This was definitely not the reaction that he had expected for his declaration of love.

“Please don’t do this, Ser Jaime.” Brienne said wearily “We have been through this many times in the past, and I really cannot go through the same thing over and over again.”

“I’m not pretending or acting this time, Brienne.” Jaime said sincerely, moving closer to her and taking her hand “It is true, I do love you.”

“You just hate Simon, and you want to keep me away from him.” Brienne pulled away her hand hastily “That’s why you are building this up, just the way you did the last time.”

“I don’t hate Simon, I just don’t feel that he is the right man for you.”

_Ofcourse I hate Simon!_

“Do you think, _you_ are the right man for me then?” Brienne said, her voice slightly raised.

“I never said any such thing.” Jaime tried to pacify her “I just asked you not to marry Simon.”

_This is not going the way I expected._

“Try to remember all that you said that night in Braavos.” Brienne looked agitated now “Being the fool that I am, I took all that to be true, thought that you genuinely loved me.”

“I do love you, Brienne.” he insisted “That’s what I told you then, and that’s what I’m telling you now.”

“You broke my heart.” she said softly, averting her eyes.

_Braavos had been a huge mistake._

“I know,” Jaime said apologetically “And I’m sorry for that.”

“You’re _sorry_?” Brienne repeated “Is that all you can say? Did you know, how much anguish you had put me through that night?”

“I understand--”

“I thought you really did love… “ her voice broke, and she paused before going on “when all you did, was abandon me in the middle of the night, saying that you had been acting.”

Jaime was silent, he had been at fault then, and he didn’t know how to convince her that his feelings now were genuinely heartfelt.

“You broke my heart, and you failed to get our marriage annulled. You have always taken me for granted.” she continued in the same distressed tone “But please don’t do this to me again. I have given my word to Simon, and I will marry him.”

She left, leaving him staring after her, wondering what he could do to change her mind about him.

+++++

Apart from winning Brienne’s heart, Jaime had other complications to deal with. The welcome that he had received in Winterfell, though not hostile, was not exactly amicable either. Jon Snow was away to Dragonstone to meet Daenerys. But to his utmost surprise, Bran had forgiven him. Jaime had gone to meet him as soon as he had arrived at Winterfell.

“I forgive you.” Bran told him “Infact, it is because of you that I am the three eyed raven now.” Jaime had no idea what he was talking about, but he was genuinely glad that the boy had forgiven him. This had been one thing that had been nagging his mind all through the journey. As Jaime was about to leave, the boy spoke.

“You chose love.” Bran said in his trademark bland tone “When it came to loyalty and love, love it was for you, and love it always will be.”

_Here I am, miles away from home, from my family. The things I do for love._

+++++

Sansa Stark had not been too pleased to see him, but he couldn’t blame the girl. He had expected this reaction considering how his family had treated her. Tyrion had been the only one who had been compassionate towards her.

“My lady.” Brienne assured her “I can vouch for him.”

Sansa looked from Brienne to Jaime, and then back to Brienne again. “You do know, Lady Brienne,” she said “The way his family has treated me has been unpardonable. How do you expect me to just accept him into our fold?”

“I am aware of what happened to you, my lady, and I am not defending them.” Brienne said gently “But that was his sister and Joffrey, not him.”

Sansa still didn’t look convinced “All along, he has been faithful to his sister, and one fine day, he just rides North, suddenly deciding to join us. Don’t you find that worth questioning?”

“He was the one who urged me to rescue you, my lady.” Brienne said, her eyes shining “He was the one who helped me escape King’s Landing. He defied his father and his sister, just to make sure that I was safe.”

Despite their differences, Brienne was still standing there and defending him. Jaime was overwhelmed by her gesture, and his love and respect for her increased every minute. It was at times like this, that he felt that he didn’t deserve her.

Sansa looked at her thoughtfully.

“And why did he do that?” she asked Brienne, still sounding suspicious, as if Jaime was incapable of doing anything selfless.

_I did that for you, Brienne. I would do anything for you. I was ready to die for you once, and I can do that again and again and again..._

“Because he is not the honourless oathbreaker that he has always been made out to be.” Brienne’s voice was full of emotion “He has saved me, my lady, more than once, and in every possible way. He saved my life, he saved my honour, it was because of me that he lost his hand. He--” she stopped, unable to carry on.

_I did all that for love. I love you, wench. If only you would believe me!_

Sansa gave her a sharp look “He saved you? Now that’s something new. I find it difficult to trust him.” she thought for a bit “But I trust you, Lady Brienne, and if you trust him--”

“I trust him with my life.” Brienne whispered, her voice now barely audible “And I trust no one else.” The sincerity in her voice filled him with such warmth that he had never felt before.

“I will take your word then.” Sansa said, smiling.

+++++

The next few days passed with Brienne taking utmost precautions to avoid him. She literally fled, whenever she set eyes on him or ran into him. Even at mealtimes, she would make sure that she sat with Simon, leaving Bronn to be the sole companion for Jaime.

However, today Jaime saw her sitting alone as he entered the dining hall. Simon seemed to be away for some work. A huge bearded man came to Brienne grinning at her, or rather leering at her, and plonked himself on the seat next to her. Brienne didn’t seem too happy to see him, the irritation on her face as clear as daylight.

“Who is that fellow?” Jaime asked Bronn, pointing to the red headed man next to Brienne “He seems to be bothering her.”

“Tormund Giantsbane.” Bronn replied “He is a wildling, and apparently has a thing for your lady.”

Jaime let out a low whistle “Brienne does seem to have many suitors roaming around the castle.” he frowned “Except me. She won’t even bloody look at me.”

“I don’t blame her.” Bronn shrugged “What you did in Braavos--”

“Thank you, Bronn.” Jaime said irritably “I recollect what I did in Braavos. I don’t need to be reminded of it over and over again.”

“There’s an easy solution to this problem.” Bronn said, smiling “Woo her, make her feel loved. Show her that you’re better than her Simon.”

“But she hates me, Bronn.” Jaime said weakly.

“No, she doesn’t.” Bronn assured him “She’s just angry with you, women are like that at times, so get used to it, if you want to marry one. Take some effort, Lannister, to prove your love to her.”

Unfortunately, Jaime lacked the skills to woo a woman, never having felt the need to do that. He never had to express his feelings to anyone before, and didn’t really know how to. But if he had to win Brienne’s heart, he had to try, and he would do whatever it would take for that.

“You do have a good chance in sight now.” Bronn said, pointing to Tormund “Go and get rid of that fellow for her. That could be the first step of your redemption in her eyes.”

Bronn had a point. As soon as Tormund had left his seat to refill his plate, Jaime rushed to her table and seated himself next to her, flashing her a wide grin. Brienne took one look at him and was about to shoot off, when he stopped her.

“It’s either him, or me.” Jaime said, eyeing Tormund “If you get up from here, that fellow will follow you around everywhere. Don’t you think, I’m lesser of a nuisance than him?”

She sat down, frowning.

“Good.” Jaime gave her a charming smile “So you do _enjoy_ my company.”

She said nothing and ate her food in silence, when Tormund approached them again, the lecherous glint back in his eyes. Brienne was so angry, that Jaime could almost feel her shaking in rage next to him. Her fingers rounded on the knife on the table, but Jaime placed his hand on hers.

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking at Tormund good naturedly “But this seat is taken.” He gave Tormund a big smile, causing the wildling to frown and leave the table swearing to himself in anger.

Brienne glared at Jaime for a few seconds.

“What is it, wench?” Jaime asked “I got rid of him for you. You should be thankful to me.”

“Thank you.” Brienne said, her cheeks turning slightly pink “Now if you don’t mind, could you let go of my hand please?”

+++++

One morning, Jaime and Bronn made their way to the grounds to start their usual practice session. Jaime had considerably improved since he had first began putting his left hand to swordplay, but he still had a long way to go, if he had to become even a shadow of his past self. When they reached there, they saw Brienne duelling with Arya.

For a while, Jaime stood there watching them. He enjoyed watching the girl looking up to Brienne as a role model, and his heart almost burst with pride for his favourite swordswoman.

“That will be all for today.” Brienne told her, wiping the sweat off her forehead when they had finished, and as she was walking back, her eyes met Jaime’s. Immediately she quickened her pace and bolted away from there, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

“Lady Brienne!” Bronn called out “Could I have a sparring session with you? I’ve never fought you, I have seen you fight and I’d want to have a go.”

Brienne looked a bit hesitant for a second, and then nodded.

Jaime watched their swordplay, Bronn was almost an equal match for her, parrying every blow of hers and attacking her when she least anticipated. The duel went on for some time, and Brienne was finally unbeaten. Bronn ended up on the ground with his opponent’s sword at his neck.

Arya, who was also watching the match gave Brienne a huge smile “I always train with the best, Lady Brienne.” she exclaimed “And you are one of the best, I have ever seen.” Bronn got to his feet rubbing his ass, when Jaime stepped forward, taking the sword from his hand.

“I’ve never trained with you as well, my lady.” he said, leaning close to her “So why not try it out today?”

“We have fought, remember?” Brienne said brusquely “You lost.”

“That was long ago.” Jaime insisted “Let’s have a go now.”

“I’m tired.” Brienne said, obviously trying to make an excuse “I have to go.”

“Lady Brienne, I would like to see you fight Ser Jaime.” Arya called out enthusiastically “I have never seen him fight either.”

“What’s the point?” Brienne asked him “I’m going to beat you, as usual.”

“I have lost to you only once, my lady.” Jaime said, smiling mischievously “If you think you can beat me again, why don’t you prove it in front of all of them?” he said, pointing to the small group of people who had gathered around to watch. “I’m sure, Lady Arya would have something to learn from this.” he said, smiling at Arya.

The ploy worked. Brienne threw him a death stare, but nevertheless picked up the sword and turned to face him. Jaime knew fully well that he would lose to her, he was infact looking forward to it. He would happily indulge her in a duel and lose a million times, just to take advantage of it as an opportunity to get close to her.

They began their swordplay, dodging and dancing around each other, attacking and defending, defending and attacking, as the situation demanded. She was not wearing her armour, he noticed, and he made sure to take every available chance to touch her, savouring the pretty blush on her cheek that turned up everytime his arm came into contact with hers. He enjoyed watching her get distracted and flustered whenever he accidentally-on-purpose brushed his fingers against hers. At one point when she was distracted, he wound his arm around her waist and flung her to the ground, pinning her down with his body.

“I’m not as bad as you thought, wench,” he whispered, his lips barely an inch away from hers. He had to gather every last bit of resolution that he could, to stop himself from kissing her right there. Brienne seemed to sense what he felt, for she blushed deeper, clearly ill at ease with such proximity and physical contact.

After a few seconds of tense silence, when they both just lay there gazing into each other’s eyes, Brienne pushed him away, swiftly getting to her feet.

“It’s not over yet,” she said panting, pulling him to his feet. She quickly disarmed him and pinned him against a nearby tree, cornering him, her sword pointing at his throat.

“Yield.” she said softly “You lost.”

“I lost to you a long time ago, my lady.” Jaime sighed, looking soulfully into her pretty eyes.

_My heart. It will always be yours._

Still blushing furiously, she let go of him and was about to leave, when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him.

“Let go of my hand.” she said shyly, lowering her eyes.

“Do you love me, Brienne?” Jaime asked, his tone soft and passionate “Tell me if you don’t, and I promise, I will never pursue you again.”

“Let me go.” she repeated, still not looking him in the eye.

“Not until you answer me.” he whispered “I asked you something, wench.”

“I am not your wench.” she said gritting her teeth in anger, while at the same time blushing and avoiding his eyes. She looked so adorable, that he had to fight his frustration to prevent himself doing much more than just holding her hand.

“People are staring.” she said, her eyes now meeting his, and pleading with him wordlessly to let her go.

“Let them stare.” he breathed, his voice now barely audible, even to him “It doesn’t matter to me.” He leaned into her, closing the distance between them even further, with no resistance whatsoever from her. “I know you are well capable of freeing yourself, my lady. Go ahead. I’m not stopping you.” he said, without blinking.

Brienne however, made no attempt to free herself.

Then abruptly, Jaime released her wrist. But she was still standing there, gazing at him, not having moved even an inch from where she stood.

A few more seconds of silence later, she insisted again “If you don’t release me, Ser Jaime, I might be forced to strike you down.”

Jaime’s lips curved into a teasing smile “I let go of your hand a long time back, Lady Brienne. Why are you still here?”

When Brienne realized that he had indeed released her, she quickly turned away, but before that, Jaime had been sure that he had seen a shy little smile on her lips.

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

Brienne had been mentally berating herself for behaving like a maiden of sixteen. What the hell had happened to her tough exterior? All her warrior persona had just seemed to drop off in his presence.

_I can’t let him keep doing this to me! I have promised to marry Simon, and that’s where my attention should be focussed._

Jaime had lied to her, he had not bothered to get their marriage annulled, he had toyed with her feelings so many times in the past, and here she was, stupid enough to still melt in his presence. What did he think of himself? All the time that they were married, he cared a damn about her.

_He just walks in one day telling me he loves me, and he expects me to fall into his arms?_

Lost in her own world, she was walking back to her chambers when she bumped into Arya, who gave her a strange look.

“I was watching you fight.” Arya said, giving her an enigmatic smile “You did well.”

Brienne nodded her thanks, and was about to go her way when Arya spoke again.

“Why are you marrying Simon?” the girl asked her directly.

“Excuse me?”

“You obviously love Jaime Lannister, and he loves you.” she said, the smile still playing on her lips.

“I don’t love--” Brienne started.

“You can’t lie to me.” Arya said “I’m good at spotting lies. That little show there was anything but a sparring session.”

“I have to go.” Brienne excused herself.

She rushed back to her room, when on the way she met Sansa.

“Lady Brienne,” she called out “I need a minute.” Brienne wondered if today was the day the Stark sisters had decided to interrogate her.

“Can I ask you something?” Sansa asked, a bit hesitant.

Brienne nodded.

“What is it between you and Ser Jaime?”

_Does it need saying?_

“He was just my captive.” Brienne replied “Your mother had entrusted him to me to be taken to King’s Landing in exchange for your release.”

“Is that all?” Sansa probed.

_He is so much more than that._

“He saved my life, and my honour.” Brienne said “And he’s a friend. Nothing more than that.”

_Just a friend? Really?_

“I heard that you have been married to him.” Sansa asked her carefully. So that was what she wanted to know!

“Yes, my lady.” Brienne admitted “We still are. Unfortunately there have been some complications in getting the marriage annulled, now that both the Sept and the High Septon no longer exist.”

Sansa looked thoughtful.

“We have been thinking how to solve this problem before I marry Simon.” Brienne went on.

_I have to marry Simon. I gave him my word, I cannot go back on it._

“Are you still…” Sansa hesitated again.

“I am still a maiden.” Brienne clarified “If that is what you want to know.”

“Then there should be no problem.” Sansa looked relieved “I’m sure, there will be a way to end your marriage. There should be some way out in the Northern rituals, given that they were able to get me married to Ramsay without officially getting my marriage to Lord Tyrion annulled by any Sept...” she trailed off, recollecting the bitter experience of her marriage to Ramsay.

“We will get you out of it.” she told Brienne reassuringly “Don’t worry.”

_But the question is, do I really want out of it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer : Sansa's wedding not being officially annulled is my assumption, as they have not clearly mentioned that in the show.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know how to summarise this chapter, except...more complications!

Brienne spent the next few days feeling mostly confused and agitated. The mere presence of Jaime in her vicinity was good enough to set her heart aflutter and leave her irritable and frustrated with herself for lacking the will to resist his charms.

Fortunately there had not been much free time to dwell on these thoughts. They had news that Jon Snow and his party to Eastwatch had been successful in capturing a wight alive, and they would be travelling to King’s Landing to display the creature to Cersei in a last attempt to convince her for her support.

Sansa had plans for the three of them as well.

“Ser Jaime,” she said “As you are aware, Jon and the others at Eastwatch have captured one of the dead. They want to show it to your sister, in a bid to gain her support.”

“I heard.” Jaime nodded in acknowledgement.

“I would be happy if you could travel to King’s Landing to join them.” she requested him “You are the only one who can probably convince your sister. If you tell her--”

“My Lady,” Jaime interrupted “I don’t mind going, but I happen to be the last person Cersei will listen to.”

“No harm in trying, is there?” Sansa coaxed him “Please, I insist.”

“Very well, then.” Jaime agreed.

“Lady Brienne and Simon will be travelling with you as well.” Sansa went on “The more people we have for our king’s support, the better.”

“Why?” Jaime shot her a surprised look.

“This being a sensitive mission, we need our best people there.”

“Apart from the Dothraki and the Unsullied who are more than capable of defending us?” Jaime was still in disagreement with her.

“It has been decided, Ser Jaime, they will be travelling with you.” Sansa had already made her decision, and would not take no for an answer.

“But, My Lady,” Brienne objected “I can’t leave you alone here.”

“I can manage, Lady Brienne,” she said with a smile “It is Jon who needs your help.”

+++++

The five of them set off on the Kingsroad, and for some reason Jaime was surly all through the journey. Brienne didn’t have to make much of an effort to guess why. He refused to even acknowledge Simon’s presence and rode alongside Bronn and Pod most of the time, leaving her alone with Simon. When they decided to make camp, Brienne was to share a tent with Simon while Jaime, Bronn and Pod would spend the night in another.

“Why can’t we give her a separate tent?” Jaime muttered, irritated.

“Why would that be a problem?” Simon argued, glaring at Jaime “I’m going to be her husband. You speak as if she has never shared a room with you.”

“She was my wife.” Jaime snapped “She still _is_. That’s why I don’t see a problem with the two of us sharing--”

“She will be _my_ wife soon.” Simon shot back.

Jaime was about to throw an angry retort to his face, when Bronn touched his arm and subtly signalled to him to let it go. Brienne too was uncomfortable with the idea of spending the night under the same roof as Simon, but decided against making a fuss about it. They had finished their supper and were ready to settle down to bed. She was relieved that atleast they didn’t have to sleep on the same bedroll, that would have been extremely awkward.

_What am I going to do once I’m married to him? I have to…_

For some odd reason, Brienne’s mind kept revisiting the numerous times she had been almost intimate with Jaime. Her heart thumped furiously at the recollection of the first time that he had kissed her-the night they had to convince Cersei’s maid. _What a kiss that had been!_ She lay sleepless staring into the darkness, as another fateful night-the one in Braavos brought up a mixture of pleasant and heartbreaking memories. She tossed and turned around restlessly, the night seemed to pass in leisure and the vivid image of Jaime sprawled on her in all his naked glory was not helping her sleep at all. Forcefully shutting her eyes, she tried to focus every bit of her attention on Simon.

_Jaime looks so damn handsome with the beard, just the way he did when I first met him..._

Simon is handsome too, he has pretty eyes and he is tall, but...

_Jaime’s eyes make me go weak in the knees...the way he looks at me makes me feel I’m beautiful..._

Deciding that this was slowly venturing into risky territory, she got up from the bed. She wanted to take a stroll to clear her mind. She had spent the entire night thinking about Jaime, and it was almost dawn now.

_Yes, a walk will do me good to get him out of my system._

+++++

Brienne wandered around the campsite for a while without aim or purpose, waiting for the sun to rise and wanting to take in the first rays, when she felt a strong arm seize her around her waist. She was about to tackle her assailant and knock him down, when it dawned on her who it was. She couldn’t see his face, she didn’t have to. How could she not recognise the man who had always managed to set her pulse racing? He just had to look at her to achieve that effect.

“I know it’s you.” Brienne didn’t dare steal a glance at him “Let me go.” But Jaime only pulled her closer and swung her around, throwing his other arm around her as well, trying to pretend that he had not heard her.

“Oh, I didn’t know it was you, Brienne.” he said innocently “I had taken you for an intruder.” He seemed to have no intention to release her.

“Now that you do know it _is_ me,” Brienne tried to keep her voice down “Let me go. What is wrong with you these days? Always trying to ambush me, looking for a chance to--” she flushed, unable to bring herself to say ‘ _touch me’._

“I really didn’t know it was you.” he teased. He took his arms off her, but his eyes were locked on to hers.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Brienne focussed her attention on the ground. If there was one thing that always affected her, it was the way he looked at her.

“Don’t look away from me, Brienne.” he said softly, tilting her chin slightly upwards “Has anyone ever told you that you have astonishing eyes?”

“I must...return...” she turned away, flustered and uncomfortable with his comment. All he had ever done was taunt her and make fun of her looks, so why this compliment? Was he being serious, or was this his usual sarcastic self talking?

“What are you doing out here at this hour, wench?”

“I could not sleep.” she admitted “I came out for a walk.”

“I couldn’t sleep either.” Jaime said “Walk with me?”

They strolled around the campsite in silence, savouring the peace and quiet of the early hour, with no sound except the chirping of birds and insects and their own rhythmic footsteps. Brienne took extra care to make sure that she avoided his eyes. Occasionally his fingers brushed against hers, and although the touch was feather light, the effect it had on her frantically beating heart was profound.

“Why are you marrying Simon?” he asked, without warning. There was an obvious edge of jealousy to his tone.

“Let’s not get into that, please.” she herself had been confused since his arrival, and here he was, adding more fuel to the fire “I have decided to marry him, he is a good man and I’m sure he will make me happy.”

“Does that alone suffice for the union of two people?” Jaime argued “Tell me Brienne, are you in love with him enough to marry him?”

This conversation was turning risky, and Brienne now decided that she had done enough of walking.

“I need to go back and get some sleep.” she turned towards their campsite and hurried ahead of him, consciously maintaining a safe distance between them. As soon as they reached the camp, Brienne doubled her pace to her tent, wanting nothing more than to get away from him as quickly as she could.

“Hold on a minute.” Jaime called out as she was about to enter. She stopped there, waiting with bated breath at what he might say or do next. He took a few steps towards her with a look in his eyes that told her that he probably yearned for her as much as she desired him. But she had been terribly mistaken in the past, it was better to be safe this time, than sorry. Her head advised her to stay away from him, but her heart...what her heart felt...was something else, altogether.

_This is wrong. I’m promised to Simon. I must get away from here right away, run back to the tent._

Taking her hand, he slowly brought it to his lips, kissing her fingers one at a time. The feel of his beard against her fingertips conjured up images in her mind that made her blush. She swallowed, desperately fighting the impulse to run her fingers down his cheek. _What would it feel like to have his beard against her--_

“Brienne,” he breathed, taking another step in her direction and planting himself firmly in her personal space “Do you love me?”

_Why the hell does he keep springing up this question?_

He began kissing her wrist now, it was not exactly a kiss, just a breezy touch of his lips on her skin, but it was more than sufficient to...

_I should leave, right now, before this turns into something dangerous._

“I…” she stammered. His eyes were killing her, destroying all her sanity.

“Yes, Brienne?” he gave her a teasing smile, while grabbing her waist with his free arm and pulling her towards him. She should have resisted, pushed him away, but no-her first instinct had been to wrap her arms around his neck, and that was what she did. Their faces were now a few inches apart. She could feel his heart beating as desperately as hers, their chests heaving together as their breathing turned heavier by the second, as did the tension in the air between them.

Unable to withstand the heat in his eyes, she looked down again, when her eyes fell on his chest. That didn’t help either. His shirt was open at the top and glorious sight of his firm, well defined chest did nothing at all to distract her from indecent thoughts about him that were now beginning to seriously threaten her sanity. There was nothing more she wanted, than to get that damned shirt off him and kiss the bare patch of skin below his collarbone.

_I should think about Simon._

“You were saying something?” Jaime prompted, inching his face closer to hers every second.

_Who Simon?_

“I...I have to go…” she gulped, her face now as hot as burning coals.

“Answer me first.” his lips were now dangerously close to hers “Do you love me?”

_Gods, is he going to kiss me?_

“I don’t…” Brienne stuttered.

“Then why do you always blush in my presence, my lady?” he whispered, his charming smile making her blush even deeper.

“I don’t blush.” she wanted to sound firm, but her voice came out all weak and feeble.

“You are, now. You’re all pink.” he breathed “And I like it. It suits you.”

The sun rose, and they were bathed by the first golden rays of dawn.

“You look much uglier in daylight.” he said with a heavy sigh.

_First impressions last forever. He still loves to insult me._

“Why don’t you let me go, then?” she felt offended “Why are you still here talking to me?” She tried to pull away, but he only yanked her closer, his grip on her waist tightening.

“Still angry with me for that, wench?” he asked playfully “I was just joking. Tell me one thing, if you have no feelings for me, why do my words torment you so much? Why should it matter to you if I think you’re ugly?” His face was so close to hers that she could feel his breath on her face now, his lips almost touching hers.

“Someone might see us.” she whispered, panic rising in her chest.

 _What if Simon saw them like this?_.

“Let them see.” Jaime’s eyes burned through her soul as he moved in to kiss her “I don’t care.”

“Simon might wake up.” she gasped, melting in his arms, tightening her hold around his neck, her fingers now stroking his hair.

_Kiss me, Jaime, for god’s sake!_

“Simon can fuck off.” Jaime growled, pulling her into him, and no sooner had his lips barely touched hers, than there was a loud sneeze from inside the tent.

_Simon._

Jolted back to her senses, Brienne pushed him away in panic and rushed towards the tent. Unfortunately, she had ended up pushing him so forcibly that he stumbled and fell to the ground. About to enter the tent, she turned towards Jaime and saw him groaning in pain. Rubbing his back, he slowly got to his feet.

“Fuck Simon!” he swore loudly as she dashed into the tent, smiling to herself.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

The meeting at the Dragonpit had turned out to be an utter disaster. Euron had fled, and Cersei had turned down their request for help. That apart, Jaime was disturbed with the way Cersei had regarded Brienne throughout their exchange. His sister loathed her, that was obvious, but with the Mountain by her side, Jaime now feared for Brienne’s safely. This was why he had not wished for Brienne to be anywhere near King’s Landing, but Sansa had paid no heed to him.

He heard Tyrion volunteer to negotiate with Cersei as he approached them.

“No.” Daenerys refused firmly “I didn’t come here to see my hand murdered.” They had stopped arguing when they saw Jaime approach them.

“You haven’t met my brother, Your Grace.” Tyrion introduced him to her.

“Your grace.” Jaime nodded, not bothering to smile. Daenerys looked at him, as if trying to judge if he was friend or foe.

“You were the one who killed my father.” she said, after a long and uneasy silence.

“I had my reasons.” Jaime was tired of trying to justify his Kingslayer tag to the world. Brienne was the only one who understood him, and he had never felt the need to explain himself to anyone else. What would this girl know? She had just been a baby then.

“If we can save these discussions for later,” Tyrion intervened, attempting to break the tension between them “We have a bigger problem on our hands at present.”

“I’ll speak to Cersei.” Jaime offered “I don’t know if she would listen to me, but I can try.”

+++++

“You saw that thing, Cersei.” Jaime said “How can you refuse to help? There are way too many of them. And unless we help…”

“ _We?_ ” Cersei’s green eyes pierced through his “You had abandoned me, remember? Where is the ' _we'_ here?”

Jaime had lost all hope of getting through to her.

“Fine.” Cersei suddenly agreed, much to Jaime's surprise “I’ll send our army North to help out.”

He heaved a sigh of relief, but she had not finished yet.

“On one condition.” she continued. Jaime’s heart filled with dread, this didn’t sound good at all.

“I want you back, Jaime.” she said, moving closer to him “Back at my side, ruling by me, commanding our army again.”

“I can’t do that Cersei--” he protested.

“That is the only way.” she said, her voice still soft and calm “The Lannister forces will march North only if my brother is back as their Lord Commander. I lost Randyll Tarly to the silver-haired bitch and our army needs a new commander, so who better than you?”

Jaime was filled with despair as he realized the implication of the decision that he would have to take. “Alright.” he agreed with a heavy heart, deciding to sacrifice his own happiness for the welfare of the country. After all this effort, he was back to where he had started-Brienne would marry Simon and he would be back with Cersei.

+++++

“I’m staying.” Jaime informed Jon, appraising him of his meeting with Cersei “I’ll prepare the forces and lead the army North.”

Jon nodded “See you then, Ser Jaime.”

Spotting Brienne in a corner, he approached her wondering how to break the news to her. He felt miserable, after all that he had promised her in Winterfell, here he was, breaking her heart yet again. And this time, he would be letting her go for good. He informed her of his decision to stay back at King’s Landing. She heard him out, maintaining a stony silence throughout, her face blank and expressionless.

“I am sorry, Brienne,” _Apologies had no meaning anymore_ “For breaking your heart yet again. You deserve better than me, and who better than Simon?”

Complete silence. _Say something, wench. Yell at me, curse me, strike me down, anything..._

“I wish you a happy married life with Simon, my lady.” he said, forcing a smile “I’m sure the Northern customs will permit annulment of the marriage, since you’re still a maiden. Sansa can help you out with it.”

_Could one hear his own heart shatter into a million pieces?_

“Back to Cersei then?” she asked, her eyes shining with unspoken emotions.

Jaime didn’t know how to answer her. “Goodbye, Brienne.” was all he could manage. He gave her a short nod and walked back to the Keep, resisting the temptation to turn around for one last glimpse of her, worried that he might change his mind and run back to her.

+++++

It was time to get over his heartbreak and get back to work, his army had been waiting for his command. He was busy discussing strategy with his men, when Cersei arrived.

“I wish to speak with my brother.” she commanded the lords, who cleared the place at once.

“What are you doing?” she asked him incredulously.

Jaime was surprised at the question “Preparing our forces to ride North.” The next few minutes were pure horror as Cersei revealed her true plan to him. She had never intended to help them. All this had just been a game to get Jaime back on her side.

“I made a promise.” Jaime said, his eyes shining “And I intend to keep it.”

“The wench again?” Cersei asked bitterly.

“Her name is Brienne.” Jaime corrected her, enraged “And yes, _I love her_ , I have been in love with her ever since Harrenhal.”

Cersei just watched him silently.

“I have been a fool to realize it a little too late.” he said, agitated “The last few years, I have been deceiving myself into thinking that I loved you, when all I have wanted was her.”

“So she did manage to steal you from me.” Cersei’s tone was full of contempt.

“I am going North.” he had made his decision, and nothing could stop him now.

“No one walks away from me.” Cersei said, eying the Mountain who readied himself.

“Give the order then.” Jaime said, hurt that she could go to the extent of killing him “I don’t believe you.” he said, making his way out, not bothering to look at her again.

 

 

 

 

*****

 

 

 

 

 

It had been a few days since they had returned to Winterfell, all of them except Jaime. He had done exactly what was expected of a Lannister-shown loyalty to his family and stayed back with his sister.

_When he still wasn’t over Cersei, how dare he tell me that he loved me?_

Once again he had left her heartbroken after declaring his love for her. So typical of him, and so typical of her to have been foolish enough to have believed him yet again.

Brienne got back to her chambers after sitting through a celebration hosted in the honour of Tyrion and Sansa’s decision to rekindle their marriage. Her heart was not in it, and she only attended because Sansa wished her to. The girl even made her wear a ridiculous gown. How she hated dresses! They reminded her of their days in Braavos, the time she had spent with Jaime, when they...

There was a knock on the door, but she stay put, ignoring it. Company was the last thing she wanted right now.

“Open the door, Brienne.” Simon called out “Please, I need to speak to you.”

_What could he possibly want with me?_

Opening the door, she let him in. He followed her inside and sat down on the bed next to her.

“I came to check on you.” he said, concerned “You have not been yourself since we got back from King’s Landing. I have been worried about you.”

“I’m fine.” Brienne tried hard to fight back the tears that were threatening to flow.

“You’re not, and you can tell me what is bothering you. I am to be your husband, you can confide in me.” he said gently, taking her hand and leaning in to kiss her.

Brienne pulled away at once “Simon, I can’t…”

Simon looked surprised “We are to be married.”

“I can’t, Simon.” she said desperately “I can’t marry you, I can’t marry anyone.” She couldn’t keep up this illusion anymore.

“And that’s because?”

“I love him.” she cried out, tears flowing freely now “I love Jaime, I just cannot be anyone else’s wife.”

“I thought you--”

“He has gone back to his sister, but I still love him and I always will. There can be no other man in my life.” she couldn’t stop herself now “I’m sorry for breaking your heart, Simon. I should have told you this long back.”

“Well, I can’t say I am entirely surprised.” he sighed in resignation “I should have seen this coming from the beginning.”

“It’s no use,” she felt hopeless “He loves Cersei, and he always will.”

“No he doesn’t. The man doesn’t know how to express his feelings,” Simon said, looking thoughtful “But he loves _you_ , he always did, even in Braavos. I was a fool not to see it then. The night he confessed to you, those words came straight from his heart. That was anything but pretence.”

“No, he has always loved Cersei.” Brienne shook her head “ He is unable to get over her. He’s back to her now, he will always be hers.”

“I don’t think so.” Simon gave her a friendly hug “And I hope not.” She sank into his arms, glad to have a friendly presence by her side, a shoulder to cry on. They sat there for a long time in silence, when they were startled by a loud knock on the door again.

“Brienne!” she froze, when she heard the voice on the other side of the door.

“Open the door, wench!” Jaime called out desperately, banging on the door as he spoke “I know you are in there, and I know you are angry with me. I have to talk to you.”

“What did I tell you?” Simon gave her a smile “He couldn’t stand being away from you for long.”

Brienne frowned “No.” she said “I am not going through this yet again. Ask him to leave, Simon.”

The knocking on the door continued.

“He loves you, Brienne.” Simon tried to reason with her “Give him a chance, talk to him.”

“I gave him a chance.” she said angrily “See where that has led me. Not again.”

“A few minutes back you confessed your love for him.” Simon said “Now that he’s actually here, why can’t you both accept it and end this mutual agony once and for all? Why do you keep tormenting each other?”

“Brienne.” Jaime shouted again “I am not leaving until I talk to you. I am ready to stand outside your door all night, and for days and nights to come till the time you let me in.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter to go, feelings, confessions and whatever follows after that :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is some amount of fluff and mostly smut (loads of it to compensate the UST all through the story)  
> I've warned you, tread carefully...

_A month earlier…_

 

Jaime stormed out of the Red Keep, hit by the realisation that he had made a big mistake, an absolute blunder. He went about his preparations to ride North again, and this time again he would be all alone.

“Ready then?” Bronn called out. The sellsword was packed and all set for the journey.

“You don’t have to come with me, Bronn.”

“I know.” Bronn agreed “But I am coming. I told you, I want to side with the right people, which is you.” he added as an afterthought “You are disturbed, and you need someone with you.”

Jaime smiled, nodding a silent thanks.

He rode in silence, wondering how he would face Brienne this time. His heart sank with the thought of the high possibility that she might already be married by the time he made it to Winterfell. He had been lucky the last time, and had been given another chance, but he had blown it up, completely ruined it.

“Don’t worry.” Bronn encouraged him “Let’s hope that she has not married him yet, and this time, make sure you don’t let her go.”

+++++

_Present day..._

 

It was almost midnight when they rode through the gates of Winterfell. Jaime didn’t stop to converse much with anyone, except for a quick explanation to Jon about whatever had transpired between him and Cersei. There seemed to be some celebration going on in the castle, but Jaime didn’t care. His eyes wandered around in search of just one woman, but she was nowhere to be seen. He had to talk to her, and he had to make haste. He had already wasted five damn years!

Quickly finding his way to her room, he took a deep breath and knocked on her door. A few seconds passed without any response.

“Brienne!” he called out, hoping that she would open.

Nothing but silence.

“Open the door, wench!” Jaime called out desperately, banging on the door as he spoke “I know you are in there, and I know you are angry with me. I have to talk to you.”

He could hear more than one voice from inside. One was unmistakably Brienne’s and the other-an indistinct male voice...Was it that bloody Simon? His blood turned cold with the idea of Brienne already being married to him. But tonight, he was not going anywhere unless he found this out for himself.

“Brienne.” he shouted again “I am not leaving until I talk to you. I am ready to stand outside your door all night, and for days and nights to come till the time you let me in.”

The door finally opened. A thousand emotions surfaced in his heart, and he couldn’t make up his mind about what he would tell her first. He was about to pour his heart out, when he saw that it was Simon who had opened the door, and not Brienne.

“Simon!” he exclaimed in surprise. He dreaded coming to terms with the only logical explanation for this man to be in Brienne’s bedchambers at such an unearthly hour. He had ruined it, Brienne was gone, and this time he had lost her for good.

“Come in, Jaime.” Simon stepped aside, smiling. How could Simon smile, when he was breaking apart? Jaime held his breath when he entered, and there she was. Brienne got up as soon as she saw him.

“I don’t wish to speak to him.” she said, looking straight at Simon “Please ask him to leave.”

_So they are married. I have arrived too late!_

Stunned by the blunt reality, and his heart weighing more than he could manage, Jaime turned around to leave. There was no point now. She despised him, and he couldn’t blame her for how she felt. He had been entirely responsible for that. He was about to step out of the door, when Simon called out.

“Jaime, I think you ought to speak to her.” he said, and left the room, closing the door behind him. Jaime was surprised at Simon’s abrupt departure, which man would leave his wife alone with another man in her bedchambers in the dead of the night?

A few seconds of tense silence later, Jaime could stand it no more.

“I didn’t know, Brienne, had I known I would never have come to meet you.” Jaime blurted out, he had no intention whatsoever of tarnishing the reputation of a married woman. He had to leave her room, and right away.

“I’m married.” Brienne finally spoke.

“I know, I didn’t mean to intrude upon your life--” Jaime felt guilty again. He wanted her to be happy more than anything else, more than his own desire to be with her.

“To _you_.” Brienne finished, her eyes fixed on him.

“I know, I’m sorry for barging in,” he rambled on hastily “I’ll just leave…” he paused, when what she had just said hit him in the face.

“What did you just say?” he couldn’t believe his ears.

_Did I hear her properly?_

“I said, I am still married to you.” she repeated “I am sorry, I did nothing about that, though I have called off my wedding to Simon. I am sure there is still a way to get it annulled, I’ll speak to Sansa and we can do it right away--”

_What the hell is she going on about? Does she even know…_

Jaime took a deep breath, and then decided to do what he had been longing to do all these years, what he should have done ages ago. Hurrying over to her, he took her in his arms and kissed her with such an urgency that took him by surprise. Her eyes went round with shock, but to his relief, she showed no resistance and surrendered to him. He had kissed her a couple of times in the past, but this by far had been the sweetest.

He wanted to keep going, wishing that the moment would last forever, but then she let go abruptly.

“Ser Jaime--” she began, her face going back to its usual stubborn expression whenever she was in an argumentative mood. But not today, there would be no more arguments, no more heartbreaks. They had both been through enough of all that.

“Oh for god’s sake stop calling me ‘ _ser’,_ will you?” Jaime shouted in exasperation “We both know that we are well past that stage.”

“I wanted to say that--”

No more excuses, and no more time to waste.

“Do you love me, Brienne?” he asked her again.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” she asked, her expression softening a bit. She was blushing, and that was a good sign. When she caught him staring at her, she turned away, her back facing him. Someone had put her in a gown tonight, and thank the gods for that! Her exposed back which revealed a tantalizing patch of smooth skin, and the plunging neckline which hardly left anything to imagination did unmentionable things to certain parts of his body.

Moving towards her with a few quick steps, he wound his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. She shivered against him, which he took as an encouragement to proceed further and felt bold enough to kiss her bare back. One touch of her skin, and he could feel the heat of all the desire that had been suppressed within her over the years.

_There is fire burning inside her too...for me!_

“You are yet to answer me, wench.” he breathed into her back “Do you love me? Come on, you can’t be so cruel as to torture a poor crippled man like this.”

“I love you, Jaime.” she gasped, as he nibbled her back. His hand had made its way to her shoulder, and he was busy fumbling with the strap of her dress.

“I almost died when I thought that you had married Simon, I was afraid that I had lost you for ever...” Jaime whispered, his lips now on her neck, gradually kissing his way upwards “But the Gods have been kind to me. They happened to realize that I cannot live without you...”

“How could I marry Simon?” Brienne squirmed, as his mouth tugged at the sensitive skin behind her ear “I have always loved you, though I know not since when. And wedding vows are forever, remember? I’d rather die than accept any other man as my husband, Jaime.”

“Since we are still married,” Jaime had now pulled down the strap to her elbow, and was sliding his hand along her neck and down her shoulder, his fingers pausing and lingering at every bit of skin, savouring the feel of her body “I owe you a wedding night, don’t I? It is long pending, and I intend to finish what we started that night at Braavos. With your consent ofcourse, which I am pretty sure I have gained now.”

“Just make sure that you don’t abandon me mid way this time.” Brienne warned, taking his hand off her shoulder and sliding it up her stomach, urging him to get on with whatever he was doing to her.

“That was a big mistake.” he growled “And I definitely plan on making it up to you tonight.” He tried to get rid of the other shoulder strap with his teeth, but in the process, ended up ripping her gown. “I’m sorry about your dress,” he mouthed into her shoulder, not feeling sorry at all. He rubbed his hand back and forth over her stomach causing her to moan indecently, and slowly moved it upwards cupping her breast which was still covered by the thin fabric of the gown. She let out a squeal as he teased her nipple.

“Careful, wench, try not to be too loud.” Jaime said in mock warning “Someone might hear us.” He had been planning to torture her the entire night, even if it meant keeping the rest of the castle awake. Without warning, he spun her around to face him. He was already hard, and his erection had become unbearable now at the sight of Brienne standing in front of him, the dress off her shoulders, her breasts mostly exposed (well, he would take care of that soon), and every bit of her pale skin now a delightful shade of pink, the same colour as her face.

“ _Bend the knee_ , she said,” Jaime repeated what Daenerys had asked of him “Little does she know that there is only one woman in this world that I could ever bend the knee to.” his voice was now husky and dripping with lust. He went down on one knee and lifted her dress, and Brienne closed her eyes, her lips parting slightly in anticipation of what was to come. He held her tight as she trembled while he kissed his way up her thigh, his mouth finally finding what he had been looking for. They were both consumed by passion for the next few minutes as his tongue tortured her cunt, finding its way into her depth, tasting her and devouring her. From what he knew of her, Brienne would never have imagined that someone would do this to her, but once she was past the initial shock of his actions, she gasped and moaned at every kiss, every touch and every flick of his tongue. She clutched his hair in desperation at the agony that he was putting her through as his beard rubbed against her sensitive skin. He continued to fuck her with his tongue, until she came with a violent shudder and fell limply into his arms.

Wasting no time, he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, considering that she was too wobbly to walk, hardly able to keep her balance. She felt surprisingly lighter than he expected. Laying her on the bed, he looked at her for a second, her beige dress was now completely wet and transparent below the waist, while there was hardly any of it left above the waist, except for a modest bit covering her abdomen and her breasts.

The bulge in his trousers was growing larger every second, Brienne shot a glance at it, and her eyes filled with desire as her hands immediately reached for his clothes. Fortunately he had not been wearing much tonight, just the trousers and a shirt. Unbuttoning his shirt, she took it off him, her face lighting up with a mix of admiration and hunger at the sight of his bare chest. She licked her lips, and the sight of it drove his cock into a frenzy. Unable to bear it any longer, he got rid of his trousers, his cock finally freed from its imprisonment.

Brienne let out a gasp at the sight of his length. Their eyes met in a fiery gaze, as she pulled him towards her. His mouth was soon on hers again and her hands moved all over his chest, her fingernails against his skin only adding to the already mounting ache between his legs. He thrust his tongue deep into her mouth, tasting her and biting her lip, as he ripped what was left of the dress off her. She cried out his name desperately, writhing under him as his hand was now all over her, his fingers and mouth simultaneously squeezing, pinching and nibbling at her breasts until her nipples had become slightly sore with the ruthless assault that they were being subjected to. For a second, he was worried that in the heat of the moment he might have hurt her, but the loud gasp that escaped her lips when he reached for her breast again put all such doubts to rest.

Sliding one hand along his back, she reached for his cock with the other.

“No!” he growled, tapping her hand. “You are not doing that, wench.” He could not allow her to touch him, she didn’t know how vulnerable he was to her touch, she just had to lay one finger on him and he would come apart. Before she could react, he thrust himself deep inside her, causing her to let out a sharp scream. He lay still for a moment, giving her time to adjust to his length, to get accustomed to the feel of his cock inside her, to accept him. The pained look on her face quickly gave way to one of fierce passion as she closed her eyes and adjusted her hips, inviting him to thrust deeper.

“Jaime!” she cried out hoarsely, as he moved slowly at first, worried that he might hurt her, but he took one look at the fire in her eyes, and he could hold himself no longer. He wanted to fuck her hard and rough, he wanted to fuck her like there was no tomorrow, he wanted to fuck her all night, and going by the hunger and yearning in her eyes, she seemed to want the same. Blinded by lust, he plunged harder, burying himself to the hilt inside her, moving frantically against her. Once she had familiarized herself to his rhythm, she moved with him matching every thrust and every plunge, resulting in such sweet agony that he felt that he might fall apart! He had fucked Cersei numerous times, but he had never experienced such pleasure ever, and he screamed Brienne’s name as they came together, their mounting passion culminating in an explosive resolution.

“I love you.” Brienne whispered in his ear, as he buried his face in her breasts, spent and satisfied. He looked up at her, gazing into her eyes dreamily as he softly kissed her lips.

“I am yours, Brienne.” he said, his eyes full of longing “I will always be yours.”

+++++

Jaime lay awake for quite a while. At long last, all his dreams had come true. _This is life,_ he thought, fondly looking at the sleeping woman in his arms. They had fucked all night, and though it was not dawn yet, he had tired her out and he was proud of himself for that achievement. If it had not been for her fatigue, he would have gone on and on for a few more times atleast...

All these years of pent up yearning, and longing and frustration later, she was finally his, and he was hers. Kissing her lightly on the head, he closed his eyes. For the first time in his life, he was happy and contented and looking forward to the future, bleak though it may be. He had his wench, and that was all he wanted. He was now ready to face anything that the world might throw at him, now that he had Brienne by his side.

 

 

*****

 

Brienne sat in the tub relaxing in the warmth of the water and smiling to herself, as she scrubbed her arm. Last night had been _incredible_. She blushed as she recalled every little touch, the feel of his mouth and fingers on parts of her body that she had never even imagined would be touched by a man. By her standards, they had crossed all the levels of decency last night, but she could get used to it. She could get used to him! The familiar pleasant ache between her legs returned, as the memories of whatever he had done to her last night came back to her head. She scrubbed her arm harder in frustration, as the heat of desire inside her peaked rapidly to a level that she could no longer withstand...

“Not so hard,” she heard Jaime call out from behind her “You’ll scrub the skin off.”

Her heart skipped a beat as she got up and turned to the edge, ready to leave, but within a few seconds he had joined her in the tub.

“Did you miss me, wench?” he breathed in her ear, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her.

_Gods, this is just like how it happened in my dream!_

“Tired of me already?” he teased, pushing her against the edge and shoving his body against hers “Did I wear you out too much last night?”

“When did I say that?” she asked, her voice turning husky, as his hand moved away from her waist and up her stomach, finally resting at her chest.

“You like the way I touch you here, don’t you?” he whispered, reaching out for her breast. She whimpered helplessly, as his fingers teased her breast, caressing it and pinching her nipple until it stood taut and erect. Sliding his hand to her other breast, he meted out the same agonizing treatment to it. She let out a hoarse cry, and leaned back into him, unable to maintain her balance. His strong arms supported her, not letting her fall as her knees buckled under the torture that he was subjecting her to.

“Yes, Jaime...” she moaned, as he continued tormenting her breasts, while his mouth focussed on her back and her neck, his beard nuzzling against her, causing ripples of pleasure that were threatening to tear her apart. She trembled, as his hand now moved to her legs, reaching between her thighs, and his fingers deftly found their way to her cunt. He teased her clit, rubbing it with his thumb, resulting in a wave of ecstasy that blinded her for a moment, while he slowly fucked her with his fingers, quickening his pace when she could take it no more and pleaded with him for release. She could feel his arousal, long and hard against her ass. His fingers were causing havoc inside her, and when she finally came, a tremor rocked her body and her knees felt wobbly, as she stumbled back into his arms.

“This is just like the dream I had,” she mumbled weakly, as he supported her back to her feet.

“You had filthy dreams as well?” he inquired mischievously, turning her face to him, his lips finding hers. She blushed, giving him a slight nod, and his lips were on hers, wet and soft, devouring her yet again.

_Could they ever get enough of each other?_

“We even dream alike, wench. As your husband, it is my responsibility to fulfill your dreams, isn’t it?” his voice was thick with lust as took her from behind, thrusting deep inside her, while his hand returned to fondle her breasts. He fucked her hard, his pace furiously rising with every thrust, their hot, wet bodies frantically rubbing against each other, the friction increasing the pleasure to unmentionable proportions. She cried out his name, throwing her arms backwards and caressing his neck, her screams and moans getting louder and louder with each thrust. And yet again, she matched pace with him, as they both reached their climax together as if they had been made for each other, as if they were always meant to be together.

+++++

They were sitting in the tub, blissfully wrapped around each other when Brienne suddenly turned to him, remembering something.

“This is where we first met, Jaime!” she exclaimed, her eyes shining “In a bathtub.”

He placed a palm to her forehead and gave her a concerned look “Are you okay, wench? I know, I can have an intoxicating effect on women, but you seem to have gone a bit too far.”

_He doesn’t understand._

“Remember Harrenhal?” she asked, trying to refresh his memory “The bath we shared?”

“How could I forget that?” the lusty glint was back in his eyes.

“Before that day, you were just the Kingslayer to me.” Brienne explained, giving him a fond look “It was in that bath, that I met _Ser Jaime Lannister_ for the first time.” Smiling at him lovingly, she kissed him again.

“We do have my father and Olenna Tyrell to thank for this day.” Jaime said, as she leaned back into his chest.

“Olenna Tyrell?” Brienne was surprised.

“She was the one who spread those rumours about us. I came to know later on.” he added “And I have to thank Bronn ofcourse, for tirelessly motivating me to pursue you.”

Brienne smiled, taking his hand and bringing it to her lips.

“Talking about pursuing, I do think I have done a pretty good job…” he said, giving her one of those charming smiles that made her go weak in the knees “Care for one more round in the tub, my lady?” he asked, before bringing his lips to hers for another kiss.

 

 

*****

 

 

“So you did fuck her after all!” Bronn exclaimed happily, when they met on the grounds the next morning for their training.

“How the hell did you know?” Jaime was surprised, he had not told anyone anything yet. What happened last night had been a private moment, something that he wanted to cherish and treasure.

“I can see it in your eyes, cunt.” Bronn smirked “For a change you look genuinely happy. You are glowing!”

Bronn was right, Jaime had never felt such warmth and happiness before. “Thanks, Bronn,” he said sincerely “For knocking sense into me when I was being a complete idiot.”

“I did nothing.” Bronn shrugged “You deserve her, and so does she, and like I said earlier, the gods and fate meant for you to be together.”

Jaime smiled, perhaps believing in fate was not so bad after all!

“However…” Bronn went on “If you want some tips on how to satisfy your woman in bed, I can help you out, I just happen to charge a nominal fee--”

“Bronn.” Jaime groaned “Can we get back to our training now?”

“Only if your mind is in it.” Bronn replied snarkily, picking up his sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the end of my tale. This has been a long and emotional journey for me (this is the longest story I have written so far) and I thank each and every one of you who have been through it with me till the end. I love you guys, and without your encouragement and your comments I would never have pushed myself to finish it!  
> Over the last couple of months, I have managed to please some of you, disappoint some of you and irritate some of you with this story, but all said and done, it has been a fantastic journey!  
> As always, thanks for reading :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Do share your comments :)


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